Canvas of Imperfection
by sadistickunais
Summary: After Demon Days, Noodle's disappearance, then Plastic Beach, the Gorillaz find themselves in a strange place. Noodle must decide if love is worth all the heartache and fears that have consumed her since her death.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: This is m first posted Gorillaz fanfic. Please try and be considerate. Criticize if you must or feel it's necessary—I don't mind constructive criticism. Shove your flames up your arse. Thanks. I love the Gorillaz so I'll do my best not to butcher them or their personalities…but mind you this story is set a while after Demon Days and Plastic Beach…change happens. Set YEARS later, literally—not one or two. Like 8. Noodle is 22, and she and 2D are actually 12 years apart—not altering the timeline all. So everyone else is their true age. GO GORILLAZ! I mean really…they are friggin amazing…Please try to enjoy the fic._

* * *

_Some kind of nature some kind of soul  
Come forth within us  
oh lord forgive me  
Some kind of mixture some kind of goal  
It's gonna come and find us  
All we are is dust_

~Some kind of Nature - Gorillaz

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Carpets—Noodle had always loved them. For as long as she'd been back she loathed Plastic Beach from the setup to how it was accessed from above water; from the fake beach to the underwater room where Murdoc had stuck 2D for all the years she'd been gone. How he'd survived was a mystery to her. Carpets were also, consequently, why she enjoyed Kong so much; no one knew she was around or that she was there. It was easier to hide, to not be bothered or heard when there was carpet beneath her feet. That being the case, she had to strain hard not to wake the occupants of the Beach when she walked down the hall. When she'd returned there hadn't been anywhere for her to stay seeing as to she'd been assumed dead. And she'd felt like it for years. Only recently having returned and lived at Plastic Beach—it'd been merely about a year—Noodle had become accustomed to not having her own place to stay.

It was painful enough to think about how she'd been easily replaced by an android replica and how quickly they'd moved on without her and Russell. Of course Murdoc had denied this and explained that they had to make an album or his band would fall into the abyss of the music industry. She'd accepted the answer but she'd never been comfortable with the android and had, as a result, asked Murdoc to put it away so she'd never see it again. It did bring back painful memories for all of them; but Noodle always took it the hardest when she saw it or thought about the metal version of herself, a version that upon discovered was nothing like her. Coupled along with its interest in pop music and Robert Patterson, she'd also been sick at the thought that it was Murdoc's protector and 2D's watch guard as well. Despite all these strange things Noodle had come to attempt to forget the whole fiasco. The fact that she hadn't been there to make the new album made her curious and so she listened to it over the year she'd been there, her mind going over the lyrics in her head, over and over. 2D's voice haunted her, his voice sad as she listened. Now at the age of 22 and no longer a little girl she understood things she wouldn't have back then. To her 2D seemed like he had lost a piece of himself though she didn't know what or why. He seemed so different, his music depressed and disconnected. The lyrics seemed to speak what he truly felt. He'd even become more reticent since her return a year ago and she found that their friendship was somewhat strained.

She knew some of it had to do with her disappearance and how she wasn't quite the same Noodle he had last seen and spoken to all those years ago—8 years changed a person drastically. She felt different too, mostly disconnected and quiet. Her perky nature emerged every now and then but even she knew things weren't the same. Her mind was blank most of the time and she wanted to do anything but make another album. Murdoc had, thankfully, not pressured them into this after her sudden return. In the meantime they had been rejoined by Russell, who had, previously, been a giant and unable to live in Plastic Beach's underground part, according to the Satanic Bassist. She hadn't thought too much into that though she was curious and did have her reservations about it. So wrapped in her thoughts was she that she failed to notice 2D standing in the middle of the hallway to his room looking solemn and seemingly focused on something that wasn't really there. However, her reverie was interrupted as she came back to reality and looked up into the black, hollowed eyes of the blue haired singer; a cigarette hung from his lips. He appeared to be studying her and Noodle pushed away the light blush that wanted to make its way to her cheeks.

"Good evening, 2D-san," she replied, her Japanese accent still noticeable after so many years. "What is the matter?"

"Nofink…couldn't sleep…me 'ead 'urts," he answered, not really moving. "Somefink wrong?"

She shook her head. "No. I was just getting some water. I should be going to bed. Goodnight 2D-san." As she walked by him she heard a sigh escape his lips. Startled, she stopped and glanced up at him, her jade eyes meeting his as their shoulders touched ever so lightly. "2D-san… what's the matter?"

"Nofink is 'ere goin ta be the 'ame, is it?" Noodle did a double take as his gaze intensified, blackened eyes melancholy as his hand reached up to cup her cheek. She unconsciously leaned into his caress. "My lil' love…yeh back but…yeh ain't lil no more…s'awright but…" He didn't finish his sentence as his hand fell from her face and he started away from her, shoulder hunched and dejected. "G'night, love."

Noodle stood frozen in place. Moments like these were not uncommon with 2D since she'd come back but they had never felt so scary or desolate before this. A chill ran up her spine as she turned around, and watched him walk down the hall, silent and resolute. Previously she had been on her way to get some water before going back to the main room where she was sleeping since she had no room. But something compelled her to follow after 2D. She began to walk after him when someone stopped her.

"Noodle, love…leave 'at dullard 'lone. He ain't the same since you returned. Fuckin face ache…" the bassist mumbled something as he grabbed Noodle's hand and dragged her back to the main room. "Listen, love, yeh jus' need ta focus on your return, awright?"

Somewhat surprised at Murdoc's softer side showing, Noodle let out a small chuckle. "Murdoc-san…I will be alright, thank you. I just…worry about 2D-san…" The older man frowned and scoffed. "But I…need to ask you about…Plastic Beach…about 2D-san…please."

Murdoc looked annoyed but nodded. "Wha' abou' tha' dimwit Dullard?"

"When did 2D-san…lose his…heart?" The Satanist blinked in surprise and Noodle surged forward with her questioning. "It's just that I was listening to Plastic Beach…and his voice is…the lyrics…I don't understand what has happened. Did someone…hurt D-san? He seems so sad, so lifeless and the songs…why are they all about love? Did someone hurt him while I was gone, Murdoc-san?"

Murdoc scratched the back of his head, suddenly nervous though he hid it well. He knew what had happened but he wasn't sure he should tell the young woman. He couldn't tell her the truth, that face ache had been depressed ever since her disappearance and that someone had broken his heart—that the Satanist had broken him by doing what he'd done to Noodle. The young Japanese woman was the source for all their great music. 2D's misery and pain had carried them through the charts and helped make Plastic Beach as great as it had been. But he couldn't tell her that. "E's jus' takin too many meds is all, love."

She looked skeptical. "Murdoc-san…"

He sighed. "Well, need me sleep! Best be off to bed!"

With that he was gone and Noodle was left to ponder why it was he didn't tell her the truth. She looked forlornly in the direction of her friend's room, trying hard to resist the urge to go over and speak to him. She could hear Russell snoring from above and wanted nothing more than to crawl into his arms for comfort. He'd always been like a big brother and father figure to her and she always felt comforted by him in a completely different way that Murdoc and 2D. Though she'd have to admit that her favorite place to be had always been with 2D himself—whether it was in his arms or simply beside him, with him, near him. Feeling tears burn at her eyelids, Noodle shoved herself under the blankets, eyes bleary and mind tired from too much thinking. Tomorrow was the day, she decided, that she'd get to the bottom of what had been eating away at everyone living in Plastic Beach. '_I can't keep living this way,_' she told herself.

*LINE BREAK*

Noodle awoke to the melancholy sight of dim lighting in the main room as there were no windows in the lower rooms of Plastic Beach. Her back ached a little and she realized she'd fallen asleep in a rather odd position, most likely due to a fitful sleep. Annoyed, she threw her covers off as she heard a solemn tune drifting through the walls, which she was sure were, more or less, paper thin. She knew where the song was generating from and decided to put her headphones on as the person who played it made her heart ache. '_2D-kun…so haunted_,' she mused as she walked away from the song towards the kitchen in hopes to snag something to drink. And the tune followed her. She couldn't hear the words clearly and wanted nothing more but to erase the lyrics from her brain.

_There's nothing you can say to him_

_He is an outer heart_

_And the space has been broken_

Banging her forehead lightly on the countertop as she braced her hands on the ceramic, Noodle sighed and tried to ignore the voice that suddenly began to drift through the walls with the eerie melody. It wasn't just the song anymore or the instrumental version. She could actually hear 2D's voice creep under the crack of his door and into the kitchen. Lately, she couldn't handle hearing the song that reminded her of true heartbreak. Of what had happened. And of what seemed to say what he was truly feeling. Who had hurt him so bad that his song because a depressing expression of love? Shaking her head again she made her way back towards the main room. Upon entering she saw Russel sitting on the couch looking still half asleep with the TV blaring. She took a seat next to him, her eyes somewhat fuzzy from sleep and her fingers numb from the cold glass of juice in her fingers. They were soon joined by Murdoc and abruptly after this the music in 2D's room cut-off. Noodle saw more than heard his door open but quickly looked away as a light blush stained her cheeks and she took a large sip of her juice, fingers trembling as she held it. Murdoc raised a brow but said nothing as he ignored 2D.

"Yo D, you want some breakfast?"

"Sure Russ, wot we 'avin?" 2D's blank stare echoed in Noodle's eyes as he reached into his pocket for his pain killers.

"Baby girl, what about some pancakes? That sound good?"

Noodle felt her blush intensify as they all looked at her. "Uh, yes Russel-san, that sounds great," she managed as she downed the rest of her juice, standing and stretching her long limbs and scratching her side. Suddenly her tank top felt too tight and her pajama shorts seemed too short as she glanced at them. Murdoc had already looked away, bored. Russel was doing mental calculations in his head about how many pancakes to make. And 2D was staring at her—not in the most flattering way, of course—but she felt odd. Not happy, not sad, not bothered. Just strange. Fighting back a frustrated sigh she walked out of the room towards the bathroom in hopes of a hot shower and some alone time to think since she hadn't had any the night before thanks to Murdoc. She was almost to the bathroom when she heard the soft padding of feet behind her in the hallway.

"Lil love?"

She froze, her appearance normal but heart thundering in her chest as she turned to look at him. "Um…yes, 'D-san?"

"I wos finkin...abou' las' nigh' an' all…yeh wos goin ta' ask me somfink, weren' yeh?" His blackened eyes searched hers, seemingly confused and desperate as he fidgeted with the lighter in his left.

"No, I…was just getting a glass of water," she answered, glad her voice didn't crack like she thought it would. "But I…would like to ask you something later, if that's okay."

"Anyfink lil love…anyfink you want," he replied with a ghost of smile. "Goin' ta 'ave me some ciggies. 'Ey Noodle, d'ya fink—Noodle?"

She didn't wait for anymore as she turned tail and ran to the bathroom before slamming the door shut. 2D stared after her in surprise and wonder as puzzlement washed over him at her sudden departure. Behind the closed door Noodle was breathing hard, her eyes teary and hands shaking as she opened up the cabinet in search of a towel. She was terrified of 2D; well, more like terrified of what had happened to him and her inability to deal with it. As she turned the water to scorching hot she couldn't help but feel like part of her was dying each day as she wandered around Plastic Beach. Outside, topside to be precise, it was beautiful. A fake beach sitting in the middle of the ocean, a place where Russel spent most of his time now that he was able to come in and out as he pleased. The lift itself was tinier than the one she'd been in at Kong, or so that's what she recalled. But 8 years was a long time and she wasn't quite sure about anything anymore. With another sigh she slowly undressed before stepping into the hot water that threatened to burn her fragile, sensitive skin. She couldn't even picture 2D the way she wanted to. Sure, his hollowed abysses of eyes were still there with the same cerulean spikes and beautifully mesmerizing voice he'd always possessed. His skin was still the same, too, littered by scars and nothing short of twisted perfection. His demeanor, in general, hadn't changed. He still had the same blank look on his face, the same empty, spaced out gaze when he talked, the same distracted air when he was in conversation. No, these things hadn't changed.

But he had.

Noodle felt a shiver shoot up her spine even though the water was at its hottest. The person standing outside her door, knocking she now realized, was not 2D. He was a shell. A sob threatened to choke her as she covered her mouth, listening intently to the words being spoken outside her door by a man she loved but could no longer claim to know. She'd seen the painkillers every day since she'd arrived and had always assumed that the drugs were what were killing 2D; or Murdoc's past and present beatings. But 8 years later she no longer believed this. It was true that he didn't have many thoughts up there from minute to minute but he was no idiot. And neither was she. Another sob threatened her as she heard another rap on the door from her singer friend. She wanted to shout at him to go away, to leave, to get away from her with his fake cheeriness and false advertisement of living—she hated everything about Plastic Beach.

"Noodle? Is somfink the matter? Lil' Love?" 2D persisted in trying to talk to her even though part of him could hear the shower running behind the closed door. He turned, slightly, to his left and saw that Murdoc was already drinking from a bottle of tequila. Russel was cooking but 2D found he had no appetite. His mind was totally focused on the young woman behind the door. And boy was she a woman, he mused as he recalled the past night's events. Though nothing serious 2D knew when things had changed. He rubbed his tired, bruised eyes with equally numb fingers as his painkillers kicked in and he suddenly felt tingly all over. He knocked again. "Noodle? Love…can I talk ta yeh when yeh done in 'ere?"

She shook her head within the confines of the shower even though she knew he couldn't see. She wanted nothing more than to run to the lift and take it all the way up to the roof. Unlike at Kong where she'd had her own room, Noodle had nowhere to run but the roof and even then, 2D could come after her if he chose to. She mumbled something incoherent to herself before plugging her ears with her delicate fingers as she attempted to block out 2D's incessant knocks. About ten minutes later, when she felt like she was going to die of heatstroke under the shower spout, she noticed he had stopped. Thanking whoever or whatever it was that either pulled him away or distracted him, Noodle made her way out the door, relieved to see that no one remained in the main room. She rummaged, quickly, through a bag of clothes she'd picked up a long the years and ran back to the bathroom to change.

Plastic Beach was not necessarily hot or cold even though inside it looked like an eerie dump reminiscent of Kong but without all the zombies. '_What about zombie sea creatures?_' she laughed at this as she pulled on her jeans and slipped her tank top over her head. At least zombie sea creatures would offer some strange familiarity that connected her to her past home. Her hair, now longer than she'd ever had it, hung loose and damp against her back and she wrestled with trying to clip it as best as possible. Her hair had always been a source of pride but lately she used it to cover her face when situations with 2D became too intense. Or if she was just being lazy. Tossing the towels into the hamper, she made her way topside as she heard a drunken Murdoc singing and banging things around in the studio while Russel seemed to try and calm him down. She could smell food and assumed Murdoc had been too drunk to tell the large drummer not to bring it into the studio. Her hand was poised on the doorknob when she heard him start to sing. She froze again, her hand squeezing the doorknob so tight she thought it might break under her grip.

She felt her heart tighten as she heard somber lyrics drift through the doors through the voice of the talented man she was enamored with for so long. But her silent mourning was broken immediately after as she heard the green skinned man shout, banging, a crash and some more shouting. She cringed.

"EY' FACE ACHE! WOT YEH PLAYIN THA' FOR? I TOLD YEH TA PLAY PLASTIC BEACH!"

"Shut up, Muds," came the deeper slang of her father figure.

"LARDS, YEH SHUT IT!" Murdoc shouted back.

"I wos jus' tryin' ta sing somefink a lil' more upbeat," 2D's voice sounded defensive though meek; but then there was another crash and Noodle heard 2D whine. "Muds, tha' urt'!"

"That's it! I'm takin you outside, man!"

Noodle yelped and jumped back as the door burst open to reveal Russel carrying the satanic bassist over his shoulder. For his part Murdoc was sloshing Tequila everywhere while cursing but he seemed too intoxicated to do much else. She gave the older men a small smile before watching Russel disappear up the rickety looking steps, casually overstepping the missing one, to the balcony. She was so caught up in staring that she'd almost forgot 2D was still inside until her heard him curse. She whirled around as a harsh muttered "fook" reached her ears. 2D was sitting on a swivel chair by the guitar collection holding his head and digging in his pockets. She already knew what he was looking for and was somewhat relieved and amazed as he pulled out an orange container. He shoved a few pills in his mouth before leaning back a little, seeming not to have noticed her either.

"2D-san?"

He shot up as quickly as possible, which was really the most sluggish scene she'd ever seen. He gave her a blank stare as she took a seat next to him atop the sound check area so that she was elevated and had to look down at him. His eyes, like deep, dark voids caught her emerald pair as she blushed, her fingers suddenly itching to scratch something to avoid delving into his blue locks. He smiled up at her. "Ello' lil love. Yeh scared me. Wotcha doin up ere' after that mess?"

"I just wanted…to practice on my guitar is all," she lied through her teeth as she pointed to her instrument. "Would you like to…sing with me?"

"Wotcha wan' ta sing, love?" He asked, his voice betraying the cheeriness in it.

Noodle shoved the sign back down her throat as he handed her the guitar. "What about something…not from Plastic Beach?"

He appeared thoughtful, which made Noodle want to laugh as he looked completely spaced out. "Well…wot would yeh wan' ta play?"

She tapped her chin as she ignored Murdoc's shouts and Russel's threats from up top. "What about…Kids with guns?" She knew it was safe as there was nothing about heartbreak or love in it—just social issues; nothing 2D could mourn about, really. He nodded and she began to strum the melody with her guitar, filling in Murdoc's parts as best as possible. He sang and he sang beautifully, as usual, as Noodle strummed away with practiced fingers. Her mind, however, was anywhere but the song they were playing. She felt as though her world was one big waste of effort when it came to 2D and pretending that everything was okay, that she hadn't noticed how forlorn he'd become since she'd been back. Suddenly, she stopped playing as a thought crossed her mind. '_When did this…start?_' She wasn't sure if it would change anything about her assumptions but she dropped her guitar, ignoring the yelp from 2D as his singing was abruptly cut-off while he made a grab for the guitar. She ran all the way up to the balcony, hopping over the missing step and barely registering 2D's cries of curiosity with her actions. Once topside she saw Murdoc holding his head as Russel muttered under his breath about "Muds this" and "Muds that." She didn't give it a second thought as she stopped in front of Murdoc, panting slightly from moving so fast.

"Murdoc-san…how long 2D been…like this?"

He glanced up at her through his pounding headache. "Wot yeh talkin' bout'?" He gave her a semi-glare at this.

"How long has 2D-san been…reticent?" She pressed on with her questions.

"Tha' Dullard? 'Ow the 'ell should I know?"

"You were the only one with him, Muds," came the curt reply as their drummer searched for his plate of food. "Just answer the damn question 'fore I shove my fist down yo' throat."

"Fuck yeh, lards!" He mumbled angrily but supplied Noodle with the answer she needed, the one that would suffice. "Face Ache's been like tha' fo' o'er 7 years now, in' it, Russ?" Said man nodded in agreement. "Tha' answer' yer question? Now piss off. Me 'ead 'urts like 'ell!"

She backed away quickly, her suspicions not necessarily confirmed but the beginning of the not so mysterious mystery began to unravel as she leaned over the gap that showed the bottom half of the studio to her. She could see him still sitting there, his blue locks protruding from underneath a sun visor, his hands still around the orange pill bottle. Frustration crept into her mind and itched at her fingertips as she contemplated her next move. The ache of despair was creeping into her blood again as she heard him start to sing for the third time that day. Her soul felt like sinking as the words crept into her ears like a sweet, sensuous poison that filled her with such delectable fire and misery that Noodle thought she'd melt into a pathetic pile of tears and ecstasy right then and there.

Holding back crystalline droplets that fought to become her undoing, Noodle darted down the stairs and into the rickety mechanical lift before 2D had a chance to see her face. She felt the fear seep into her skin like a disease as she pictured his face, somber but fake, as he sang the lyrics that caused her heart to plummet into oblivion. He had no idea what his singing did to her, what his voice did to her mind, body and soul. He had the power to paralyze her, to make her heart soar—the power to cause her utter demise. He would be the ruin of her, raze her into the ends of the earth. And he had absolutely no idea. As Noodle sunk to the floor, hugging her body with her trembling arms against the metal confines of her escape, she became aware that she wasn't upset of what had happened to 2D, no, not at all.

She was afraid of him.

TBC…

_(Okay, I know it's started off a little weird and cheesy but it's going to get deeper—not lighter. ALL Constructive Criticism is welcome. Flames, take a damn hike. But if you must, please send me a message about it. Or if you have A LOT of criticism—since this is my first fic—please send me a message so I can work it out. Thank you for reading. You all rock. Please review.)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

**This is a tribute, btw, another author whose name I can't seem to post here. It's a . mild. groove (without the spaces in between) This author writes some of the most amazing Gorillaz fanfics I've ever read—and one of the first I ever read, to be honest. You're an inspiration! MAJOR KUDOS! **

Thanks to those who reviewed—you're awesome!

Sweetums128neo—I'm going to do a lot more, if I can! Noodle's going to get a whole lot more heartbreaking as it progresses! Thank you!

Gimmie back that fillet o'fish – sweet name…love it! I'm gonna keep writing, no worries!

Bar—I'm glad you liked the emotional conflict. I felt like after all those years, there would HAVE to be a good amount of it.

FacePalm Inc.—thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

_A/N: Had to get the business taken care of, kiddies. Okay so this is still my first attempt, but chapter 2! Sorry if I messed up on the Plastic Beach layout in the first chapter. I'm going to revise it a bit. However, this should be more accurate, I hope. I think Noodle and 2D are like…22 and 34-ish in this story since they're 12 years apart at this point. Also, sorry if it's moving slow but I'm really trying to capture Noodle's feelings and emotions; she is the main focus and 2D will be more so later. This is the fastest I've EVER updated a story in my life…hope it keeps up. Last thing…I'm really sorry if the accent—writing wise—is way off. I'm out of the loop and don't know how to write them that well. If anyone wants to help or make suggestions for that, I'm open to it. Thanks. Please enjoy._

'_thoughts' and occasional flashbacks_

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_If it's love, it's electric  
It'll be flowing on the streets  
Night after night  
Just to get through the week  
Sometime's it's hard  
Right now_

Stylo – Gorillaz ft. Mos Def and Bobby Womack

**Canvas of Imperfection**

She could hear the lift going up as she stepped into the engineer room, glad that Dave the weird engineer had been long gone. She'd heard enough stories about him when he'd first come to Plastic Beach from 2D and Murdoc to last her a lifetime. Sighing, she walked down the steps past the MEL machine and towards the one place she couldn't stand. Outside "Noodle's Cupboard" she paused, hand poised right above the brass doorknob with a somewhat eerie feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. Her mind weighed the options of opening the doors. Should she, and face what she'd so desperately asked to be hidden for all eternity? '_It's like opening a can a worms, as the saying goes,_' she mused, hand still suspended in mid-air. '_Can I even face that thing? It's been over a year…_' her thought trailed off as she slowly opened the red doors, the creaking throwing her a little as she peered inside. There it sat as it had for the last year, looking the same as it had for the past 7 years she hadn't been there. Clad in an army getup that Murdoc had selected for its "farewell" sat Android Noodle with various wires attached to her head. '_Its head,'_ Noodle corrected her mind, somewhat distraught that she'd even referred to it as a person—as herself. Its eyes were closed, short purple hair hidden under an army cap with a bullet through it, slumped over the panel, which was surrounded by hundreds of bottles of machine oil and weaponry. Was this how Murdoc kept 2D captive? The thought made her sick to her stomach but she could not find it within her to hate Murdoc they way she knew she should after what he'd done to the love of her life.

Sickened again at that thought, Noodle stumbled over a wire towards her replica, running her hands over the smooth, fake hair of her young, splitting image. On some level she hated herself for feeling any sympathy towards the metal made android. It looked like she used to, played guitar like she used to, sang like she used to, was around like she used to; but it was not who she used to be. The apparent differences were what separated her immediately when she'd first returned. That and the fact that it had attacked her when she'd accidently wandered into 2D's room in search of her family. Murdoc had been out and the whale that he paid to watch 2D had swam away briefly, leaving Android Noodle to take up guard as she faced 2D who was huddled against the wall on his bed. Noodle had blinked, her good eye not really understanding what had happened the first instance she'd peeked into the room. Noodle stopped her ministrations on the metal replica as her mind drifted back to her initial run in with the android and her first eyeful of 2D after 8 years.

_*Flashback*_

_The purple haired Japanese woman could feel the blood seeping into her exposed eye, the lid somewhat torn and bruised from her journey. She was shivering and her teeth were chattering as she walked as quietly as possible through the entrance of the Plastic Beach in search of any occupants who were familiar. She'd heard somewhere that her family—the Gorillaz—had made another album. She hadn't heard it yet but the news stunned her nonetheless as it had been almost 8 years since she'd been assumed dead after their album, Demon Days. When her windmill had been shot down after the filming of El Manana, she assumed fowl play and was correct. But to the day she hadn't figured out who had arranged it, which was somewhat irksome to her. But not as irksome as the thoughts of coming back from hell to find out that they had made a new album without her, that there was someone parading around as her 15 year old self. That one had thrown her completely, at the time. Noodle sighed as she kept walking, unsure of what she would find at this place. _

_After she'd initially made it back from hell she went straight to Kong, which wasn't really that long ago. But upon her arrival she'd found it a wasteland with no one living there. Her family was gone and she had no idea where until she heard about Plastic Beach and its release a couple years after her untimely "death." By the time she realized all this had occurred she knew things were going to be hard but she had to find them. At 22 years old she knew that she needed to go back to them, to her family, to him. And despite the fact that it hurt to know what she'd discovered and the years lost between them, she was determined to find them and let him know she was alive and….somewhat well. _

_That brought her to the present exploring the Plastic façade of a house she'd only seen in faded pictures from years ago. It had been quite some time since the album Plastic Beach had been released and Noodle knew that if all hope hadn't been lost during it's making, then it would certainly be by now. Therefore, she needed to prove that loss wrong. She was going to prove she was still here. Rubbing the ache in her arms from her swimming, she tried to get the blood circulating all over her body to restore some warmth. Her teeth still chattering from the cold and painful bruises all over her olive tinted skin, she continued on through the entrance and into the circular lift. She could see the buttons had titles to designated areas. Her eyes widened, her bloody one slightly, as she saw 2D's room was accessible. She jammed her finger on the button frantically, her hopes rising as she heard the lift groan as thought it hadn't been used in decades before descending down about 2 floors. She briefly pondered how many floors and room existed in the hellhole that was to be her future home yet didn't have much of a chance before the doors opening and she stepped into a dimly lit, dingy and dank hallway that led to one lone door at the very end of the medium sized hallway. Padding as softly as she could to the end, she took a deep breath before slowly opening the door, hearing it creak with age._

"_2D-san…?" Her voice was hopeful but uncertain. "2D-san…are you in here?"_

_She let out a surprised shriek as she heard the whine of a gun before bullets shot through the doorway, knocking the door of its hinges. Noodle instantly backed away, her guard up and eyes narrowed. Though she was cold, tired and drained she did not let her guard down as the short figure of a girl approached. A gasp escaped her throat as the young girl came into the dim lighting. _

"_Y-you…who are you?" Noodle demanded, her bleeding eye taking in the appearance of the girl. The purple hair, the jade eyes, the smile—it was her but not. _

_Forgetting her momentary shock and surprised, Noodle managed to dodge an array of bullets sent her way as the girl fired round after round of shots from a Smith & Wesson M500. One shot managed to graze the skin on Noodle's already damaged arm causing Noodle to grit her teeth as the pain swept through her, blood starting to drip from the wound. She was panting from exertion but side stepped another array of bullets, this time accompanied with a barrage of kicks and punches she recognized. 'This thing…why does it seem so…familiar?' Her thought was cut-off when a fist connected with her decrepit arm and she cried out in pain as the block took the blunt force of a heavy, little fist. Noodle back stepped as the figure advanced on her, its teeth in a menacing smile. It laughed manically as it sprang forward, one fist raised above her while the other aimed the gun. No longer concerned about hurting the crazy youth, Noodle jumped at it, her foot outstretched; it connected with the crazed girl's abdomen and sent her flying backwards. However, Noodle was not unhurt as she landed on her feet, which seemed to hurt more than ever. _

_Her mind was so focused on the fact that kicking someone had never hurt so much when she heard the creature get up and the distinct cock of a gun, the safety being taken off. She whirled around, glaring at the girl before snarl graced her lips and she leapt with strength she didn't know she still possessed. The older woman tackled the young girl to the ground, punching and screaming as she did so. Moments later she realized the girl was no longer moving but leaking dark, sticky black-brown liquid from a hole in her head. She also seemed to be sparking. "W-what the hell…"_

_The sentence never finished before searing pain shot from her knuckles up to her arm as she realized her fists were extremely bloody and cut up with what looked like metal shards stuck in them. Only then did she look down at the girl beneath her. Horror etched her features as she came to the terrible realization that this was no girl she had tackled but a metal carcass. Olive paint was scratched off as the creature beneath her continued to spark, the smell of machine oil drifting into Noodle's nostrils as the thing twitched and its purple hair caught fire. As it all hit her she leapt back as the android caught fire for a moment before someone emerged from the shadows and threw a bucket of water on it. It sparked one last time, convulsing violently before laying still again. Feeling guilty Noodle backed up against the wall, her head spinning, arm and eye bleeding, body more drained that she'd ever felt. She watched the figure that knelt down next to the android and cradled it with a mix of emotions evident upon its face. _

"_Noodle…wot did 'ey do ta yeh?"_

_She froze, suddenly feeling dizzy. She stepped forward carefully, her body protesting with exhaustion. In a meek voice she whispered, "2D-san…?" Her vision quickly became blurry from blood loss as she saw the figure shoot up and run towards her before she pitched forward into darkness, her entire mind shutting down as the black void enveloped her. _

_*End Flashback*_

Noodle shuddered at the memories as she caressed the android's head again, this time pulling its head back to look into its eyes, which stared emptily ahead. Its unwavering gaze went straight through her and she let the head rest back against its post. Giving it one last rub she closed the door behind her, leaning back and sliding down against it as a couple tears escaped her eyelids. '_How could I hate such a beautifully dangerous image of myself?'_ With the exception of its tastes and creator, she'd be lying if she didn't think it was superficially a beautiful replica when not engaged. It looked just like her minus all the new scars she now sported as a result of 7 years in hell. How she managed to get out she still didn't know. Sighing, she wiped the tears from her cheeks while she glanced around the engine room. It was smelly and dark, holding a sense of the abyss like 2D's eyes. Her heart sank at the thought of the singer. Shutting her eyes she let her head fall back against the door, ignoring the dull thud it made in the silent room where the sound echoed like she'd shot a burst round from the Ithaca shotgun lying a few feet away. She didn't really use guns as it wasn't her style. But her other self did. Her mind did another mental sweep of the past before she stood up, dusting off her pants and wiping her hands on the front of them. She slowly made her way to the lift before pressing the button that led her to 2D's room. She hadn't heard anyone come down so she assumed everyone was still upstairs.

Inside the lift creaked again as it went down one more floor to 2D's room. Memories would have taken her away had she not just reminisced on them as she made her way down the hallway once the lift doors had let her out. At the entrance to his room she paused as she heard music inside; but she knew he hadn't come back down yet. Pushing the door open she stepped inside, glancing about, her eyes connecting directly with the view in front of her of his bed and curtains drawn to cover the window that the whale used to look through. To the right of her was the life size Spiderman figure that looked like its face had been smudged with silly putty and corroded by acid at the same time. There were papers strewn across the floors and walls, and 2D's bed looked like it hadn't been made in years, the pink bed spread half hanging off the mattress. She thought it interesting that his room was pink or peach, she couldn't decide. Regardless pink walls and green carpet did not go together but she wasn't so sure 2D was the one doing all the decorating since Murdoc had bragged about all his accomplishments on creating Plastic Beach in the first place. She pursed her lips at this—she still hadn't received the full story from him. Russel didn't seem to know much. 2D would not talk about it, mostly because she would avoid him like the plague when it came to talking about the past. Not that it seemed like he wanted to either. She was still looking about the room when her eyes landed on a large fan that sat at the foot of 2D's bed. Curious she drifted closer to examine it when she heard the distinct humming of the lift going up then coming down. Panicking, Noodle tried to figure out how to disappear from 2D's room until she heard footsteps heading towards his door. There was no way out.

Blushing like mad she whirled around to continue staring at the fan, ignoring the gasp of surprise that left 2D's mouth when he opened the door and found her standing in his room. She could tell he hadn't moved around much as she didn't hear the soft padding of feet around the room. Steeling herself to act normal, Noodle turned around with a small smile. "Gomen-nasai, 2D-san…I did not mean to intrude. I was just admiring your fan. It is beautiful."

He nodded, brows knitted. "Yeh…suppose it is." She felt a chill run up her spine as butterflies erupted in the pit of her stomach as he came closer to her, stopping to stand right next to her. "It wos yers…dun' yeh remember? I gave it ta yeh fo' Christmas…" He looked somewhat hurt that she did not remember.

"2D-san…I…gomen…I am trying..." Truth be told, some of her past memories were jumbled and she figured that when she'd fallen off the island that she must've hit her head. Frustration welled up inside her; she couldn't control herself as her fists tightened against her own accord. Another tear slipped past her eyelid, trailing slowly down her cheek though she willed it not to. Whirling around abruptly, she began to stalk her way out of 2D's room when she felt his hand catch her wrist. Her body tensed in fright as she realized what he would see should he make her stay. Wrenching her arms away she continued to make her way towards the lift, though the short distance from his room to the lift seemed to long. She was almost there when she felt his grip on her wrist again, this time stronger, more demanding and rough before she was yanked backwards. Feeling her temper rise she jerked away again, 2D's grip, though firm, slipping. She figured it had everything to do with the fact that he was hurt by the action, especially from her. Having wrenched away from him successfully the second time caused Noodle's confidence and determination to grow as she quickly walked to the lift, pressing the button for the Roof. Not once did she glance back even though 2Ds protests had reached her ears. She was focused on getting as far away from him as possible, not caring if it hurt him, not at this point.

Her fear and anger had consumed her in those moments she held special with the blue-haired man. As a result she ran away from him with any excuse she could muster; hid from him in any way she deemed a possibility. Most times she ended up back in "Noodle's Cupboard" with her replica, which held a strange sense of solemn relief. Lately she'd take a liking to it. In fact, she imagined had it been programmed by someone else, perhaps had a different creator, she might have loved it—even a little. Sighing, she waited for the loud elevator to make its way topside passed the balcony with its still missing step to the topmost place of Plastic Beach. As soon as it opened she stepped into the warm sunlight, and she knew it was still summertime, for now. Shielding her eyes with her hand, Noodle leaned over the railing as she listened to the music from the studio. She heard the sound system being manipulated, then brash cursing. _'Murdoc,_' she thought idly as she brushed a few stray strands of hair from her eyes. Below the water rippled peacefully as they floated. She wasn't quire sure how they didn't actually move from their seemingly fixed latitude and longitude. However, she'd learned long ago not to question wonders such as this or even how 2D still managed to function without eyes. Snorting, Noodle slumped further against the railing as she looked down at the palm tress scattered about the plastic structure.

In the distance the lighthouse shined, rays of blinding light bouncing off the glass before reflecting back onto the water. Her mind wandered to the 2 birds who sat at the entrance day after day: a large pelican and a small seagull. They seemed to converse regularly, or at least they seemed to get on each other's nerves a lot. Noodle had been rather observant of them since day one because normal birds were not a commonality at or around Kong Studios. Another sigh. '_God…I miss Kong_,' she mused miserably to herself. Such fluctuations in her mood were absolutely normal, but she did hate them nonetheless. She let her eyes drift to the sky, which had turned an interesting shade of blue. '_Like his hair._'

Grunting to herself in annoyance, she shoved her hand in her pockets to hide their clenching. "Am I pathetic or what? I can't even function properly anymore…" At this she found her thoughts back on Android Noodle. The petite but lanky makeshift replacement did have her guitar skills and had already been pat of the band, Plastic Beach making it official. "If I left…it wouldn't make a difference. The public doesn't know I've returned. I could just leave this hellhole…" As if sensing these thoughts the music below halted sharply, sounding like a screeching banshee. She flinched when seconds later she felt a familiar hum as the lift ascended towards her. Not really interested at guessing who it was, Noodle continued her silent observations of her new home.

"Baby girl…what's botherin ya?"

Glad that it wasn't 2D or Murdoc she turned to him with a small, weak smile. "Russel-sama…I am quite okay, really."

He shook his head. "I've known ya since ya was a lil' girl. Can't fool this man," he replied. "We both know what happened with Muds is all lies."

She nodded. "Hai…but…he is still family. I cannot hate him…no matter what he has done."

"Would ya if ya knew the truth, what happened to 'D, baby girl?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. _'Would I?'_ The whole story of Plastic Beach was fuzzy and unbelievable, at best, to her and Russel. Not to mention Murdoc's story seemed too short and glamorous while 2D's had been practically non-existent. It'd also sounded practiced when he'd said it, like it had been recited. He hadn't even looked at her while telling it. Both he and Murdoc had been rather tense and edgy. The fact that Murdoc hadn't invited Russel to make the album in the first place made Noodle rethink a lot of how she viewed her family from the past to the present. While she loved all of them dearly, she couldn't find it in her heart to be hateful towards Murdoc, even after she'd found out he had arranged for the whole _El Manana_ video to be done the way it was. He had gone to look for her as he'd said—she'd heard enough rumors floating through hell and purgatory. How could she hate him if he had tried to make up for his mistake by looking for her? '_If that's why he did it._' She wasn't exactly sure on the details about why Murdoc had gone looking for her, yet there was a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with her guitar skills. '_Which is why he made Android Noodle_.' While she didn't want to assume anything without the actual story from the main source, she was no idiot. The Gorillaz needed a guitar player after she'd disappeared, one who knew their music and could play it without a problem. '_Hence him collecting my DNA and making…her…_'

She still hadn't been able to figure out what to call the Android. She didn't want to call it by her name at all; therefore she just called it, well, IT. Because giving it her name made it as if she'd never existed or returned, while giving it a name pronounced it human, which it was not. At least this is how she saw things, her logic functioning in this exact way. Nevertheless, as she'd thought before, she did end up spending a lot of time in that cupboard, her back against the doors while she sat in silent solitude with the machine, wondering if it dreamt or anything like that. She'd stare at the wires for hours upon hours at times, her mind boggling over the android as if it was a real girl undergoing hypnotherapy and surgery in their house. But in the end she was always brought back to reality when she'd look around and remember all the machine old cartons and weaponry, all the monitors beeping with the android's status—and their first encounter. At this point she'd get disgusted with herself for being around it so long, mentally fighting with her psyche before standing and slamming the double doors behind her.

One time she'd been there inside the cupboard with her arms crossed over her knees, eyes staring hard at the machine when she'd heard voice echoing around the room. Alarmed, she'd fled behind the android, hiding behind it as she heard Murdoc's voice and sounds like him rummaging through things before a curse. She'd stayed quietly behind it, clutching its shirt for steadiness as the wires fell around her. She was peeking from behind its mass of synthetic purple locks when the door burst open. She shrunk back in front of it as Murdoc continued his rummaging, throwing carton after carton of machine oil around, not caring if it was open or not and, as a result, spilling it all over the carpeting. Noodle's breath was coming in quick, short but quiet pants as she watched him, afraid that he might see her. But he never did. He was making his way back out when he suddenly stopped, turning his glance to the android before throwing a carton of oil at it. The oil carton burst open, slopping all over the machine and the real Noodle, leaving a sticky, shiny black mess all over them. Without another look back he slammed the doors shut.

Noodle had quickly sprung to life again as she wiped the oil off her own silky locks before grabbing a cloth and wiping off the androids head. It didn't seem to have awakened at his, its eyes closed, mouth hanging open slightly while it remained in its power save mode. She wondered, at this, what it would take to wake it up. '_Do I want to?_'

"Baby girl?"

Shaking her head, Noodle was brought crashing back to the present as she looked up at Russel. "Huh…? Oh, Russel-sama…I'm sorry. I was…thinking."

"About what?"

She glanced away again, a sigh escaping her lips. "About…it, about the…android."

Russel had a feeling that, while it was true she'd been thinking about their "fake Noodle" residing in the cupboard under the engine porch, she was referring to much more than just a passing thought. He knew he wanted to press her about the topic since she'd been disappearing quite often as of the late. And he somewhat figured she was hiding in the closet with that thing. But he wasn't sure how to broach such a sensitive issue. Clearly there was something going on with her internally, and it had a lot to do with that machine Murdoc had created. He remember when he'd returned back from a shopping trip one afternoon, she had already been there for a few hours or so, though she'd been bed-ridden with exhaustion and such according to 2D who had been caring for her. However, he himself was more than appalled to see the younger version of her still walking around. When he'd asked Murdoc the bassist had flipped him off and disappeared behind a bookcase near the studio entrance. 2D had later, thankfully, informed him that when the bassist built Plastic Beach he had created himself a secret lair with a couple thousand steps or so. Russel had raised his brows at this but didn't bother to ask the singer any further questions since he'd immediately run back to the kitchen, screaming something about a cold compress for their guitarist. It had been almost 7 years since he'd seen her, the little girl he called Baby Girl. Not waiting for 2D he'd entered the singer's room through the lift and stared down at the figure lying under the pink covers, sleeping soundly.

"_Baby…girl…" he couldn't believe it. This girl—no, this woman—looked almost nothing like the girl they'd lost years ago. Her purple hair was ratty and knotted, splayed everywhere over the sheets. Her arms were bandaged but covered with bruises and crusted blood, light scars running the length from her shoulder to her elbow on both side. He cringed to think about what happened to the rest of her as it was hidden beneath a layer of clothing and 2D's bedspread. Her eyelid was torn with blood caked around it but looking clean otherwise. It seemed 2D had done his best at cleaning her up while their bassist holed himself in his "secret lair." The drummer found he had a million questions for both the cerulean singer and the Satanist, but all that had fled his mind when he'd laid eyes upon Noodle's battered figure under the blankets. He knelt down just as 2D came rushing in with a cold towel and pressed it to her forehead, which Russel now realized was burning hot._

"_She 'as a feva, Russ…doin tha bes' I can," the singer croaked, his voice cracking as he looked at the drummer. _

"_When did she get here, 'D?"_

_With shaking fingers the singer sat back, fidgeting nervously, his black voids darting in every direction. If Russel didn't know better he'd think 2D was just staring straight ahead. "Couple 'ours ago. Righ' when yew lef' ta tha sto' for food…I fink…" _

_The drummer looked down at the young woman again, his eyes taking a long, hard look at her. "Yo 'D…what happened to her?"_

_Whatever nervousness 2D was feeling heightened with a non-healthy dose of anxiety as the singer started grabbing at his hair and pulling harshly. Russel had seen 2D do things like this before when he couldn't explain himself or felt guilty about something. Or was just plain out frustrated. What he didn't expect were the tears that started falling from those black voids. No one even knew 2D could still cry. Russel's rounded white irises widened at the display as the singer suddenly stood and bolted from his room with the excuse of rewetting the washcloth. When the drummer chanced a glanced up he noticed the towel still resting on the woman's forehead. _

"Russel-sama, are you alright?"

He brought his attention back to the young woman staring up at him, her petite hands on his massive arms. Sighing, he shook his head at the memories, willing them to go away. "Yeah, I'm good, girl. Don't worry about me. But you know…it's past lunchtime…you hungry? We can go out, if ya want."

She brightened a little at this, throwing her arms around her father figure. "Oh, yes, Russel-sama! I would love that!" He smiled down at her. "Can we go get sushi? I haven't had sushi since…" She trailed off, her face contorting into pain for a moment before her smile broke out again. "Anyway, can we, please? I would love a dragon roll right now. And some miso!"

He couldn't help but smile at her cheerful face, glad that she was smiling again and had, for the time being, stopped asking questions about the past. It was hard to answer those questions as it was hard enough to even think about everything 2D had endured and everything Murdoc had done to them, to 2D and Russel—to Noodle. Even if Murdoc was afraid for Russel's massive fists, he knew that during his absence 2D must've suffered greatly. With an internal sigh he nodded. "Yeah, baby girl. That sounds great. I'm just gonna go get ready. Meet me at the entrance in ten minutes, aight? We'll go from there."

She nodded enthusiastically, genuinely happy to go out with him and to get away from Plastic Beach. She didn't want to leave 2D all alone by himself with the green skinned man but she felt much worse if she had to pretend around him. For some reason this seemed a direr situation than him being stuck in his room all alone as he had been for years. Pushing the horrible thoughts away she made her way down the overhang of the roof, landing skillfully on the balcony. She looked to the left and saw Murdoc passed out on a beach chair under an umbrella, the bottle of tequila empty in his hand, head lolling from side to side with the music playing on the radio next to him. Shooting him a dirty glare he couldn't see, she jumped over the balcony railing onto the entrance deck, frightening the pelican and seagull into flight. Not caring about any of this, Noodle waited for Russel to appear for their lunch outing. She saw the boat floating by the dock and decided to go get that taken care of before someone—more like 2D—appeared to stop her. She was on her way to the deck when suddenly she caught sight of something in the distance, the sunlight hitting the object and making it shimmer.

Curious, Noodle made her way over to the object. Upon arriving next to it she found a beat-up, dirty old brown suitcase lying in the middle of the peach plastic ground beneath her. Next to it was an old, rusted looking can of what appeared to be gas of some kind. '_Knock-out gas…but why would this…be here?_' She picked up the can and began to examine the suitcase when she heard heavy footfalls behind her. Whipping her head around she came face to face with Russel, whose eyes widened when he caught sight of the can in her hand. She was about to ask him about it when she noticed 2D walking their way. She was about to snap when Russel interrupted.

'Yo, Noodle, 2D said he was hungry. It is aight if he comes, too?"

She blanched; about to shoot him a vicious reply when 2D walked up to say hi, and then froze. She blinked at him in puzzlement but followed his gaze to the suitcase and gas can in her hand. "Wot, wait wotcha…where did yeh get tha' love?"

His voice seemed meek and scared as he pointed at the metal in her grasp. Before she could ask him anything about it he turned tail and ran. Russel scratched his head as she stood up, her face a mask of uncertainty as she stared after the retreating figure of the older man. She bit her lips in sudden anger and resentment. Turning her bitter glare and narrowed eyes at the drummer, she threw the can to the floor and stalked up to him, hands on her hips and eyes burning fire. As quietly as she could, Noodle raised her head to him. Russel felt his blood run cold.

"Russel-sama…tell me what the fuck is going on here."

**TBC**

* * *

_(Okay…it's still kind weird so far, I know! I know! Sorry! However, I threw some Russel in there because he has made a big impact on Noodle as her father/brother figure who she looks up to. Also, not much 2D yet and yes, her obsession with the android is VERY important because I feel like, after so many years, there has to be a deeper examination of how SHE feels about the android. I mean COME ON—it basically replaced her in Plastic Beach. It's going to, hopefully if I can pull it off, get A LOT deeper—not lighter. There will be more 2dxNoodle actions, eventually. But for now, she's still the focus, not her relationship with 2D. ALL Constructive Criticism is welcome. Flames, take a damn hike. But if you must, please send me a message about it. Or if you have A LOT of criticism—since this is my first fic—please send me a message so I can work it out. Thank you for reading. Please review.)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

Thanks to those who reviewed—I will do a dedication page to all of you as soon as possible! My head is filled with Noodle x 2D, right now. Must write it all down!

_A/N: My apologies for taking a little longer people. I was in Viva Las Vegas this past weekend…no time for actually, structured writing. Just my drunken thoughts of 2DxNoodle…lol. Anyhow, here it is, chapter 3, which explains a little bit more, got a couple twists, some predictable, in fact. Eh. It'll get better; I'm going to do my best! Also, I'm really sorry if the accent—writing wise—is way off. I'm out of the loop and don't know how to write them that well. If anyone wants to help or make suggestions for that, I'm open to it. Thanks. Please enjoy._

'_thoughts' _

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Russel made a face as he shook his head in response to her demand. "Baby Girl…I don't think that's a good idea."

Throwing the can and her hands up in the air in defeat, she stomped her way past him towards the entrance, their lunch rendezvous forgotten. "Then I'll ask the source, someone who knows…and he's going to damn well tell me!" She smashed her fist into the door, denting the metal as she stalked past 2D who was smoking a cigarette. When he made to stop her she snapped at him, vehemently. "Not now, STUART!"

"But love, lemme tell ya why I ran off!"

She paused instantly, her eyes boring holes into his as she stared. "Seriously? You're not going to run?"

He nodded. In the distance he could see Russel rooted to his spot, shaking his head. Steeling himself for the onslaught he knew would follow, 2D took another long drag of his cigarette. "Look, Noodle…tha can jus' brought back some bad memories is all. Caught me by surprise, really. No need ta freak out, love, 'onestly."

"Bullshit! What memories, 2D?" Her fists were shaking.

'_Fook…she ain't buyin it_,' he thought. _'Gotta fink of somefink, an' quick!' _He felt the panic sinking in as Noodle's nostrils flared in disbelief. He knew where she'd been headed and knew that Murdoc would be more than dead. Scratching his head to play dumb, 2D smiled at the Asian woman. "Sorry lil love…can' rememba wot I was finkin 'bout…"

"I am so sick of this!" She spat as she whirled back around to her original destination. He gaped at her in genuine shock. It took a few minutes to process what had just happened when it came crashing down on him all at once. Terrified for Murdoc's safety, he lunged for her, knocking them both into the lift, Noodle falling face first into the metal wall. The fact that it was so small inside made the impact that much worse. He heard her whine and curse at this as he rubbed his own head, feeling a migraine coming on. Noodle felt her blood boil as she rounded on the man she loved. "What the fuck was that about? I'm so sick of this, of the lies, of this place, of Murdoc…" She shook with rage. "Of-of YOU!" She pointed an accusatory finger at his chest. "Of your lies, Stuart Pot! Go to hell!"

Noodle yelped as she was shoved against the circular wall of the lift, his face so close to her she actually cringed in fright. He had snapped, she realized. He looked the angriest she'd ever seen him, black eyes murderous, his lips set in a scowl so deep that he looked all the bit as scary as he had been to outsiders. Noodle let out a fearful whimper, turning her head to the side to avoid his gaze. "G-gomen, 2D-san…" she said, weakly. "Please…you're scaring me…" Immediately his presence was gone and she hugged herself with her arms, a choked sob escaping her throat as her actions dawned on her. She chanced a look at him through tearful eyes.

He was looking down at his shoes, blue locks hiding his expression from view. "Noods, I…lil love…yew just…"

She let out another sob at the sound of his voice—it sounded so broken—as the lift stopped and the doors opened. The silence hung between them, thick and unyielding. When he finally brought his eyes to meet hers Noodle felt worse than she had since she'd returned. Giving him one last strangled cry in reply she darted out of the door, disappearing down the stairs into the darkness. 2D could hear the slamming of a door, which broke him from his stupor. '_Tha…engine room? Wot tha bloody 'ell we doin' 'ere…?'_ He could still hear her soft sobs, feeling his heart collapse into itself at the sound. He knew she had been part of the cause but it didn't make him feel any better, especially not with the way she'd cowered in his grasp and quivered in fear at his face. Shaking his head, which only seemed to make his migraine worsen, he began to creep out of the lift as quietly as possible, absently pressing the button to the lift for it to ascend upwards. Silence enveloped him again as the lift left, and he listened. A few moments later he could hear her voice speaking to someone. '_But 'ere ain't no one an' nofink down 'ere 'cept…_' He felt himself halt at the thought. _'No…lil love would neva…_' he stopped dead in his tracks at her words, leaning his ear onto the carpeted floor.

She sniffled. "I should leave…it was a mistake to come back. They have you…and you've proven yourself as good a band member as I used to be. Who needs me now? They don't even have the decency to tell me the truth…and I can't stop hurting him. You've replaced me…you were created to take my place here. None of my feelings matter." 2D wanted to grab her and shake the living daylights out of her, wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that he cared, that while lost and depressed, he had never stopped hoping. "He has you, doesn't he?" Another sniffle. "Stupid Murdoc…"

2D's mind had been a muddle mess of confusion and anxiety at first but at her words he stood up, tears burning his bruised eyelids. '_She…my lil love…loves 'im? She loves Murdoc…?_' He felt his heart clench painfully as she stumbled backwards towards the lift. It didn't seem Noodle had noticed—or maybe she didn't care—as he called the lift. Suddenly feeling more tired than he'd ever felt, the vocalist trudged down the hall to his room once the lift had released him. Plopping on the bed, he reached for his painkillers as the discovery sunk in and his head began to pound ten-fold. Curling into a ball atop his cold mattress, 2D didn't bother to close the blinds that hid the whale from view.

Back in "Noodle's cupboard" the older, real Noodle was still crying, head in her hands, repeating the same phrase to the quietness. She didn't care that the Android didn't acknowledge her, not today. She only wanted to hide, hide from all of them. And she knew they wouldn't come looking for her here; she hated the android. Why would she be with it? Android Noodle's cupboard had become somewhat of a sick, twisted safe haven for her as of the last few months. While she had hated the thing with a passion in the very beginning, she was starting to realize it provided some cache for her. Truth be told she still didn't like it: in fact, she hated that she spent so much time with it. But she couldn't bring herself to stop obsessing over it. At this point she knew she was obsessed with it, possibly even harboring a sickness when it came to the metal machine that had taken her place. Yet she couldn't tear herself away, as if it was sucking all her real soul into itself, ready to awaken and replace her again at any given opportunity. Sighing, she brushed the ridiculous train of thought away, standing up and dusting herself off. Her face felt cracked and dry from the tear stains that littered her cheeks. She knew her hair was tousled, as she'd grabbed it a few times in anxiousness within the confines of her hiding spot. Her limbs and back felt sore from being slammed against the lift by 2D. She paused, her hand still in her hair from scratching, at the thought of her love. '_Why can't I stop hurting him?_'

She couldn't understand why she continually abused him, mentally and verbally. "I'm no better than Murdoc, that slag…" She had fully intended to go talk to him before the interlude with 2D but now all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep the events of the afternoon into a deep, dark oblivion. She sniffled again. "I wish I didn't have to keep sleeping on the couch…" She truly despised the fact that Plastic Beach had been made without her in mind; otherwise, she might have somewhere to sleep, somewhere to hide from all of them when she was angry or upset or hurt. Yawning loudly, Noodle made her way back to the upper reaches of Plastic Beach. After what seemed like an eternity she exited the lift only to find it dark and quiet. Too dark and too quiet. '_How long was I down there?' _She was walking towards the lift again, this time to find 2D when she heard someone snicker.

"Wotcha doin lil lady?"

All the previous tension in her body returned as Noodle turned to face the bassist, her fists automatically curling. "Murdoc-san…so nice to see you back from your drunken heaven," she said, quietly.

"Yes well…love me some tequila straigh' from Mexico, ya know," he replied. Waving his hand at her, Murdoc fished around the couch for the TV remote. "Anyways...where yeh goin so late at night missy?"

"That's none of your business," she spat.

Murdoc looked like he could care less about her attitude as he took another swig of his drink. "Yeh wotever. Jus' don' die in case we need ta make a new album." Noodle's fists were shaking as she used all her strength and willpower to walk away from the green-skinned man. She was almost to the lift when Murdoc muttered something else. "By the way, love…tell face ache ta stop blubberin. S'pissin me off. Can' get me beauty sleep with him cryin' like a bitch."

Without a second thought she stalked up to him and slapped the remote control from his hand. "You leave 2D-san alone, you bastard."

Appalled but angrier than he'd been earlier, Murdoc stood up to his full height, wobbling a bit. "Wot tha fuck is yo' problem, girly? Yeh got a crush on tha' dullard? Fuckin face ache ain't neva' gonna see yeh as anythin more than a lil girl! And yew lot can' date…s'my band, an' I fo'bid it! Yeh betta' not be gettin crazy on me or I'll 'place yeh with tha' android again!"

Extremely hurt by the statement and no longer caring what the outcome was, Noodle slapped the bassist across his cheek, fresh tears spilling from her eyes. "Take it back, you bastard! Take it back! You heartless son of a bitch!"

Murdoc stared at her in surprise, coming out of his drunken haze to see his guitarist weeping before him. "Noodle? Crikey me cheek 'urts…wot the 'ell…love, yew—

"I HATE YOU!" Whipping around, Noodle fled the room, taking the lift all the way up to the roof, leaving Murdoc in a guilty stupor in the middle of the common room. She could hear shouting shortly after as she hung over the balcony, trying hard to stop her tears. They wouldn't cease. Russel's death threats towards Murdoc filtered into her ear and she clapped her hands over them to drown it out. Her body still shook with unexpressed anger and sadness. '_They don't need me…_' she thought as she stared over the dark blue rippling water below, her tears making it all blur together into a mass. Hiccupping, Noodle finally found the energy to release her ears from her hand shield, glad to hear no more shouts or threats. But she heard the lift coming towards her. '_Please…not Murdoc-san, not Russel-san, not—_

"2D-san…" She trailed, truly shocked to find the singer in front of her, another cigarette hanging from his lips, his bruised eyes tired and red-rimmed. She suddenly felt self-conscious, launching into apologies before he could say a word. "2D-san, gomen…my actions and words earlier were not well thought or appropriate. I'm sorry…I did not mean to yell at you…" She squeezed her eyes shut as she waited for him to get angry with her, scold her, anything. She was pleasantly surprised, and very relieved, when she felt his hands ruffling her hair. "2D-san…?"

"S'awright, I fo'give yew, love," he said, eyes dreamy. She knew he had taken his painkillers. "S'nice night ou' in'it?" She nodded; surprised he said nothing about her tears. Joining him, she sidled up to him, their shoulders touching as they had a few nights ago. Noodle suddenly realized she was cold and shivered a bit, glad that 2D's shirt against hers provided a small amount of warmth. "Yew cold, love?"

She nodded. "Hai, 2D-san…but I'll be alright."

"Yew wan' me jacket? I can' really feel tha difference," he said, handing her the coat before she could protest. She took it gratefully before leaning against him again, her tear-stained cheeks stinging but feeling nervous contentment fill her stomach as she inhaled his sweet scent. It seemed as if the events of earlier never happened. She was with the man she loved, even if he didn't know it, enjoying the evening minus Murdoc. She tensed at the thought of what has just transpired. Sighing, she tried to hold it in but 2D interrupted that effort. "Muds is a real ass'ole, yew know, but…yew know 'e didn' mean it though, Noodle."

"He didn't have to say it," she whispered, knowing he hadn't meant it but too caught up in her resentment and bitterness to care about separating the two. "Since when do you stand up for him?"

"I don't. I 'ate him, yew know." 2D took another drag of his cigarette before offering it to her. She accepted it, taking a puff and then handed it back to him. Looking out in the distance, 2D knew what he had to do. He had to tell her the truth but he didn't want her to leave—he didn't want whatever semblance of a family the Gorillaz was, to be torn apart by the horrible truth. He wasn't sure if, now at least, they could work through what had happened over the past 7 to 8 years. Being mature, to him, meant knowing what one had to do, doing it, and accepting the consequences no matter what they were. He wanted to sigh, to be upset about what he'd overheard; but right now she was with him, focused on him and the fact that their shoulders were touching helped put him at some ease. Pushing the thoughts of her words out of his head, he reached over to ruffle her hair again, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Lil love…I fink it's time ta tell yew wot 'appened over the years yew been gone."

She looked up at him, her eyes wide, glistening with fresh, unshed tears. "You…really mean it…?" He nodded again. Noodle found herself feeling just as bad as she had earlier when she'd yelled at him. "I don't know if I want to know now."

He blinked at her. "But love…yew said yew wos needin ta know wot 'appened…s'only righ' if I tell yew." Sighing, he slumped against the railing, letting the cigarette fall to the plastic below. "Yew wos righ' from tha beginnin. Muds and I shoulda told yew tha troof. Guess…we didn' fink tha it'd be so…detrimental ta yew." She laughed as he finished, her trembling shoulders vibrating into his own lanky pair, and unbeknownst to her, filling 2D with a happiness he hadn't felt since her disappearance. "Wot's so funny?"

"You said detrimental…oh 'D-san…I've never heard you use such a big word before this," she giggled more.

2D couldn't help but smile despite the ache in his heart for the young woman he had grown to miss, and in her absence, fall head over heels for. Noodle had always been special to him, ever since she'd jumped out of that Fed-Ex crate. Even so, she'd become more special to him as time progressed. He'd be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive, even if he felt somewhat of a pervert for that. But he'd never been romantically interested in her until after she'd been gone. While he'd never thought of her as a sister in the literal sense, he had always considered the Gorillaz his family—with the exception of her. Their relationship had been defined through albums and her always running to him for everything. They'd helped each other when it came to lyrics, guitar chords and synthesizing his keyboards. She and he shared a special bond, though until a few years ago, when she would've turned 18 years old, 2D didn't quite understand. However, with her here now, in the flesh, and a beautiful young woman at that, 2D knew that things would never be the same. He'd known it the night she'd stumbled into his room, saving him from the replica he'd come to love in a twisted fashion because it was the only connection to her, it was all he had left after Murdoc kidnapped him.

She was still giggling like she had 8 years ago, carefree and happy, while he observed her finer parts. He had missed her terribly. Only now could he see the true change, the scars, and the skinny figure that was slowly becoming healthier. Her olive skin was still beautiful but now marred by faint scars running the length of her arms on both sides; legs with scratches and gashes deep enough to leave blemishes; and bruises and cuts that would never fade. Yet 2D thought she was endlessly magnificent with her shiny purple locks, now longer than he'd ever seen them; her figure more full and curvier, but not overly done as she was rather tomboyish. He didn't care that her eyelid was somewhat uneven due to it being torn when they'd been reunited. He didn't care about the scars, the difference in her personality, the change—he loved her. '_But she loves Muds…_' he grunted at the image of his happiness shattered by the thought of the Satanist, hating him for everything but not enough to walk away. Even if Murdoc had paid that whale to keep him trapped, 2D was no longer a doormat when it came to their leader. He had plenty of moments where he stood up to Murdoc. But ever since Plastic Beach's release in the years past, he hadn't seen the point of ever going near the man if it wasn't necessary. All he could think about was her, hoping she'd return to them someday.

It had been a tremendous relief and joy to find Russel had made it back safe, also his normal size. He'd been so amped with hope that Noodle might be with their drummer that the disappointment put him in his room for almost a year, and bed-ridden for half of it. His legs had been practically Jell-O when he'd tried to walk again. It had taken all of Russel's strength and patience to help him out, which he was grateful for but found that he'd rather stay bed-ridden as the years ticked by until she finally found them. When she'd first walked through the door he couldn't believe it was her, he hadn't. As soon as the Android attacked he knew otherwise. Letting his mind return to the present he glanced down at her. Noodle's laughing fit had subsided and she was now resting her head on his shoulder, staring straight ahead. It felt like the perfect moment to tell her, to let her know everything that had been swirling around his supposedly empty head, everything that had been jumping in his heart trying to escape his throat. She looked so peaceful, the moonlight bouncing off the dried wetness upon her cheeks.

He couldn't do it—not because he was a coward, no, that wasn't it. He couldn't do it because he didn't know if it would end up hurting her in the long run. Contrary to popular opinion Stuart Pot was no empty headed fool, not at all. '_But I'm sho one fool in love._' The ache in his heart returned and it took everything in his power not to let it show, lest he upset the woman next to him, who was currently snuggling further into his jacket. He felt the soft nuzzle of her nose on his shoulder bones and wished that she thought of him as more than a brother or friend, as more than a band mate; as a man, would be the best option. Sadness placed his face as he leaned into her as well, returning the mutual expression of comfort, stealing whatever he could get from her. She didn't seem irked by the fact that he was returning her affection, however small it was in magnitude. She seemed to be enjoying it and he wondered if that meant she didn't actually like Murdoc, that way. '_But I doub' she finks of me tha' way.'_ Regardless of whether she fancied the sadistic, womanizing brit didn't mean that she liked him any better. And all he could think about was if she was attracted to him, even a little. '_I 'ope she…could be._' He was riding on that. But for now he would do what needed to be done. And that was telling her the truth. If she stuck around after that then maybe, just maybe, they could get somewhere. The important thing was not to express his undying love and pledge to be with her forever. '_Tha'd be completely unrealistic fo' me, I fink_.'

Even a thought such as the one that had just gone through his head seemed ludicrous in reality just as much as it was in theory. Expressing his undying love after so many years, without any deserved explanation of events during her absence, felt like a betrayal and injustice to her brilliant, young mind. He suddenly rubbed her head affectionately, his eyes wandering back to her face, which now appeared calm as she leaned against him and hugged the coat to her fragile body. He could see the contours of her face, the smooth skin, somewhat scarred in places he hadn't noticed even after her return. It wasn't that he held her on a pedestal because that would be unfair, discrediting to her beauty and grace. But Noodle had a rugged side and when she returned, it began to show, little by little. This side had nothing to do with her being the renowned Axe Princess, the military designed, manufactured weapon of mass destruction. Those components did not cross into 2D's train of thought when he pondered the woman Noodle had become in all their absence. This woman, the one he was observing as she cuddled against him, was someone he had recognized upon her return; but someone he didn't know anymore. She was someone he still loved in spite of the changes and atrocities committed upon her. She was nothing short of a goddess in his eyes; and yet holding her to such a high standard made him feel guilty of that pedestal. She was imperfection in a glass, one he wanted to drink from for the rest of his life. Another dreamy smile placed his lips as he fell deeper into his train of thought, worshipping her in a ring-around way that made him warm inside, not from his painkillers.

"2D-san?"

Her voice pierced his thoughts so abruptly that he actually jumped away from her in surprise. She gave him a curious stare while he fumbled for an explanation. "Oh, I wos…yeh know…jus' finkin 'bout some fings, is all."

"You were awfully deep in thought, 2D-san. I'm sorry to have interrupted you. Is there…anything you'd like to talk about?" Noodle's jade eyes were open in genuine concern, one hand holding the jacket tightly about her, the other on his arm comfortingly. She was worried about him. He'd been so out of it since he'd exited the lift. As for his usual behavior, aside from it being tinged with a melancholy air, was rather disjointed. He didn't seem altogether, or even distant. He was just fragmented to her, in more than just appearance or feelings. His entire being was like a hollow shell, his soul drifting somewhere, his thoughts elsewhere, his feelings in an abyss she couldn't seem to pull him out of no matter how hard she tried. And telling him her feelings was made that much harder by the fact that he didn't seem connected to the world around them. When he said nothing further Noodle turned her gaze back to the ocean below, the moonlight bouncing off the rippling water and giving it a dark inky glow that she loved. Leaning over the rail with another sigh as 2D remained quiet, she hunched her shoulders at the thought of not being able to ever tell 2D her feelings. In a sense she knew that wasn't what was most important at the time, and it would have to wait even if there was pain as a result. "If you don't feel like it…I'll understand."

"S'not tha' love. I'm jus' tryin ta figure out 'ow ta start this story, yew know? S'hard ta jus'…jump righ' into it," he replied quietly, concentrated on her face. Noodle blushed as the scrutiny in which he stared at her caused tingles to run through her body. 2D didn't notice as he lit another cigarette. The embers burned brightly, somewhat illuminating the area around his lips as he smoked. She blushed again, this time turning her face to the side as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Wot…do yew want ta know, Noodle? I'll do me best ta' explain it betta."

She pondered this, her blush forgotten as all her thoughts refocused on her questions. She felt like it would turn into an interrogation but knew there really was no other way around it. She chewed on her lip a little as she tried to figure out the best question to ask. "What happened?"

He let out a chuckle, which turned into a cough when he forgot to exhale the smoke from his lips. "S'not really…specific now, is it? Wot happened can refer to anyfink, can' it, love?"

Biting her lip, she nodded. "Hai, 2D-san…that's true. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. How did Plastic Beach…come about?"

"No need ta 'pologize, love." He inhaled again, his black eyes narrowing a bit as if to signify he was thinking about her question. "I wos kidnapped by ol' Muds o'er there. Gassed me; yew saw tha bottle. Packed me up in a suitcase, 'e did, and brough' me 'ere ta sing for 'is new album."

"Why didn't you fight back?" She asked, slight aggravation mounting within her. He shrugged and she began to rub her temples. "But 2D-san…Murdoc-san has always been…mean. But you were less afraid of him the last time we were…" she paused, uncomfortable. "together. Why did you not…do something in return?"

"Well, love…tha's cos 'e tortured me this time 'round."

Aghast, Noodle couldn't control her hands as they flew up to cover her mouth, eyes horror-filled and wide as she shook her head like she couldn't believe it. No, wouldn't. Didn't want to. Tears sprang to her eyelids at the thought of what had truly happened to him. Only then did she allow her eyes to wander the length of his body, noticing slight scars on his arms and a haunted look in his eyes she didn't recall seeing before she'd asked her question. "2D-san…I didn't mean to bring it up again….please…forgive me."

"Yew said yew wanted tha' troof Noodle. I'm telling yeh cos yew deserve ta know," he answered quietly, his cigarette still burning as he inhaled again, this time scowling though not directly at her. "Wot else yew wanna know?"

Fighting back her tears, Noodle pressed on with her interrogation. "What…what was it like, working with…that thing?"

"With the android?" She nodded. He looked thoughtful again. "It wos like workin wit' a machine, lil love. Tha' fink would spark and smell up tha place wit' all its oil. And it wos downrigh' nasty, too. Obeyed everyfink Murdoc told it to do, damn fink. Kept me cooped up in me room fo' 'ours…when tha damned whale decided ta leave. I 'ate whales, I really do."

Noodle didn't have to pretend to hold back a giggle. She felt far from laughing despite the lightness 2D tried to add to the dampened mood. Her eyes were burning now, her fingers itching to punch Murdoc in the face as she listened to 2D inhale more nicotine into his already damaged lungs. She couldn't deal with it. "No more, 2D-san," she whispered quietly. He glanced down at her, curious but respectful. "No more for tonight…please. I am tired." Her slender hand wove its way through his arm, linking them together as she looked up at him, jade eyes sleepy and bloodshot from so much crying before he came to see her. Her mind was fatigued from all the information, thought little of an amount it was in actuality, as the heaviness of the past weight on her. Falling against him, Noodle felt surprisingly pathetic in that moment. She wasn't being dramatic, as her memories from hell began to resurface; but she didn't want to deal with any of it, not now. Murdoc's words came flying back to her mind and she clutched 2D's arm forcefully as he ushered them into the lift where they descended down into the darkness of 2D's solitary floor. She felt treacherous as 2D led her to his room, gently helping her into his bed while pulling the covers over her. He didn't climb in after her, though if he had, he doubted she would've noticed, so busy was her body being wracked with inexplicable sobs. He could feel her hard trembles as he let his back rest against the side, listening to her muffled sobs as she ignored him. He wasn't sure what had just transpired but he had a feeling that it involved him, Murdoc and the past. It was all he could think of as her reasons for becoming so upset, so tired as it had been all they'd discussed in the past hour. Head in his hands and stressed out from just the small amount of truth he'd revealed, 2D attempted to prepare himself for what would happen next. He already knew that there was more to tell, more that she'd eventually inquire about in the future.

"2D-san…can you tuck me in, please?"

The request would've been completely normal from the old Noodle and normal for the old Stuart Pot. However, now, as he looked at her, 2D felt disgusted as he stood up and walked away from her, his hand on the door as he paused to give her a melancholy smile before closing it behind him. Inside, Noodle's tears spilled over as she hugged her knees to her chest, hurt and confused by his actions. When she was younger she would make such a request often, and he would never disappoint her with his easy compliance. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't do it now. Her heart ached as she rolled over, head buried in the pillow as she tried to ignore the anguish coursing through her veins at his refusal. Outside the door, 2D did his best to ignore her sobs, did his best to ease the ache in his heart as it clenched angrily. Lighting up another cigarette, 2D slid down against the hardwood, shoulders hunched as he felt another migraine surfacing. Pulling at his blue spikes, the vocalist cursed himself as he heard a particularly loud pitched heave from the woman behind the door. '_Shit…this is shit…_'

Inside, Noodle could feel her tired mind begin to lose focus and slowly start to enter the world of sleep. After what seemed like an hour or so 2D finally re-entered his abode to find the young woman sleeping, cheeks stained from her tears. Falling to his knees before the side of his bed, 2D stared at her. How he wanted to reach out to touch her, to claim any part of her before she could slip away from his grasp again. But he kept his hands to himself, his body tortured as he listened to her even breathing, eventually falling into an uncomfortable, fitful sleep on his own floor. Outside, the whale stared at them.

**TBC**

* * *

_(OMG, can't believe it's updated again! One of my reviewers mentioned that Noodle's obsession with the Android is scary. Yes, it's supposed to be. She's not quite well. The Android is not helping. It's a darker side of Noodle, a sick side because later on it will have a lot to do with what happened to her in hell. And 2D is brave people, he is. But as someone who thought he lost the love of his life…yeah, he's not well adjusted. And no, I DON'T hate Murdoc. He rocks, sadistic as he is—so don't worry, this isn't a Muds hating fic. And Russel…how can you NOT love him? He is so cool, like a big brother. Well, Hope you enjoyed this chapter. 4 is on its way! Please R&R. Thanks to all who did. You rock my world!)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: Sorry this took a while. It took longer than I expected, too. But I think that has to do with the fact that some people were not satisfied with 2D's reaction, or the amount of darkness in this fic. I apologize, and I'm sorry if you are not pleased and do not like it. However, there will be more pleasant times but the Gorillaz need to get out all the shit, if you will. That was just the beginning. There will be more about Noodle's time in hell and 2D's memories with Murdoc. And Russel's alone time, too. Though the focus is Noodle, then Noodle x 2D, I am still going to try and incorporate all of them. They all play a vital role. So…hope that helps. If not, I'll try to do a better job…I'm still kinda bummed about Coachella and the Live Rehearsal in LA so…yeah, bear with me, thanks.._

'_thoughts' _

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_Waiting in my room and I lock the door  
I watch the colored animals across the floor  
And I'm looking from a distance  
And I'm listening to the whispers  
And oh it ain't the same, when your falling out of feeling and your  
Falling in and caught again_

~To Binge feat. Little Dragon

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Noodle was awakened by the sultry sound of 2D's voice as it swirled around her head, drifting in and out of her subconscious. Snuggling further into the warmth of the covers encasing her body, she ignored the other voice in her head demanding she get up. Her eyes remained closed as the lyrics wove themselves into her being, her hair, her ears, and her bloodstream, everywhere. Something about her surroundings felt familiarly delicious, the lyrics soothing her though the melody itself was anything but soft. She wasn't sure if she was dreaming or if he was really singing but regardless she knew that it calmed her, causing her to feel sleepier. Sighing to herself, she rolled over to block eyes with her arms, somewhat alarmed that no rays of warm sunlight had filtered in yet. It only took a moment for her to realize that she wasn't on the couch and the lyrics penetrating her sleep were not just a CD. He was actually singing from inside his bathroom. Bolting up, Noodle found she was not on the couch but in his bed. He was visible from the crack of his bathroom door; Noodle felt like a voyeur as she watched. She could make out slivers of skin through the crack, pale against his spiked blue hair, which looked wet. '_Uh…wet?_' She blushed hard when it dawned on her that he had been showering, and was probably dressing as she stared like the drooling teenage girl that she'd never been. Not one to miss opportunities when presented to her in such as blatant fashion, Noodle took the time to further observe her band mate. Her appreciation grew as she took him all in from the superficial standpoint, mostly. Some part of her wished she knew what he'd looked like before they'd met; but she wasn't sure it would've been a good idea despite that existing desire. Stuart Pot was definitely not the most handsome men, presently. The black eyes tended to scare people, the pale skin contrasted heavily with his strange blue locks and missing teeth.

To any woman on the street who didn't know about the Gorillaz, she imagined he would have been someone they'd look past. He would, probably, not be given a chance based on looks or intelligence. Superficially, he was damaged on their first acquaintance, and Noodle could remember how she'd felt the first time she'd set her eyes upon him. But to Noodle, there was something about him that didn't faze her this way. She'd like to blame it on the fact that she knew him better than any other woman ever would. She adored the abyss his eyes had become, the pale skin that made him somewhat ghostlike, the blue spikes that made him different from everyone else. While she wasn't particularly fond of 2D's missing teeth she didn't seem too bothered by this as it made him unique in his overall appearance; it made him goofy. She loved that about him. But her appreciative observation was short lived as she noticed the burn marks, which were fading but still visible, on his arms. His side was bruised and battered a bit, making Noodle wonder what he had been doing while she slept since the injuries looked fresh—mostly yellow in color. For a second she'd thought Murdoc had done this but since they seemed too recent she figured they were either self-inflicted. Or still Murdoc. However, after last night she decided that Murdoc would probably stay away from 2D for a while, at least while she was around. He was drunk last night, she knew, which deterred her from beating his face in until it bled. '_Well, and 2D stopping me_,' Her thought was interrupted when 2D poked his head from inside the bathroom, his blue spikes semi-dry but still flopping about his head in a way that made Noodle's stomach tingle.

"G'mornin, Noodle. Yew ready fo' some breakfast?"

She nodded, forcing her blush down as he walked out in a pair of pants. It wasn't like she'd never seen 2D shirtless before this. Of course, it'd been when she was younger than 22 and capable of truly admiring a grown man's body parts. Suffice it to say, Noodle stood up and turned her back to him immediately while he rummaged around for a shit to put over himself. She stayed quiet as he found one, slipped it on and returned his gaze to her back. He cringed at the sight of her shoulder blades through her tank top; the bones protruded ever so slightly, making her look like someone who hadn't eaten in some time. Scratching his head to get rid of the image of her sickly state, 2D gently pushed her towards the door. She tensed at this and he stopped, thinking he had upset her.

"Um…sorry, love. Didn' mean ta…bother yew. Jus' looked like yew migh' need some encouragement."

Again Noodle looked at him, a giggle breaking free from her lips. "Yes…thank you, 2D-san. I am hungry. What should we have?"

He squinted; his eyes narrowed in mock concentration. "I could ask Russ ta make some pancakes 'specially fo' yew. O' maybe some waffles…'ow's that sound?"

She smiled enthusiastically, the scar across her right cheek stretching faintly on her olive colored skin. He noticed it but couldn't help admire the blemish. "Hai! That would be perfect!" Yet she paused when they reached the lift, whirling around to face 2D with discomfort in her eyes. "But what about…Murdoc-san? I am angry with him but I know he didn't mean it…and Russel-san will be so concerned about it…I just cause trouble…"

He didn't give her a chance to elaborate on her terrible train of thought as he caught her chin between his fingers, shaking his head at her with a smile on his lips, teeth and all. "Love, tha's enough. Yew don' cos trouble, no matter wot yew fink, got it?" She nodded slowly, unsure. He gently kissed her forehead in reassurance and Noodle's heart leapt in her chest at the gesture. "Now, 'ow abou' we get yew them waffles from Russ?"

Again, Noodle complied, allowing 2D to lead her into the lift that would take them up to two people she wasn't quite ready to face. '_I wish that damn android was here.'_ Gasping, Noodle felt like smacking herself in the face at the thought. She shook it away as they exited the lift, 2D leading her the entire way to the kitchen where upon entering, they instantly found Russel cooking. Murdoc was slumped over with his head resting in his arms on the table, a glass sitting resolutely by his left elbow. His complexion looked greener than usual, which was saying something with how sick the man looked on a daily basis. Noodle felt a little sorry for him until she glanced over at 2D, who was speaking animatedly with Russel. The burn marks became visible when he turned around and stretched lazily, and Noodle suddenly hated Murdoc all over again. Remembering 2D's confession about Murdoc's torture made the anger and hate well up inside where it then threatened to spill forth from her lips into a mass of fists that would storm the bassist's face. Eye twitching, Noodle abruptly left the kitchen area, hands shaking as she made her way back towards the entrance of Plastic Beach in an attempt to not hurt their fearless leader. Once outside in the open air Noodle descended the stairs down towards the docks past the suitcase, which had not been moved even after the incident.

She couldn't understand why 2D was still hanging around after everything that had happened to him. She would've liked to deck Murdoc until tomorrow, until all his teeth were missing like 2D's, until his different colored eyes were broken and empty like 2D's, until no one wanted to screw him. She snorted. '_Like that'd ever happen. He's part of the Gorillaz. People will want to screw him until the end of time, that sick fuck_.' She knew this to be true because people screwed him now. _'And women have wanted to screw 2D even though he's scary…_' she cringed at that thought, upset at even thinking about the women 2D had slept with over the years. Despite the fact that she loved him, she knew he had to get satisfaction somewhere since it wasn't like she was even a thought back then, not that way. '_Not that I am now either…_' Grunting in annoyance at where her thoughts were circling, Noodle figured she'd make her way towards the lighthouse. The sun was reflecting off the dark windows in a way that made it impossible to see what was actually inside, let alone to see if anyone was standing behind its darkened surface. She rather enjoyed this as she wandered up behind the tinted glass panes, her eyes staring to the outside in quiet observation. It was medium sized lighthouse, one that didn't seem to have a real light but she knew it must in order to stay out in the sea. Murdoc was an asshole but he wasn't completely incompetent or stupid. '_He managed to get 2D and the rest of us to stay a band, as much as I hate to admit it._' Sickened, she went back to her observation of Plastic Beach from the angle inside of the lighthouse. She knew that while everything was still fresh in her mind she could not stand to be around Murdoc. However, if 2D forgave the sadistic jerk, she wasn't quite sure he had, then, eventually she could and would. Just not yet. She needed to have the freedom to be angry about all that had occurred, all the wrongs done to her and her family by the very people within it.

"Lil love, yew out 'ere?" She ducked into the silence of the lighthouse as she saw 2D wandering around below, his blue spikes smashed beneath a visor she found all too familiar. The tag with the red first-aid cross flapped as he turned his head from side to side in search of the young woman. Wincing as she heard his footsteps coming closer to her haven, Noodle could only shrink further into its shadows as she listened to his boots on the ladder before his head popped into view through the opening. "Oh, 'ere yew are love. Been callin yew. Russ finished yo' pancakes an' waffles. Yew 'ungry, ain't cha?"

Not able to deny the sudden angry grumbling of her stomach she nodded and took his hand as he led her towards the entrance to their home for a hearty breakfast prepared specially for her. This time upon entering she noticed Murdoc was now awake but he wouldn't look at her. Whether it was from guilt or genuine indifference, Noodle pondered her decision to come back into the room in the first place. For his part 2D was happily clueless eating his food as Russel set her plate in front of her. She completely ignored Murdoc, choosing to eat slowly and quietly across from them while she thought about everything. It didn't seem as though the Satanist even acknowledged any of them as he drank small sips from his nasty looking beverage. It smelled like tar to the guitarist; she made a gagging face every time he took a drink. Russel shook his head, going back to serving his own massive plate to consume before the events of the day decided to unfold. They were supposed to be clearing out one of the lower rooms for Noodle to live in since she'd complained about not liking the couch too much, especially when people did not want to go to bed. It was a major inconvenience to everyone who wanted to watch television or to her when she wanted to be alone with her, lately, morbid thoughts.

Kicking the table legs underneath her with lithe feet, Noodle rested her head on her hand and stared out the windows of Plastic Beach. She knew that they were clearing out a room beneath 2D's, which confirmed her questions of whether or not there were levels below his room. She had seen the buttons on the lift, and she had wondered about the lower floors before; but she wasn't seriously sure they existed. Carefully, she maneuvered her way around the labyrinth of her thoughts in order to end up at the exit, her mind coming to a screeching halt when she realized Murdoc was looking straight at her. Feeling self conscious at the action caused her to pause in the middle of chewing, barely noticing after a few minutes that 2D and Russel were looking at her, too. Blushing red to the roots of her shining purple locks Noodle scowled, which was unlike her.

"What are you all staring at?"

2D and Russel said nothing; but Murdoc shook his head. "I'm sorry 'bout last nigh' love. Wos drunk...no real 'scuse, Noodle."

She gasped audibly at his apology. '_No, not yet, not yet dammit!_' She shoved her chair back forcefully, the scraping wood on the floor startling all of them from their silent stupor. "You're not forgiven," she hissed icily, fingers clenching the chair top so hard her knuckles were white and the chair was shaking. 2D, Russel and Murdoc looked stunned back into silence while she fumed. "It is not so easy to gain my forgiveness after what you have done, Murdoc-san." Her voice was deadly quiet as she continued to her shocked audience. "After you excluded Russel from making Plastic Beach, leaving me to die on that godforsaken windmill…and kidnapping, plus torturing, 2D-san for your own selfish purposes to promote this last album…no, I cannot forgive you. If there was ever a despicable human being on the earth, that breathed and wreaked havoc over the poor people of this world, it's you!" She pointed an accusing finger at him, which Murdoc did not care to look at, instead taking another sip from his tar smelling drink. Maliciously, Noodle reached over and slapped the drink from his hand where it tipped over to spill over the edge of the table. "Enjoy your hangover, bastard."

With that said she stomped out of the kitchen, her breakfast forgotten on the table and only the soft padding of her feet heard as disappeared into the lift. All three men could hear faint whining as it moved, its destination unknown, ascending or descending also unknown.

"What, so none y'all gonna go after her?"

Murdoc shook his head. "Fuck it…ain't wasting meh breath on 'er baby ass…" The green skinned man looked up cautiously through his hangover haze when the cracking of Russel's knuckles echoed in the mostly quiet room. "Wot? I 'pologized, Lards. S'not meh fault she's blubberin."

"Damn sho s'yo fault, yew ass'ole," 2D said, his voice firm but low. He wasn't really afraid of Murdoc anymore but he didn't like confrontation.

Even through his hangover Murdoc still managed to have enough energy and strength to beat up on 2D. Grabbing the singer's collar he raised his fist in the air. "Yew, fuckin dullard, wosn't supposed to tell 'er abou' all tha' shit. Yew wos supposed to keep e'rythin tha' 'appened a secret!"

"I couldn' lie to 'er like yew, Muds! She deserved ta know wot 'appened!" 2D defended. When Murdoc made to bring his fist down 2D forcefully shoved his burning cigarette into the older man's arm, smirking nastily when Murdoc wailed in pain. "Fook yew, Muds. Noodle ain't property, and she ain't yo plaything to use and abuse when yew see fit."

"Why yew…fuckin face ache…Yeh gonna pay fo' tha!" Murdoc lunged at the vocalist, his mismatched eyes furious until a strong arm pulled him back, throwing him onto the couch before he could inflict any harm on the lanky, blue haired man. "Lards, fuck off!"

"No man, you shut up. I'm tired of dealin with this shit. Baby girl ain't no idiot. And she ain't okay. Somethin ain't right with her, aight? You two skull heads can't get yo head out yo asses to even notice!" Russel shouted. As someone strong enough to break both his band mates' necks, the drummer tended to try and keep his temper at bay. When he'd returned he wasn't surprised to find that some things hadn't changed. However, with Noodle in her current state of instability Russel knew that something had to be done. Murdoc and 2D fighting made it worse, not to mention that Murdoc drinking so heavily didn't help. It just made him into a slimy git. Shaking his head angrily, Russel pointed a finger at their bassist. "Man, you best get yo shit together fo tha sake of baby girl and this family." Murdoc grumbled. "And you," he said, pointing at 2D whose eyes were narrowed, arms crossed against his chest. "D, you best be keeping yo shit with this cracka ass from upsetting baby girl. I ain't gonna stop from breakin yo limbs next time."

2D flailed at him, his eyes suddenly widening. "I would neva 'urt 'er, Russ, yew know tha' and I know tha' and—"

His sentence was cut-off when they heard the lift again, this time ascending. All were shocked again when Noodle stomped from the lift back towards where they were all seated. However, no one had time to react as she ripped 2D away from the gathering, her grip like iron as she took him with her to the lift. The door closed quickly and it descended down, leaving Murdoc to gape while Russel could only stare after them in complete, confused surprise. There were a few more moments of silence until Russel turned his head to Murdoc, who was still fuming on the couch though quietly.

"Yo, Muds…"

"Wot is it, yew fat lard bucket?"

"You don't think that baby girl and D are…"

"Tha' lot can' date! I already told tha' girl tha' face ache won't see 'er as anything more than a lil girl. And it's my band," he answered grumpily. "So shut yer face, Lards, fo' I make yeh."

Russel rolled his eyes. "Like you could, Muds, ya skinny ass."

Meanwhile, once the creaking metal contraption hit 2D's floor Noodle dragged him down the hall, and into his room where she promptly pushed him back until his legs hit his bed. He fell, gracelessly onto his mattress, stuttering and cussing the entire way until he noticed her shadow towering above him. He flinched when he determined that Noodle was extremely upset about the entire situation even if part of him was glad that he'd burned Murdoc's arm with his cigarette as a result of the young woman's outburst.

"Lil love, wot tha 'ell wos all tha' 'bout?"

Jabbing a finger at his chest as tears threatened to spill over her swollen eyelids, Noodle began to shout at him, angrily. "The truth, 2D. Tell me the truth. How could you be so cavalier about what he did to us, to you?" She was incredulous as she began to pace back and forth before him, which made 2D's head hurt as he watched her. "He kidnapped you and tortured you. How can you be so damn casual about what he's done to you? He hurt you, betrayed our trust, used you, my god, he used you, 2D. HE FUCKING TORTURED YOU!" Her sudden outburst caused him to jump a little as she whirled around on him again, her hands on his shoulders, shaking him. The migraine that was building in his head heightened as she did this, and he suddenly felt nauseous from the movements. Pushing her away he stumbled to find his painkillers; but she did not back down. Stopping him mid-stride yanked him back, steadying him when it seemed he might fall. "Stop avoiding me. Stop holding it back. Stop trying to numb the pain. I'm here. Talk to me, please, talk to me 2D. Please, I'm…I'm begging you." When he didn't seem to fully acknowledge this, his hands still fumbling for his pills, Noodle lost it. Grabbing his face, she made him look at her with those endless eyes that made her heart melt in an instant. "Please…stop trying to protect him!"

Realizing that something was terribly wrong, which, technically, he had already known, 2D grabbed her roughly. She gasped when his arms enfolded her securely as her tears spilled over like a broken dam, one that she'd been maintaining for a few moments. But as her body shook in his arms 2D found that this trembling couldn't be the result of his confessions or the truth that had been revealed the previous night, as harsh as it had been to learn. He knew Noodle must have been crying about something else. Chancing this, he rubbed her bony shoulders affectionately, trying desperately to get a good look at her face. She was sniffling, her head bowed into his chest as she mumbled incoherently.

"Wots tha' love?" He inquired, abyssal eyes concerned. She muttered. "Lil love, I can' 'elp yew if yew don' talk ta me."

"I'm…I'm remembering…" she shivered even though the air in his room was warmer than usual. "I wish I didn't…why can't I forget that place?"

"Wot place?" He had the feeling he knew what place she was referring to but decided to ask.

Shuddering, Noodle curled her thin fingers around his t-shirt, the smell of smoke overwhelming her senses as she tried to forget the images that attacked her brain. They pursued her incessantly, battering her skull until she released a cry of anguish, shoving 2D away from her as she turned away, tremors wracking her small frame. He could only stare at her in uncertain surprise while she began a rampage of sorts. It wasn't that she didn't express herself openly, but she'd been the type to keep it together no matter what. Mostly. Nonetheless, 2D found this woman to be a wreck, one he was unfamiliar with and wasn't sure how to handle. He could only watch helplessly as she raged about his room, her fist smashing into the walls anywhere she could put them, her fingers ripping apart his things, tearing everything in her way to unrecognizable pieces. 2D stood back and leaned against his wall. In all his years of knowing her and learning about people 2D had come to one conclusion; it was healthy for people to release their anger. He'd had plenty of time, when she'd been gone, to discover these concepts, to come to terms with who he was and how he fit into Murdoc's life. He was somewhat ashamed that he hadn't abandoned Murdoc after so many years. That wasn't to say he sure as hell hadn't tried during that time—he'd done everything in his power to get away. But when Russel returned he didn't see as much of a point. Russel was family, as was Murdoc, whether he liked to admit it or not. In a way, he knew, it was similar to codependency in real families. Sighing, 2D waited until Noodle had torn his pillow to shreds before approaching her. When she didn't appear to have heard him, he stepped back again to let her continue. Until she reached for the fan against his wall. She made a grab for it, her rage blinding her.

Jumping to attention 2D grabbed her wrists, twisting them to end her furious, destructive rampage before she could destroy the one thing that kept him connected to her in her absence. "Enough, lil love."

She still hadn't appeared to have heard him this time, either, as she snarled at him, throwing him off despite the ache in her wrists. She made a dash for the fan again but as before, 2D was there, this time roughly getting hold of her shoulders and shaking them until she stopped spitting at him like a feral cat. Stopping dead in her tracks, it dawned on her that she wasn't afraid of Plastic Beach, 2D, Russel or Murdoc—she was afraid of herself. Glaring at her hands as 2D kept his on her shoulders, Noodle found that she was afraid of who she had become over the years. '_No wonder I'm obsessed with that damn Android_.' Fighting back a fresh batch of tears the young woman glanced around her friend's room, appalled at what she'd done. Embarrassment was an understatement to what she felt as she looked at the warzone 2D's room had become at her hands. Only a minute later did she smell the rusty scent of blood, which caused her eyes to dart towards her fists. There was a dull throb in each of them that sprang back to life when she saw the carnelian stains that littered her cut up knuckles.

"Let's get tha' cleaned up for yew, Noods," 2D replied quietly as she stood, numbly, in place.

She heard him digging around in his bathroom in search of a first aid kit. A lone tear escaped her eyelid as her cheeks burned like red hot fire—she'd pretty much razed his room to the bloody ground with her anger and hate. '_I'm so…disgusting_.' She was so wrapped up in her negative thought process that she hadn't noticed 2D return until she felt stinging on her knuckles. Hissing from the alcohol pads on her skin, Noodle shut her eyes to shield her emotions from 2D as she made to apologize for what she'd done. He was quiet as he worked, only his even breathing filling the silent room. It was times like this that Noodle wished for his boom box to work. A quick check to the left made her see that she'd destroyed it with a hammer that happened to be sitting in the room during her tirade. Flinching, though not from the gauze being applied to her hands, she hung her head in shame at what she'd done. Of all the ways to get the day started she'd never thought it would be with some blood and tears, or a tsunami of Japanese fury.

"Now I see why 'ey call yew tha Axe Princess, lil love."

"How…how can you be so…okay with this?" She whispered to him, her voice full of fright and shame.

2D shrugged. "Suppose it's cos I'm older. When yew're older, yew don' get mad 'bout much, I guess."

"Or about the things you should," she spat. If 2D was offended he hid it well. Angry that she couldn't seem to illicit any emotion from him, other than nonchalance, made her break into action. Snatching her half bandaged knuckles away from her friend, Noodle backed away from him, her stare accusatory. "Cut the bullshit, 2D. I don't want your help if you're going to pretend like none of this matter. I destroyed your room. Murdoc practically destroyed your freedom. I don't want to be a part of what's going to….destroy you. If this is how it's going to be…I'd rather disappear again." As the words left her mouth she regretted them. A look of heart wrenching pain crossed his face as he dropped the first aid kit to the ground, alcohol splashing everywhere onto his carpet. But Noodle stood her ground even when her heart felt like it was breaking, persisting in making her point clear to the man across from her. Squaring her shoulders, the young Japanese woman began to make her way back to the lift. "I don't want to be here anymore. Just…keep that stupid Android."

She lost her footing, shrieking uncharacteristically for a moment, until she noticed she was being dragged away from the lift, the doors getting further and further away from her. She didn't have time to think it through before she was shoved, albeit violently, forward until her knees connected with the ledge of 2D's bed; she fell face first into the wrinkled bedspread that smelled of butterscotch and musk. Stuttering, she turned back to see 2D glaring at her, black voids narrowed and arms crossed over his chest. He didn't look one bit happy as Noodle stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming big rig. She should've known he was going to react. 'Shouldn't I have known this?' No, she realized. How could she? This Stuart Pot, this person was not someone she knew. How could she have known that her words would cut him so deep? Or make him become so angry? 2D hardly ever got angry; it just wasn't his personality. Yelping, Noodle backed up on his bed until her back hit the wall behind her. There was nowhere else to go. Her knuckles throbbed and she felt slight wetness sliding down her fingers. 'Shit…I'm bleeding again.' With her wounds reopened and not an exit in sight, the young woman prepared herself for whatever 2D was going to do.

To say he looked angry wouldn't have been a complete lie; he was downright frightful. He looked positively murderous. She'd seen his scary face in the lift but this was different. He was shaking as she'd been earlier. His eyes had become similar to a vacuum, sucking her in with their power, keeping her rooted to her spot. His blue locks suddenly seemed to be daggers as he leaned over her, mien accusing and animosity radiating off of him in thick waves. Her intuition told her to keep her mouth shut; then her anger got the best of her.

"Hey! What the fuck is the big idea? You can't trap me in here!" She shouted at him.

"Yeh gonna stay 'ere til I'm ready ta let yeh go, Noodle," he spat back quietly. She fell back on the bed in surprise. "Yeh wan' tell me wots goin on wit yeh tha' yeh 'void me all day? Don' fink I 'aven't noticed, love! S'been a year since yeh could really look me in tha' eyes! E'rytime I wanna talk ta yeh s'like pullin' my 'air ou' cos yeh jus' turn tail and run! Wot tha fook, lil love?!"

She suddenly felt ashamed as she came to grips with it. He was right but she was angry and upset. How could she admit to him that he was right when she was angry with him for not coming to look for her? Standing up to him, which was a funny picture as he was at least a good head and a half taller than her, she jabbed a finger at his chest even though bending her damaged hands hurt. Her words spilled out like a damn being broken, much to her own horror. "Me? ME? You NEVER came to look for me, Stuart Pot! I was gone for 7 years, 7 YEARS! Not once did you, any of you, come to look for me while I rotted away in the place!" She pushed him with her all might, her eyes starting to tear as she yelled, no longer in control of the horrid words spilling forth from her like poison. "Don't come tell me about YOUR frustrations and hurt feelings! Why don't YOU go to hell!? And just you TRY and make it back!"

"But Muds did go look for yew!" He shouted back. "We jus' didn't….Muds jus' didn't…find yew…" he trailed off in obvious irritation. Noodle couldn't bring herself to say anymore, her tears never ceasing as she stared at his frustrated form. He suddenly reached for his hair, pulling at it roughly as he stepped back from her. "I wos going ta find yew, soon as I 'scaped. I swear I wos….but tha' damn whale…"

She choked back a sob as the regret seeped into her veins like a horrid, viral infection without a cure. "2D…I…"

"Yew fink it wos easy livin 'ere with tha' slimy, lousy git?" 2D rounded on her, eyes narrowed into slits. Noodle fell back on the bed as he drew closer to her shrinking form on the comforter. "Tha' prat almost killed me! 'E fookin to'tured me like yew wouldn't believe. Course I 'ate him. But 'ow was I supposed ta get away? I'm not so cavalier 'bout wot 'appened ta me. I 'ate tha' jerk. I could kill 'im fo' wot 'e did ta us, ta yew, ta me; but wot good s'gonna come of tha' Noodle?" She opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off. "I wosn't askin. How could yew fink I wos okay with all of it?"

His anger rose as he suddenly punched the wall to the side of her head, his fist making a loud thumping noise as he stared into Noodle's fearful eyes. He was torn up inside that she was afraid but the anger that she'd re-awakened within him couldn't be stopped now. In the past he never would have done this. However, life was known to impact people in strange ways, and for Stuart Pot, he'd spent so much of his life being afraid and holding everything inside; at some point it was bound to come undone. He pointed a finger at her, bitterness lacing his voice as he continued. "Yew don't 'ave any idea 'ow long I endured this to'ture cos I was waitin fo' yew, Noodle, fo' yew! I 'oped tha' knob would bring yew 'ome…I waited…" Feeling another migraine surfacing, 2D cradled his head as all his anger slowly began to dissipate, leaving only frustration and depression to fill him as he searched, frantically, for his painkillers. "Fook…me damn pills…fook!"

He was grateful, though still hurt, as Noodle's small hands found the orange bottle and assisted him. It felt like an eternity before the white pills dissolved into his bloodstream, before they began to take effect and silence the monkey playing a bongo in his head. Unfortunately when the world cleared his anger did not. Throwing Noodle a dirty look he pointed to the door, head in one hand while the other motioned for her to leave his abode. When she didn't move at his command, 2D raised his blackened, hollowed eyes to her jade pair. "Get out."

"But 2D I—

She didn't have time to finish. "I said get out. I don' wanna talk 'bout it anymo'."

Wordlessly, Noodle made her way towards the door, glancing back at him one more time as if she'd misheard what he'd asked. He'd already curled up on his bed, the curtains drawn with his back to her. Holding back tears, Noodle closed the door, entered the lift and pressed the button to the Engine Room. When the doors opened to reveal the quiet darkness she'd found so much solitude within as of the late, she could only sigh and make her way towards the rancorous haven. Her stomach did a flip-flop as she slowly opened the painted red doors to "Noodle's Cupboard" and peeked inside to find the Android facing her, unlike how she'd left it. Stiffening at the change in position, she didn't make a move to enter the cabinet. Someone had, clearly, moved it recently. '_The only one who would've…stupid Murdoc_.' The young Axe Princess figured that the satanic bassist was trying to tell her something, trying to demonstrate how much she wasn't necessary to the band anymore. And yet that seemed more heartless than Murdoc could possibly be even if he was a complete inconsiderate bastard. Carefully, she kept her hand firmly on the doorknob while she debated whether she should enter the Android's territory or not. Was it wise to do so? She couldn't be too sure; but something drew her closer, almost calling to her like a demented lullaby filling her mind with a perverse sense of assurance. It was false. It had to be, right?

Despite its change in seating its eyes remained closed, every wire in place with the monitors beeping and motors humming softly in the background. Bracing herself for her next actions, Noodle shut the doors behind her as she crawled forward towards the metal machine. Whether from sleep deprivation euphoria or straight reality distortion, Noodle didn't know which, she quietly moved its arms and curled up to the Android's chest before letting its arms rest atop her prone form. Part of her, the more coherent and logically based part, was thoroughly horrified, scandalized even, at what she'd just done; the other part of her felt numb and no longer cared. All the stress of the day took its toll on her and Noodle couldn't resist the warm, welcoming silence that embraced her no matter who offered. It was, of course, at the expense of her mental perception at the moment but she no longer cared. In "Noodle's cupboard" she had found a place of twisted solace, something she hadn't been able to find in the upper reaches of Plastic Beach despite how much her band mates tried to make everything normal. And it was there she fell into a deep sleep, the Android's arms wrapping her in a protective, horrific and disturbed cocoon of warped purple, ebony and olive.

TBC

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_(Well, there is chapter 4. I also apologize if a lot of you are unhappy with how 2D is reacting--I'm trying. If you have suggestions, please feel free to continue giving them. I don't mind. But he is different, somewhat. He is angry and he is pent-up, just so you know. Anyhow, I'm working on Chapter 5 already but I am still trying to make it believable. It delves a lot more into Noodle's psyche from the time she was gone to now. There will be romance, eventually, promise. But unfortunately, it won't be right now. I think it'd be unrealistic. If you love it, please keep reviewing. If not…well...I think you get the point. And yes, Noodle's relationship with the Android is about to take a scary turn, just be aware. Thank you to all who reviewed, whether you like it or not. I appreciate the effort and honesty. Love you all. Thanks, until next time!)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: Apologies for the wait, everyone! I wanted to make it a good chapter, so hopefully I was able to do that for you all. Upon being upset about Coachella and the Live Rehearsal in LA I satisfied myself with re-reading "Rise of the Ogre" and watching the streaming Video of them Live at the Roundhouse. And then reading up on my "Stylo" toy! I'm nuts! THEY WERE AMAZING IN STREAMING! Okay, anyway, in regards to the story, this is probably the very beginning of Noodle's darker memories and 2D's too. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible without embellishing too much. I want it to follow what I've read about their back stories. Therefore I included VERY little of Noodle's memories about El Manana while, kinda filling things it. If it's wrong, please tell me so I can fix it. However, I stopped at KONG because I need to re-read the Black skinned Demon boy story. Anywho, next chapter is going to focus solely on Noodle x Android Noodle's sick relationship. It's already been hinted at but it takes a weird turn here. Well…I really hope you like it. Thank you for all who have been given me constructive feedback and awesome, encouraging reviews!_

'_thoughts' _

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

**Canvas of Imperfection**

2D's head hurt something horrible the next morning when he awakened alone, destitute in his bedroom with the curtains drawn, thankfully, to block out the horrid whale. He noticed it felt colder than usual despite the heater being on all the time. Even in such a warm abode he felt solitary, trapped in a blanket of chilled silence that encompassed everything he'd been feeling from the past to the present. Sometimes when he'd awaken 2D would sit in bed and stare at the ceiling in boredom, plagued by genuine disinterest for the world around him. Ever since Plastic Beach had been produced he could no longer feel happy about their fame, his fame, and all the perks it offered. Women no longer appealed to him the way they still did to Murdoc; Money seemed to have lost all real value; music became the outlet for his imprisoned soul and wounded heart. In the end, he liked to blame it on the media and the barrage of paparazzi that followed them around—in Kong it hadn't been a problem. Plastic Beach was mostly similar in the sense that it was secluded and one had to know the coordinates to get there without being eaten by some ocean creature. Or shot down by the Android if the transportation of choice just happened to be a flying vehicle of some sort. '_Well...in tha past, that is_.' But with the paparazzi following them to the ends of the earth like a druggie losing to a bad habit 2D became more and more detached from his surroundings. The world had lost his interest long ago; during the making of Plastic Beach it had lost all magnificent, splendorous appeal.

Sighing, the drugged, turquoise haired man reached for his pills again in hopes to quiet the monkey in his head, a monkey that reminded him, suspiciously, of Mike. He breathed in slowly but evenly through his nose before exhaling steadily from his mouth. He'd heard somewhere that rapid breathing could make his head pound more, yet couldn't recall exactly who'd said it. '_Maybe it wos lil love,_' he mused as he fumbled around his jean pockets still in search of his painkillers. At the thought of Noodle there was a piercing pain near his temple and he cradled his head gently so as not to aggravate the already ugly throb that pulsed there. Moments later he discovered the fluorescent orange bottle lying atop his rumpled bedspread between the creases. He quickly downed an unknown amount of the oblong, white and slightly powdery pills before resting his back on the sheets. He knew jumping into action right after taking his medicine was probably not the best of ideas; he buried his head in his pillow. He winced as the sweet, flowery scent of Noodle's shampoo filtered into his nostrils, invading his senses and calming the beating drums in his head.

He could still see the tears in her eyes at his command for her to depart his room the previous night. She'd looked an exquisite mess, her rosy cheeks enhanced by her constant blushes of embarrassment, shame and anger. While she may have looked like a scary sight, he thought her a beautiful disaster as she'd torn apart everything in his room. Her rampage had only made his heart go out to her further, though at this point he didn't feel like he had much of one left. Murdoc had done a superb job of destroying a lot of his soul during her absence. The kidnapping and torture was just the cherry on top of the already baked, poisoned dessert that 2D thought his life resembled. Even someone as mellow as he had always been knew when those feelings were shattered, that there was plenty of room for repair; but perhaps no one to do it. Rubbing his temples in frustrated annoyance, 2D stared at his flickering lamp that cast an enormous introspective light into what he had become and constantly felt like. '_Until recently…but even then, it still feels weird._' Even with Noodle's return he had not full recovered from the damage inflicted upon him at Murdoc's abusive, selfish, monstrous hands. Regardless of the fact that he was no longer afraid of the man or his threats, he became easy prey to the torture because it left hope that he might see his friend again.

Murdoc's promises to search for their guitarist renewed his once fallen hope. This, of course, was before Plastic Beach. Once he'd been kidnapped Murdoc had, once again, promised to search for Noodle, who he knew would be at least 16 or so by now, and he felt for it. "Not necessarily," he muttered to himself through his migraine haze. "I jus' though' tha' as'ole migh' really find 'er. Then I though' I could see 'er again."

He had really believed that the man would find her this time. However, he was unsuccessful, completely trashed and rather unforgiving about the entire ordeal. 2D had, at this point, been forced to agree to sing for Murdoc, which seemed a fate worse than death when he realized that not only was Noodle gone, but so was Russel. When he inquired about it Murdoc had given him his first dose of torture, a way to keep him silent. 2D had fought, kicked, tried to hit him but none of it had worked. As funny as it sounded the young man was terrified of Whales. He cursed that Murdoc knew his weakness upon finding out where his room was: under the water, with a porthole, with a Whale. '_I 'ate whales…_' he admitted bitterly to himself as he glanced up at the curtains above to make sure they were closed even though he had already checked earlier. Relief washed over him when he saw that they were still shut tight, courtesy of Noodle the night before. Twiddling his fingers, 2D managed to finally sit up and look around more, briefly observing the Mayhem. He was happy to see that the fan he'd been given was still 100% intact, hanging on its posts. '_At least she didn' manage to get me fan._' At this it suddenly dawned on him that he could hear people moving around in the upper reaches of their home, heavy footfalls resounding on the floor. He knew that was Russel. At the signal of a loud curse he was positive Murdoc was awake and bitching. Though they weren't producing an album yet, the bassist still held studio time, which they all complied to though 2D didn't have a clue as to why. He enjoyed being as far away from the Satanist as possible, even if it meant in his room where he knew the whale was watching from behind the curtains.

Sometimes the older man would come in and open the curtains to piss him off, or to scare him. Either way, it always ended up making 2D angry once the initial fright wore off. Before Noodle returned he would sit aside the window, shaking in fear but wracked with anger at his band mate. For someone who needed them to complete his band 2D felt like Murdoc was pushing it—he must really have believed they wouldn't ever leave. When it became apparent that 2D had no intention of staying a prisoner of war in Murdoc's camp of slavery and submission the older man had taken to those extreme measures. At the finish line 2D didn't see his compliance as giving up, quitting or obedience. He merely saw it as an ends to a mean; he saw it as a way to see Noodle again. He didn't believe she was dead after a couple years since they'd been informed she was going off to the Maldives for a break from fame. But after about 4 to 6 years he began to lose hope and Murdoc eventually gave up beating him or burning him with things because 2D had no desire to fight back. '_Took all tha' fun ou'it_.' He let out a deep, bitter chuckle at that thought as a loud bang resounded from up above his room. Shaking his head now that the migraine had lessened, 2D stood, dusted himself off, and headed towards the lift outside his door. He wasn't sure what was going on but he was sure that after last night's confrontation with 2 of his band mates, he was sure to go through some talks.

He pressed the button, waited patiently for it to open before climbing in and beginning to hum a melancholy tune to himself. He was surprised when it came to an abrupt halt on the floor above him. '_The…engine room…?_' He didn't have time to ponder why it stopped there when the doors slid open to reveal a yawning, disheveled Noodle, her hair mussed and clothes wrinkled. She yawned again before stepping in the lift and turning her back to him as she leaned her forehead against the grungy wall. '_Wot wos she doin down'ere?_' He was opening his mouth to ask a question when she scratched her head.

"Morning."

It was a curt greeting, one he could scarcely recall receiving from her in the past. It was cold, indifferent and nonchalant, especially from Noodle towards him. She ignored him the rest of the way up, her eyes glued to the Lift Panel. Whether it was from a half-asleep state or purposeful intent, he didn't know and didn't find out. She promptly exited the lift to make her way towards the bathroom in the common area, closing the door quietly behind her. 2D was puzzled, his eyebrows knitted in confusion and concern, mouth quirked to the side in thought. He didn't even notice Russel stomp back into the room dragging Murdoc by his collar until the drummer shouted at him.

"Yo 'D, I'm talkin to ya, man!"

Coming back from his reverie, 2D turned his head to the left and gave Russel a quizzical look. "Yeh, wot is it?"

"I want you two to play nice today, got it?" With that said the drummer threw Murdoc to the couch, ignoring the man as obscenities flowed from his mouth like a rushing stream. 2D gave them both a skeptical look, eyebrows still knitted but no longer in concern. "C'mon 'D, you two gotta stop this shit. Baby girl needs us to do what's right. You two foo's need to chill and stop bein babies about all dis."

"I ain't 'bout ta 'pologize to tha' dullard. Fuckin face ache needs ta get it through tha' thick 'ead o'his tha' this is my band. Yew too, Lards! This is my band!"

Russel rolled his eyes at this. "Yo 'D, be da bigga man."

"Russ, I wouldn' do any fink to upset Noodle. Um…" he shuffled his feet from side to side. "I'm goin out fo' a bit. Be back later."

Russel and Murdoc stared after him as he disappeared down the hall to the entrance of Plastic Beach. The last they heard was the slam of the door before silence ensued again. Russel wrinkled his nose at the sound of the shower running from the adjacent bathroom while Murdoc made his way to the fridge in search of something to eat. He knew that Noodle was the one cleaning herself but he wondered where she'd disappeared to after breakfast the previous day. He knew that she'd taken 2D with her down the lift, most likely to his room at that; but he wasn't sure what had transpired since neither had returned by the time they turned in for the evening. Their bassist didn't seem to care too much but Russel couldn't, and wouldn't, let it go that easily without further investigation into his already surfacing suspicions. 2D, though he seemed extremely detached, did not fool the drummer, not that Russel believed 2D was actually up to no good. However, he knew Noodle was emotionally distraught over what had happened to them at Murdoc's hand, or at his bidding. Normally she did an excellent job at hiding how she truly felt, being a master military weapon and all. Her poker face was unbeatable, her true thoughts undecipherable. '_Well, ta some_,' he surmised as his gaze drifted back to the entrance where 2D had, seconds ago, disappeared through.

He ignored Murdoc's continuous rants as he took a seat on the couch, thoughts deep and muddled. Russel knew what his place was within the family: he kept Murdoc in line, 2D safe when the singer wasn't harassing him, and looked out for Noodle, when she'd been around. The fact that he'd returned years before her made it all the harder to look out for her when she did finally resurface, albeit 8 years later and as a stone-faced young woman at that. He hadn't quite figured out what his role was in her life, not anymore. She'd made him feel somewhat the big brother or father figure in recent weeks, which was something that normalized his actions in regards to the guitarist. When he'd been wondering about what happened to the band he'd stumbled upon some of the rumors that the Gorillaz were releasing a new album, he was infuriated that he'd been left out. Even though they'd broken apart years earlier he knew that the Gorillaz was not complete without a drummer and a guitarist. In other words, without him and Noodle he didn't understand how Murdoc intended to have a band let alone make an album.

"Russ…yew don' think tha' Face Ache and Noodle are…tha' lot ain't doin nothing…yew think?" He leaned against the refrigerator with a cool can of beer in his hand, the other planted on his stomach. To say he had a beer belly wasn't quite true but he wasn't exactly the fittest man in the world, regardless of age. "Tha' lot been actin funny 'round each other lately."

"How bout you worry bout apologizing to Noodle 'fo you start jumpin the gun," Russel replied, shaking his head. Murdoc rolled his eyes again and took a large swig of his beer. "Sides…I don't think 'D is even remotely interested in doin anything like that, Muds. But Noodle…you need to apologize."

"I know." His reply was quiet. Not known for being the most insightful or forgiving, Murdoc knew when he was wrong. He'd been drinking a lot more lately and drowning his discomfort in Tequila in hopes that it would permanently disappear. With Noodle's return his usual comfort level had dropped, his guilt had arisen again, and his anger, in lieu of his inability to admit to faults, had heightened. All these things together made for a nasty combination he was used to in his life, but not necessarily something he wanted to deal with at the present. This was greatly enhanced by the fact that everyone was mad at him, particularly Noodle, which didn't sit well with people one considered family. It also didn't help to improve stability after all that had occurred after her initial disappearance and his drunkenly fruitless search for her. Years later, he had nothing to show for it except age, guilt, grief and a temper that caused him to hurt the only connection he'd had to them in their absence. Though Russel had eventually returned to them, he had been gone for quite sometime being a giant and not fitting into Plastic Beach. Sighing, he sloppily made his way towards the couch and took a seat next to their drummer, silently thinking to himself. "Yew know, Russ…I ain't so good 'bout 'pologies."

"Don't care, man. You gotta do it."

Grumbling, he nodded, knowing what he had to do. To say there had been a major change in Murdoc's personality would be far-fetched; time changed him some, but not drastically. Although he did have a soft spot for Noodle somewhere in the dark recesses of his satanic soul. He chalked it up to the fact that she was like a kid sister. '_Course, if she wos so much like a sister, yew wouldn' 'ave done tha' to 'er, would yew?_' He shifted to the side grumpily, taking another large swig of his beer to drown out his conscience. He didn't like being conflicted about things that weren't supposed to matter, things that were at his disposal—like his band mates. '_But 'ey aren't really disposable now, are 'ey?_' He ignored Russel, who was now thinking aloud, while he pondered the statement floating around in his head. He knew they weren't really people he could just throw away, that they were important to him now more than ever. But it was so much easier to be a jerk, to beat 2D even if the vocalist stood up to him more; to call Russel Lards instead of by his full name at times; to call Noodle lil lady, and treat her like a child. '_But she ain't a child anymo' now is she?'_ Murdoc knew this was where he kept making his mistakes with the girl, aside from their past history. Because that was just it—Noodle wasn't a girl anymore. She was a full-fledged, vibrant, beautifully strong woman. It had all happened while she was gone. But they'd all noticed.

She'd been living in Plastic Beach for almost a year now: how could they not notice? He'd be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge that he'd taken note of the changes not only in her appearance, but in her mood and personality. He knew, for a fact, that 2D had noticed and maybe more than the rest of them even if 2D's eyes were barely visible to the rest of the world who didn't know about his condition. 2D may have been 12 years older but it didn't affect the fact that she was attractive, and not just because of her youth and beauty. Noodle was not like most women he'd met. It wasn't because she was his band mate, or like a kid sister, or even like an idealized version of a woman. No, it was because Noodle had always been unique from her miserable past to her shining purple locks to her very core where demons lurked and all hell broke loose with her fury. He knew that much, if anything. Muttering to no one in particular, the sallow skinned man drank his beer in silence while Russel stared at the blank television set. Neither said a word or moved a muscle until they heard the bathroom door open to reveal Noodle looking slightly more awake but all the more bored, her eyes somewhat glazed over with sleep. She merely waved to them as she made her way towards the fridge in search of something to drink, preferably juice.

Her stomach was upset and she didn't really feel like consuming food at the moment. Sighing in aggravation and defeat upon the discovery of no juice, Noodle turned back towards her to family members, disgust apparent in her eyes when they landed on Murdoc. To say she was bothered was putting it mildly. She was livid. Her sleepy haze had yet to fully leave even after she'd showered and Noodle wanted nothing more than to strangle the bassist to high hell. '_Yes…maybe he'll end up where I did, that baka_!' Shuddering at the images that threatened to flood back into her mind, Noodle gave them a quick, short nod and made her way towards the lift, her wet hair dripping all the way there. Murdoc raised a brow as the lift swallowed her up in its dingy lighting, suddenly interested in talking to Russel who had stopped staring and was now picking at the stuffing in the couch.

"Russ..."

"Shuddup, Muds."

"Wot? I didn' say nothing," he retorted, belligerent. "Did yew notice Noodle's 'air wos still wet?"

The percussionist nodded his agreement of the observation. "So?"

"She wos wearin a white shirt."

Murdoc didn't have time to say anything further as Russel's massive hand came down hard on his thin back and slapped him clear off the couch. Shaking his head as the bassist struggled to stand again, the dark-skinned man went back to picking at the couch stuffing. "Fuckin pervert."

On the floor directly beneath 2D's stood Noodle, exhausted and indifferent, as she looked around the semi-cleaned room that was soon to be hers. It consisted mostly of junk compiled in the middle of the room and some to the side now, while she walked around in silent observation. She was trying to picture how it would look with a simple bed, some basic furniture and a computer. These things were all that were necessary for her to be semi-comfortable living in Plastic Beach. She sighed and reached behind her to scratch her back, suddenly interested in playing music to drown out the horrible thoughts, the demented images that plagued her. They had disappeared during her sleep cycle but quickly resurfaced once she'd awakened in the arms of the android. It had looked peaceful, its arms resting atop her previously slumbering form like a protective shield that she was morbidly fond of when she stared at it. With its eyes still closed, monitors still beeping, wires attached and head hanging low, it seemed almost lost like a child without its way. At that point she had reached up to touch it with her lithe fingers, hand settling on its cheek for a moment before the nausea rushed back like a waterfall over her insides. Repulsed, Noodle had jumped back from the machine, heaving as though she'd seen a ghost and was frightened half to death at the realization. Shaking the image from her head Noodle made her way towards the pile in the middle of the room, her intent to merely figure out what it all was. She knew it was junk; she wanted it out, now.

It appeared to be a large mass of metal scraps, underwater trash and a few dead sharks that looked like they'd been decaying for some time. One was completely bones, a hollowed out carcass smashed beneath a couple that looked slightly newer. She cursed that she was now more familiar with the decomposition process, and the coagulation process, and the death process in general. Shuddering, she kicked at a hunk of metal that lay atop the sea creatures to distract her mind from her past. She didn't want to remember any of it. She hated it. She wanted to disappear when it began to course through her veins, through her red blood cells like an incurable sickness she harbored without consent. Consent. The word stuck in her mind when she thought of Hell, of that place that took away her right to make such a decision. A simple decision? No. But hers, nonetheless. Frustrated beyond compare, Noodle fell into a crouch, her head between her knees as she rocked back and forth as the pain resurfaced. She begged her mind to push them out, to lock them away in the dark corners of her psyche so she would be saved—for now, at least. Tears brimmed at her eyelids, burning to be released as she pulled at her hair in anxiety. It all happened so quickly. Before she knew it she was curled up in fetal position on the smelly, slightly dampened carpeted floor, shivering and shaking. '_I wish I had 2D's switchblade right now_,' she thought sadly as she stared straight ahead into the nothingness of the room. She could hear Murdoc and Russel talking, though she wasn't sure if they were arguing or not.

She didn't hear 2D and hadn't seen him since their interaction this morning, which consisted of a simple greeting and her ignoring him. It wasn't purposeful, she thought. It was more the result of sleeplessness and listlessness than actual annoyance. She was afraid of 2D, true; but she loved him and missed him every minute he was gone. The fact that he'd shown such animosity towards her, that he was angry enough to kick her out, made her stomach turn over. Queasiness kicked in and Noodle held her midsection to soothe the raging fire that threatened to spill forth from her lips. Nevertheless, she had no success as she dry heaved onto the carpet, bracing her knees and the palms of her hands against the ruddy material of the floor. Yellow bile shot through her lips, staining the light blue carpeting a sickly darker color with its acidic stench and property while she continued to throw up. Once the wave of nausea passed Noodle rolled away from the puddle to face the garbage living in her future dwelling, clutching her stomach for comfort. But it did very little to ease the pain sweeping through to the core of her being. Letting out the choked sob she'd been holding back during her vomiting attack, Noodle shook as it ripped free from its prison. Hugging herself with her arms, the young woman cried. She'd never cried so much in her life. She'd thought that she wouldn't be able to cry like it ever again. In Hell she'd been so dry of tears by the time she completed her escape plan that when she'd reached the surface, all she could do was stare, stoically, out into the distance, the earth underneath her bare feet feeling foreign and cold.

"I can't go back to that place…I can't," she repeated to herself over and over again. She hoped it would ingrain itself in her brain so thoroughly that she could leave it in a dark, black hole in the far reaches of her mind. She didn't want to remember any more of it; she wanted the recollection to blank itself into oblivion. "Can't I just get amnesia?"

Noodle was most thankful, however, for that fact that none of her band mates was curious enough to come looking for her when she disappeared. '_Or care enough.'_ She snorted, for she knew this wasn't exactly true. While they may not have come searching for her she knew that Russel cared a lot, too much at times. Murdoc cared—he'd come to look for her—but he was awful at showing anything other than diluted cruelty. Then there was 2D. _'Yes, then there is you…Stuart Pot. The one who comes for me when I am…lost. The one who was always there…_' she paused, mid-thought. '_Was there…right?_' She knew 2D would have come had Murdoc not blocked him. She believed him when he said he tried to find her, even if she didn't admit to it there in front of him; and even accused him of the exact opposite. But Noodle was no fool. She knew he cared about her and that he would've come for her, his best friend and band mate. '_But not as…someone he loved in more than a platonic way, right, Noodle? You silly girl…_' Berating herself would get her nowhere, she knew. And yet it didn't matter because she felt like she needed to do it, to get that message through her head in order to stop hurting him and herself. Accepting this mantra she'd recently made for her mind wasn't as easy as it had seemed in the beginning. Here she was, a year later with not much success to show for all her hard work. 2D was mad at her; she hated Murdoc; Russel was terribly concerned for her; and she was becoming abusive in the worst way.

'_I'm a monster_.' She concluded in earnest, her fingers cold and numb from the lack of heat in the room. She assumed the central air and heating had yet to be redirected into the soon-to-be usable living space. 2D's room had been extremely warm the other night. In fact, she'd known it but she'd been too cold to be graced by such warmth. 2D's arms around her hadn't helped much either, only making her tired and angry. Then, just like that, her mind focused back onto the image of the Android sitting quietly, obediently in the Cupboard with its hands in its lap. She almost felt like wandering back to it now—but she felt disgusted by that train of thought. '_I hate that I'm so…obsessed with that thing. It's not even obsession…it's a fucking sickness…and I need it._' After careful deliberative thinking Noodle had come to the conclusion that she wasn't interested in the Android itself, but more of the idea that it resembled, in appearance, her former self. It looked more like she had; a young, unmarred version of what she used to be. With the exception of the bullet hold in its head, and army clothing, and weapons, and personality, it was her. '_Well, that's actually a lot unlike the old me_.' It won in general appearance and that was about it. But at the present Noodle didn't feel like she could even claim to know much about who she was before Plastic Beach, before she'd returned. Her memories were vague, distorted and, quite frankly, missing. Most of her head was filled with some things prior to the Windmill crashing accompanied by a full 6 years of Hell to the present. It made her so hostile, how helpless she was to recollect things that the she and the band had experienced prior to El Manana; all the good times, and even the bad.

She wished she could remember so much more than what she currently did. It made her frustrations sky-rocket to levels she was afraid she couldn't always control. Luckily no one had been around to see that. The first few months she'd returned had left her bed-ridden with nightmares as her only outlet, her only source of control over the outbursts that would surely frighten the gentle singer, her loving father figure, and even the evil bassist. '_Nightmares unlike any I've ever had before this._' She felt another tear slip down her cheek as her eyes glossed over with the memories of her old life, the white hot fire consuming her.

_*Flashback*_

_Noodle coughed, breathing heavily as though she couldn't get enough air as the Windmill crashed below, the smoke encompassing her as her parachute kept her airborne over the explosion. It wasn't the biggest explosion but it still clouded over the canyon as she prayed the wind to carry her just a few feet away from it at the very least since she was supposed to get rescued. It was taking a lot longer to reach the bottom than she anticipated. When her feet touched the ground beneath her she immediately fell to her knees, coughing and sputtering at the fumes wafting towards her. There was debris everywhere around her, metal scraps and burning wood littering the entire vicinity so that she could no longer see the earth. Covering her mouth with one hand to block out the smoke, she stood on her feet and stumbled away from the site of the crash. Her parachute had caught on fire the moment she'd detached herself from the emergency release, fire licking at it before consuming it all together. She could barely see anything in the cloud of gray, relying on her ninja skills to feel around, listening intently to anything other than the crackling fire. It was quite windy, the breeze causing the fire to burn quicker and whipping her bangs about her face. Irritated that she couldn't see due to the wind factor as well as the smoke stinging her eyes, Noodle began to walk in the direction opposite the fire. Once far away enough she found a large slab of granite to lean against, taking it as an opportunity to catch her breath and wipe her eyes. From where she now stood it looked awful. _

_The windmill was still sparking and crackling amongst the debris. There were shells from shotguns, machine gun cartridges and even a missile that looked like it was a dud lying in the wreck on the dirt covered ground. Sighing in relief that she wasn't dead, Noodle began to examine her body for injuries. Other than a few tears in her striped shirt, a large rip in her shorts and a hole in her boots, she was relatively injury free. There were, however, a few minor burns on her arms and legs as a result of landing so near the red-orange flames. She brought her gaze to the sky, barely making out the Feel Good Inc. tower where it drifted above the clouds. She couldn't see the top where 2D, Murdoc and Russel were but she could see the base. Shuddering, she tried to figure out how to call her band mates. The El Manana video shoot had gone terribly wrong. Murdoc had made all the arrangements for it; she was supposed to "die" then, head off to the Maldives for a nice, long deserved vacation. She'd had it with the fame, for now. But it all went terribly wrong; she'd really been shot down and almost killed. She was ready to chew the producers out but decided she needed to get a hold of Murdoc before she did anything drastic. She had seen the medic team looking for her, but since she hadn't landed "early" enough, they disappeared. When she'd made it to the actual crash site everyone was already gone. _

_Holding back a string of obscenities, the young guitarist glanced around for an exit route from inside the deep canyon. She needed to get back top-side in order to make any progress. 'I should go back to Kong first. I don't think the guys are going to be coming down from that damned tower anytime soon.' Decision made she began a slow, steady trek towards where she thought there might be an exit from where she was trapped. The air was chilly and she wished she had a sweater or something to cover herself. Her initial shock had worn off and the cold air bit into her skin like a thousand needles itching to become her undoing. Teeth chattering now that she was far away from the crash site, Noodle rubbed her arms to keep warm. She had no idea where she was, in reality, but all she could keep telling herself was that she needed to get out of the endless chasm. 'I suppose I'll just have to keep traveling until I find…somewhere to climb or something.' And walk she did. For what seemed like hours she walked on a pathway that seemed rather straightforward with very little twists or turns, rare rights and lefts, no forks in the middle. In fact, the monotony of the road was starting to piss her off when she suddenly came to a fork with 3 path ways. Unsure of which path to choose, she sat down in the middle of the road with her head in her. 'I guess I'll wait for a sign, or something.' Now more than ever did she wish she'd brought a compass or a radio or something to help her contact someone at the top of the mountain. 'Although, it may have very well broken in the damn crash.' _

Noodle cringed for a moment, flopping onto her back with her eyes staring, horror struck, at the ceiling.

_Kong was unusually quiet; its occupants were out or perhaps no longer living there, which seemed odd to Noodle. She was sure she hadn't been gone THAT long. Either way, Noodle felt a chill shoot down her spine as she wandered around the corridors, quietly making her way down towards the car park where Murdoc and 2D resided. She saw the Winnebago there though it looked like it hadn't been used in a long time. 2D's door was slightly ajar but no sound came from behind it. A feeling of uncertainty washed over the young guitarist as she encroached further on the area, a sinister twist in her gut causing her to halt for a minute. Something wasn't right but she couldn't place what it was. All she knew is what she felt and it was dark, suffocating, evil. Upon further self encouragement she ventured forward though hesitantly. Placing her hand on 2D's doorknob, Noodle began to push the door open at a tire-screeching slowness until it was completely ajar. And she gasped audibly._

The Japanese woman sucked in a massive breath of air as she bolted upright, hand clutching her shirt where her heart was beating erratically in the confines of her ribcage. There was wetness lining her cheeks and her eyelid felt itchy where it had been torn a year ago. The scar tended to bother her on occasion but it was rare an occurrence until very recently. Breathing in heavily, Noodle tried to regain control of her wayward thoughts, her hand massaging the spot where her heart continued to beat sporadically. Her chest hurt with unfamiliar exertion as she willed her body to stop panicking, telling it she was safe and calmness was necessary.

_I'm a scary gargoyle on a tower  
That you made with plastic power  
Your rhinestone eyes are like factories far away_

Noodle felt her heart plummet as the lyrics pierced her mind without warrant or warning. She immediately fell back onto the floor, silent tears trickling down the sides of her face and landing on the carpet. She already knew what would come of such a focus on 2D's sorrowful voice, from the accusatory words that seemed to call out to her very soul with ease and precision. Part of her was still dying, quite literally, at the thought that someone had hurt 2D so badly; the other was dying of heartache. 8 years was a long time to be separated but she knew that confessing to him would be harder now since both of them no longer knew each other as they had. But how every fiber of her being longed for him in ways more than physical affection could attain. The satisfaction of simple physical intimacy was rather irrelevant to her now. What she wanted, what she craved, what she needed more than anything, was his heart. Hell, she wanted his soul. '_Though not in a creepy, devil kind of way._' That small thought made a little chuckle escape her throat though the tears continued to fall.

She cursed everything around her down to her very self at the fact that 2D was now the fragmented man she'd returned to. She couldn't decide which was worse: his being, torn to shreds; or her inability to speak what she felt without abusing him. Why couldn't she stop being so hateful? Noodle wracked her brain for some the obstacles blocking her happiness. '_I have every reason to be happy, don't I? I'm home with my family, with Russel, with 2D…why can't I stop the rage_?' Another image of the Android popped back into her semi-unstable mind. This time it was wearing a skirt with a pink coat, a duck hat perched on top of its head while light blue, metallic eye shadow adorned its eyelids. Frozen in her spot at the sudden picture, Noodle bolted to her feet and made a mad dash towards the lift, pressing the button so hard she thought she might break it. She heard the whine of the lift and took it 2 floors up once it'd opened before darting towards "Noodle's Cupboard." She threw open the doors in haste, panting heavily as she stared at it. '_Is that…_' her mind wandered back to the image. '_what…is that what I used to look like…?_' Similar in appearance though not in clothes choice, Noodle had the intense urge to dig up some of her old clothing to place on the Android, just to see what it would look like—to see what SHE looked like before Hell. Feeling a chill up her spine, all thoughts of Hell and Kong forgotten for the moment, Noodle made her way topside where she soon found Murdoc grumbling at Russel while the drummer stared off into space. It reminded her very much of 2D. '_Wait a minute…where is 2D?_'

"Russel-san?"

He looked up. "Baby girl?"

"Where is 2D-san?" her slight Japanese accent made him smile as she shifted from side to side.

"He went out fo' a bit. Need somethin?" He looked at her in curiosity.

"I was wondering…" she shot a quick, uncertain glance at Murdoc. "Do we still have….any of my old clothes?"

"Wot yew wan' tha' fo' girl?" Noodle shot him a nasty glare but it was short lived when Russel hit him on the back again. Murdoc let out a string of cuss words. "Ouch, Lards! Tha' fuckin 'and of yers ain't like a pillow!"

"Just answer the question, Muds, fo' I use my fist next time," came the curt reply.

"Awright, awright! Yew got some old clothes in face ache's room. Tha' dullard didn' wan'ta part with any o'it."

She quickly bowed before heading back down towards the lift and 2D's room. Upon reaching the room, she started her search for any evidence of her old life, of her old self. She dug through countless boxes full of junk, no doubt things 2D considered prized possessions, and numerous bins full of movies, notepads with lyrics, and endless amounts of mismatched instrument pieces. She was at her wits' end when she noticed a small box, only a little larger than a boot shoe box, taped up and shoved conspicuously underneath his bed behind his keyboard. How she'd seen it was beyond her but at that point she could give a rat's ass about how he'd situated it in its hiding spot. She tore at the wrapping, ripping the tape off and throwing the lid from it to reveal its contents. It was a little dusty and covered by a plastic bag. Frustrated with the amount of coverage it had, Noodle dumped everything onto 2D's floor in unkempt anticipation. An eerie sense of déjà vu settled over her as she picked apart the clothing, piece by piece, and laid it out on his floor. Her mind became a hazy blur of discombobulated memories as she inspected the articles—a pink jacket, a skirt, knee high socks, eye shadow…

"And a duck hat…"

"Wot yew doin with tha'?" Noodle gasped, shock and surprise washing over her at 2D's frantic voice. She turned to him, her mouth gaping unattractively like a fish as she fought for clarification. He looked upset, furiously confused—Noodle could only continue to struggle for a coherent response. He pushed past her, quickly shoving the clothes back into the box and stashing it beneath his bed, his breathing erratic and harsh. She sat there behind him, unsure of what had just transpired but fearful nonetheless. When he whirled around to face her she could only lean back in fright as his black, fractured eyes narrowed at her in disbelief. "Wot were yew doin touchin tha' stuff?!"

"I'm…I'm sorry, 2D-san…I was merely curious…"

"Don't touch wot's not yours," he snapped.

"But it is mine!"

"WOS yours. It's 'ERS."

Aghast, Noodle felt her heart clench as she brought her hand up to stop the cry from escaping her mouth. His words stung, like Jellyfish—potent and continuous. Before she could stop herself Noodle felt a tear slide down her cheek as her hand moved of its own accord. It connected soundly with 2D's cheek like it had with Murdoc's the previous evening. For his part 2D seemed rather stunned but his head turned back so quickly to face her that she wasn't sure it had had much effect. In truth, she wasn't even sure why she'd done it. Out of pain, hurt, anger, shock, sadness—they all seemed pretty valid a reason to her.

_I'm caught again in the mystery  
Your by my side, but are you still with me?_

"I…I don't…" she fumbled for words again as the anger drained from his face, the hurt fading away, soon replaced with regret and embarrassment. But the damage was done for her. "Who are you? I don't know who you are anymore!" Her shout caused 2D to flinch, any remaining upset completely gone as his hand extended towards her. She shunned it, smacking it away from her as she stood to her feet. He was still slightly kneeled down, staring at her in confusion and despair. "Give me back my clothes! I want them back, they're mine! I don't know who you are but I want my things back! You're not Stuart Pot, you're not 2D…you're, you're…a SHELL, A BROKEN EMPTY, FRAGMENTED SHELL!"

His voice cracked at her venomous words but he kept on towards her, determined to make her see that it was truly an accidental slip-up. He'd spent so much time without her that her kept clothes was part of his sanity, and he'd been blinded when she'd gone through them. In the past, anything of Noodle's had to be hidden or the Android would destroy it. Whether this was Murdoc's bidding or its own distorted personality trait, 2D didn't know or care. He only knew he had to keep any part of his old friend safe, any part of her memory still alive and cared for incase she ever returned. It was the last shred of hope. He wouldn't admit it but at times, when he was particularly down or saddened over her absence, he would sleep with her clothes in his bed, the faint smell of her keeping him morbidly happy. He would not tell her this for fear of being seen as a freak or a pervert since he was 12 years older than her; he didn't want to scare her. But that part of his life was a blurry pool of agony and ecstasy. Putting that all aside 2D approached her retreating figure, his hands shooting out so fast she didn't have time to escape as they caught her and he pulled. She was, not surprisingly, strong but 2D had done his fair share of fighting off Murdoc in the past. She struggled against him until, only moments later, she'd tired herself out. Collapsing from exhaustion and what he chalked up to be a notorious lack of sleep, Noodle curled into his chest, sniffling but not shaking, thankfully. He whispered quietly in her ear, running his hands through her soft purple locks in comfort for not only her, but himself.

"Yew don' mean tha' and I know yew're jus' mad." While she didn't apologize he knew she was somewhat sorry, if only a little. None of that mattered to him as he held her close to him, feeling her heartbeat against his, feeling her with him, knowing she wasn't just a figment of his deprived imagination. For the past year he'd felt like he'd been dreaming. She'd avoided him for so long. Even now she still was but here, with her pressed against his chest, crying her eyes out to him, made him warm inside. "Lil love…I missed yeh."

Noodle cried harder, tightening her fingers on his shirt as they slid down into sitting position with Noodle in his lap. It was a somewhat awkward position for both of them since the last time they'd sat like this Noodle was younger, shorter and less…developed. 2D felt a lump form in his throat, a particularly inappropriate train of thought entering his mind as he felt all the "developed" parts of her body pressing against his chest, his groin, his thighs, etc. He was, honestly, dedicated to comforting her and just being in the moment with this beautiful woman; but being as beautiful as she was happened to be causing him some…issues. Gulping, 2D eased her away from his chest a couple inches as he rubbed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. Her jade eyes were swollen from sobbing so much, slight bags visible under her eyes from her insomnia. She sniffled again as she glanced up at 2D's fractured spheres and he found himself smiling at her scarred face.

"S'awright love, sorry I yelled at yeh. I been kinda...outta'it lately. I really did miss yew though, Noodle."

She shuddered in repressed joy as she let out a small sigh before settling into his embrace, warmth and fatigue starting to creep over her. "2D-san…"

"Ssh. Yew jus' rest now, awright? Yew need ta sleep more, lil love," he replied, rubbing her head. "Yew been through a lot, ain't cha?" She nodded and they both fell silent for a moment until 2D remembered, seemingly out of nowhere, what he'd been meaning to ask her. "Noodle…can I ask yew summink?" She nodded again though not as enthusiastically as he would have liked; he proceeded with caution. "Can I ask yew 'bout tha' uh….Android?" Automatically she tensed at his inquiry but said nothing. Taking this as a sign that she was okay with his mini interrogation, 2D continued. "It's jus' tha' yew spend a lot of time in 'ere with tha' thing…with tha' monster."

"It's not a thing," she whispered defensively.

This statement caught him off guard as he stared at the crown of her head in puzzlement. "Okay…so wot is it, then?"

She didn't seem mad at him for his question but the tension in her body did not ease. "It's a girl, 2D-san. She's not a monster. Murdoc made her that way."

He was put off by the fact that she was defending the evil machine but did not want to upset her further. "Okay, lil love." He said nothing else as she snuggled into his chest, exhaustion claiming her completely as she started to doze off into the land of Morpheus. He gently picked her up, maneuvering his way through his junk laden floor towards his bed. After carefully laying her soon to be sleeping form onto his mattress, 2D rummaged around his stash of movies for a zombie flick to entertain himself til he could also fall asleep. He could hear her mumbling incoherently for a minute or two while he found the remote and switched the Telly onto its proper setting. He didn't climb into bed next to her, opting to play it safe and sleep on the floor again, when a hand snaked out from the blankets and landed softly on his bony shoulder blade. He glanced up to see her staring at him, green eyes sleepy but calm.

"2D-san…please…sleep here, tonight?"

It was a simple request with no grotesque or lecherous intentions behind it, he knew, since her tone was quiet and pleading. He debated this for moment, the monkey in his head having quieted; it was starting to protest the silence forced on it by the medication. Not wanting to fight with it—or for more selfish reasons as well—2D slowly and cautiously consented, climbing into bed next to her, instantly turning his back to her. This didn't appear to bother Noodle as he leaned on one elbow while she cuddled up to his back, her small hands flat upon his shirt and head buried between them. It was strange to him how tall she was, how much she'd grown after she'd vanished then reappeared, altered but glorious in that marred imperfection. He returned his eyes to the blaring television set as he felt her breathing become even to signify she was beginning to fall alseep. Yawning loudly, 2D felt himself becoming sleepy as well, his fractured eyes fighting to stay open as her warmth permeated the covers and enveloped him in a silk-like blanket of tranquility. Laying his head on the pillow as the sounds of screams and death filtered in and out of his head, 2D was almost asleep in seconds when the hands on his back squeezed his T-Shirt and lips moved against his skin through the fabric.

"I missed you too….Stuart."

TBC

* * *

_(ZOMFG….can't believe I was able to write this chapter! I had to give you more fluff, for now. Next chapter is mainly Android Noodle and Real Noodle…that's the focus. Not a short story at all…I'm realizing. But that's all I have for now. Thank you to all who reviewed, whether you like it or not. I appreciate the effort and honesty. Love you all. Thanks, until next time!)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: OMFG…that took forever, didn't it? I'm SOOOO sorry for making you all wait so long, but you know…this was one of the harder chapters to write. I hope I did well enough. I enjoyed it. But eh, we'll see if you all do. Anyhow…I'm like, salivating at the thought of them coming to the USA and being able to buy that Video Camera VIP ticket package for like…$400…yea, I'll do it cause I'm nuts! Anywho, onto the story. I hope you like it and I'll try to be better about updates. I'll be working on a review page cause you are all sooo amazing. For now, a special thanks to __**The Hazel-Eyed Angel**__ cause she is freakin amazing and super encouraging. Now, go read her story __**Empire Ants**__ cause it is damn awesome; NOW I SAY!  
_

'_thoughts' _

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_It's a Casio on a plastic beach_

_It's a Casio on a plastic beach  
It's a Styrofoam deep-sea landfill_

_It's a Styrofoam deep-sea landfill_

_It's automated computer speech_

_It's automated computer speech  
It's a Casio on a plastic beach  
It's a Casio_

~Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Floating, endlessly, through time and space. This is how Noodle felt as she wandered around the corridors of Kong, the desolate atmosphere wrapping her up in uncertainty and hesitance. She couldn't figure out what was worse: the stoic silence or the eerie ticking of old clocks. For some reason the incessant noise reminded her of a time bomb ready to go off at any second. The purple locks underneath her fingertips felt soft, maybe even too soft, to be real. And the skin beneath her hands also felt odd, whether it was beautiful or not becoming irrelevant. Was it real, really real? Noodle's mind did a flip-flop as she thought about that sentence. It didn't make any sense. Disregarding such a ridiculous focus she brought her mind back to the "girl" beneath her grasp. It was strange enough that the Android was even IN Kong to begin with, seeing as to its existence didn't belong in her old home. The Android looked all the bit as normal as any girl at the age of fourteen. The older woman had to remember that she was looking at a machine, not a girl, not herself, not an actual person.

However, the Android did have all the superficial characteristics of a real, flesh-covered person: synthetic hair that appeared real to the eye and real to the touch. Artificial jade colored eyes that blinked like anyone else's paired with a facial structure that looked realistic in architectural make-up and skin tone completed its face. Its body looked like a fourteen year old, one who hadn't quite developed but was in the beginning stages. Its clothing was perfectly fitted and chosen, the pieces matching the hat atop its head and boots on its feet. It even had a name though, perhaps, not the most flattering of names; Cyborg Noodle, or Android Noodle. So, in theory, it was more or less a complete person—except the part where it lacked a heart and soul. '_Which makes it pretty hard to be a person, let alone a living thing_,' she concluded, giving the Android's head an affectionate rub. She was still pondering this when she heard a familiar but slightly scratchy voice calling to her. Glancing down, she was aghast to find the machine looking directly up at her, eyes wide and innocent.

"Are you…the real me?"

Taken aback, Noodle dropped her fingers from its hair and took a step back, grasping for words at the realization of what she'd just said. The android said nothing in return, sitting silently and resolutely where it had been for almost a year. Though its eyes were now open it did not offer her any consolation or advice in reference to her dilemma, which caused her even more frustration. Sighing, she pushed the Android away from her, watching placidly as it fell back on the carpet without any protest. It lie there, bent back at an awkward angle due to the carelessness in which she'd practically thrown it, shins flattened beneath its thighs. If she'd been human it would have been a rather painful positions to be in if she wasn't a yoga student or gymnast. But Noodle had no intention of fixing her or setting her straight for it would mean she cared about the android. And she didn't.

It was a fake, artificial and made from metals, made from man, made from Murdoc's repulsive hands. And she, Noodle, was real, authentic, made of flesh and bone, made with a soul and a heart. '_And that should comfort me,_' she mused as she glared down at the imposter at her feet. '_So…why doesn't it make me feel better, at all?_' She suddenly felt hands on her shoulders and let out a terrified yelp as she saw the Android smirking up at her, a snarl on its face as it laughed at her.

"Noodle!"

She pushed at it, violently. "Get off of me!" When I began to shake her Noodle felt panic rush through her veins. She started to slap it when it gave her one last shake, hard at that.

"Noodle!"

Her eyes popped open as she looked into the black eyes of 2D, who was staring at her with a worried expression. He was hovering over her, hands on her shoulders and supporting himself with his knees. Out of breath and shocked, she touched his face with her fingertips to make sure he was real. "2D-san…?"

"Lil love…yew was thrashin' an' kickin' like an animal….yew awright?"

Turning her head to the side, she realized she was not alright; far from it, in fact. With a sigh Noodle sat up, not really thinking about where she was, how they were positioned, or how close he actually was. Consequently she grunted in pain when her head connected with his chin, sending her hands and his to rub their respective injuries. Cursing, she finally ceased when the ache subsided, bringing her face up to thank him for waking her when her nose bumped into his. To say she was surprised was the understatement of the year. Noodle practically jumped back at the contact but something would not allow her this opportunity as she stared at him, their noses touching, hands immobile and lips parted. She could smell him, almost taste him too. Licking her lips, she started to press forward towards him, lips seeking his, when 2D leaned back, hesitantly and reluctantly at best. Noodle's disappointment was short lived, however, when he leaned back too far and fell off the bed, landing in a heap of tangled limbs on the floor. She stifled the instant laugh that wanted to break free, hands flying to her mouth in concealment. But after the initial excitement of his accident wore off she found a sinking feeling settling in the pit of her stomach at the remembrance of why he'd fallen in the first place. Holding back another sigh she stood quickly and pushed past him, all recollection of the previous night shoved back to the dark recesses of her mind.

"Lil love?"

"Breakfast," she answered curtly, slamming his door behind her. She didn't bother to give him any further explanation since she felt very much like throwing up at that exact moment. Forgotten was the warmth that had enveloped her the night before, the even beating of his heart that lulled her to sleep. Gone was the comforting, delicious sigh he'd emitted as she'd curled into his back for safe haven. No, the previous night seemed like a past memory, beautiful but fleeting. She had heard 2D stumble after her but had no intention of returning his pleading calls for her to come back. The annoyance and disappointment circulating through her were enough to make her heart stop pounding with sorrow for the vocalist, if just for a moment. Sighing, Noodle made her way back towards the floor that was to, very soon, become her own private abode. It still smelled strange and appeared as though it had yet to be touched for more cleaning. She assumed that it had everything to do with the fact that Murdoc controlled the movers, the cleaners, etc. And he was endlessly lazy, and probably couldn't stand her right now. She snorted at this thought. '_What a jackass_.' She knew she couldn't stand him at the present either; and forcing herself would prove a positively pointless decision on her end. They'd come around when they were ready.

Noodle was beyond not being ready.

She was turning 23 in October, which wasn't that far from away—more like 2 months—and she wasn't sure why it felt like this would become a turning point for her and her family. '_Well…somewhat family_.' Thinking of ALL of them as family seemed like a sin, mainly because how she felt about 2D was far from familial, let alone reserved or PG-13. Stopping at the door to her impending room Noodle found her thoughts wandering back to the singer. He was, to her, the epitome of a lost, beautifully misunderstood but simple soul. While it was true that 2D wasn't the brightest nor the empty headed fool people believed him to be, she knew that his head wasn't swimming with much of anything. If it was, she imagined it was mostly music lyrics and random ideas about what his life could've been, if that. He really was quite a simple fellow with basic wants and needs that needed fulfillment to be happy. While she wouldn't go as far as to call him a simpleton—it seemed slightly insulting—she did figure he didn't think much outside the realm of basic ideology. She wondered, more now than ever, if he thought about love, if he thought about sex, if he thought about her, mostly. In her mind, Noodle didn't think having sex meant one really thought about it all the time, or ever. Sometimes the body did what it wanted to, she now knew.

"Ugh…why am I even thinking about this? It's only going to depress me even more," she mused as she stood in the doorway of her room, pretending to be deep in thought though no one was around to see the façade. Something didn't make sense about the way Plastic Beach functioned. It was fake, a beach made of trash, plastic, plaster—everything that was artificially created. This, of course, was why it was named a Plastic Beach as opposed to a real one. But everything in it was unreal, from the structure to the people dwelling within its hard walls to the image of a real sandy landscape. Murdoc was fake, Russel was fake, and 2D was fake. All of them were. Even she was fake. And so was the Android. The correlation between her make believe home and her make believe family irked Noodle so much that she felt like vomiting again, which she knew would be more than disgusting since she'd hadn't eaten anything yet. Steadying herself so as to not lose her insides she made her way back into the dingy room, ignoring the smell of rotted flesh that was rather toxic. 'I _survived 6 years in hell…what's a little stench going to do to me?_' Shrugging it off with an air of true nonchalance Noodle sat down in the corner furthest away from the pile of junk sitting in the middle of the room. Her vomit stain from the previous night was still there though it had dried up and crusted over on the carpeting. She gagged at the thought of the night before, excluding her sweet interlude with 2D. How she wished she could see him again despite the fact that she'd slammed the door in his face. It seemed like that was how all things went for her these days: loving things and hating them at the same time. It seemed like a relatively normal occurrence, a normal mindset; with the exception that it was excessive for her in all cases and situations. Another sigh threatened to leave her but she quickly stifled it as she assessed, in her solitary silence, the current dilemma which she'd caused for herself.

She couldn't very well run up to 2D and say sorry. She was far too angry, hurt and annoyed to do that. She couldn't just pretend nothing had transpired between them in that instant because that would be denying herself the hope that he might feel…something for her. _'Something…how vague._' She highly doubted that his actions were the result of needing an easy lay; 2D wasn't the same person he was all those years ago. She suspected he'd never been interested in "easy lays" as Murdoc had put it. She had heard about his past girlfriend, Paula Cracker, and how Murdoc had ruined that relationship, amongst numerous others, for her friend. But she seriously did not think that 2D, for as simple as he was, wanted to just screw girls and groupies brains out for the hell of it. She also wasn't sure she was in either of those categories in his eyes, or anyone's for that matter. She would prefer to be seen as a woman, not a girl or a groupie. However, she still felt like 2D viewed her as a little sister, as a friend, but not as a woman who he could fall in love with in the future. And yet, at the exact same time she felt this, she also felt that from their interlude it was possible that he might just have felt that "something" towards her that she secretly hoped for. Desperation wasn't quite the word for it because she wasn't desperate, not in the slightest.

Touching her hands to her lips, Noodle pondered what it could be. Not a need, not a want, not out of desperation—none of these were the reasons she hoped for it so badly. '_I love him so much…I don't think my heart can survive without him._' She knew this did not mean that she would suddenly die if he didn't return the feelings she held for him as she'd, coincidentally, spent 6 or more years without him. What it did mean, for her, was that without him around in the future, now that she'd gotten some part of him returned, her soul, her heart, her being would be utterly broken. She needed him to be there, to be her friend in the end if all else failed. And right now she did not feel that connection with him as she had before. If there was one thing she wanted out of desperation it was their connection, his smile and her reply in one place. She wanted his happiness to return, his voice to soar, and his goofy grin to be authentic. She wanted him to be complete again. She wanted it so badly that, as she sat there in the lonely room, she would find the person who had broken his heart and return said person to him. If it would make him smile Noodle decided she would take that pain in stride. Whoever had hurt him this bad would have to pay but she would, first and foremost, make sure that his smile was once again bright, bold and real. If she lived through almost 7 years of Hell she figured she could live through the pain of him being with someone else as long as he looked at her as his old self again. She'd give anything to see that dopey but contented look on his face, if just for one more moment.

"This is getting me absolutely nowhere." Deciding that she'd done more than enough moping to last her a whole other month Noodle stood and made her way towards the outside of Plastic Beach. When she passed through the lift she noticed that the dingy entrance floor had been cleaned of debris but was still generously decorated with graffiti and profanity as far as the eye could see. The rusted red flooring made her scrunch her nose as she glanced about in disinterest that stemmed, mostly, from a lack of appreciation for the usual garbage that had always inhabited their home. In Kong it was common to see this: bags of trash, random collections of junk and various other useless objects littering the floor. Therefore she was not surprised when she'd returned to Plastic Beach and seen the same type of living style. After 7 years, amazingly, some things did not change at all. '_Things may not…but People sure do, don't they?_' This thought made her think back to a foggy set of lyrics she couldn't quite recall. Yet they circled her mind like water circling a drain, swirling but not completely clear since they were in constant motion. She vaguely recalled them recording a song with that title a long time ago even if she didn't quite remember the words themselves. Shaking it off, Noodle made her way to the door that led to the outside area of her home. She didn't want to go into the lighthouse today, or relax on the deck with its convenient umbrella. She didn't want to hang on the railing of the deck that was directly outside, fly the plane or use the boat. But she did want to get off the island.

'I _don't really know what I want to do…other than get away from this place. However…I don't want to fly the plane or paddle anywhere myself…I'm so lazy._' She was too tired and sleep deprived to have any remote interest in rowing herself to shore, or even using the motorboat. Flying required too much concentration and she only wanted to focus her attention on her rabid thoughts. Defeated, Noodle descended the staircase, two steps at a time, down onto the plastic, man-made surface that acted as the sand of their yard. Once there she sat at the very edge of the hard surface, a slight ache on her bottom as a result of the sand being completely false. She stuck her feet in the water, aggravation bubbling at the brim of her temper even as the cool liquid attempted to soothe her. It felt like no matter what she did there was no end to the animosity coursing through her, no end to the bitter tormented images that occupied her mind day in and day out. The only things that calmed it, that made it disappear for moments at a time, were 2D's soft, empty words. To her this was strange since the words were so hollow; it was, by no means, a permanent solution either. The fact that it was so temporary and ephemeral in nature caused her greater anxiety that she had predicted. Frustration built up within her little by little until it would blow up, usually in 2D's face. It made Noodle dislike herself. '_Then there's…it…her…the girl…'_

The Android. It was a great source of relief, irritation, jealousy, stifled acrimony, violent rage and sweet solitude for her. She hadn't fathomed that this thing, this machine, could ever become the vessel for such difficult and dark harbored thoughts. She wished she hated it more, that she could make it disappear or that she could kill it. Yet none of that was possible, she knew, because it wasn't real. It was artificial like her home. It looked like her even if it didn't necessarily act like her, which played a huge part in why she was easy to replace. Murdoc needed her guitarist skills duplicated, not her personality or soul. The Android provided the very skills necessary to further promote the Gorillaz even if they were incomplete because they were missing 2 people. While the outside world might have been indifferent to the fact that Android Noodle was not the real Noodle, she herself was more than upset about it. To her it was a slap in the face in regards to her significance as a part of the group and worse yet, as a part of her adopted family. Murdoc may not have given this much thought but she did every excruciating second of each day she spent planning an escape from the very bowels of Hell. Often times, to ease the depression, she would picture how happy Murdoc would be sitting with Satan and having the most exhilarating of chats about Satanism and what not. As of the late this did not, however, have the same happy effect as it should have to her off kilter psyche. Every inch of her being screamed out for her to punish him and teach him a lesson for what he'd done to her. It was his arrangement gone wrong that placed her in Hell to start with, of all things. If he hadn't unleashed the black skinned demon boy, made a jerk of a deal with Damon and Jamie, she'd still be the happy go lucky teenager, eventually turned woman.

Sniffling, Noodle refocused her attention on the android and its artificial manufactured body that was so much sturdier than hers was should something happen to it. The bullet hole glaring at her was a constant reminder of how it was immortal, with or without a soul. It didn't seem to matter that this man made thing had no heart or genuine personality. To the fans and even to Murdoc it seemed that this thing could replace her with relative ease, which only made the ache in her heart worsen. Compounded with the ache already weighing heavily on her in regards to 2D, Noodle felt like one more thing might make her collapse mentally and physically. Emotionally, she already knew she was unstable; therefore, if anything was added to that then she knew she'd have a pretty bad breakdown. Yet nothing was helping ease the feelings in her heart. She wanted to be better for herself and for the band, whether Murdoc remained an asshole or not. That was irrelevant. Although she knew the band wouldn't be making an album anytime soon she did know that they would, eventually. No one could afford to be as torn as they were at the present. Now that she thought about it, she'd barely even talked to Russel since her return. She'd purposefully avoided their fearless leader but she had no real reason to avoid their resident drummer; he'd always been good to her. She figured that had she had siblings, and known about them, she would've liked them to be like Russel. The drummer's story, she'd heard, involved Murdoc, a kidnapping and shipment over to Britain. How Russel managed to stay and not return to his original home she didn't understand, nor did she bother to ask him. He appeared mostly content with where he was. And she enjoyed his company, though perhaps not as much as 2D's. Nevertheless, Russel was a genuinely happy person, the only guilt ever eating at him cornered around his deceased friends, which she was sure weighed on him through the years. The façade he wore to hide this held up rather well. It wasn't as though he'd never spoken of it to anyone—he'd opened up about it during their interview for their famous book, "Rise of the Ogre." Yet Russel seemed the saddest when Del left, or disappeared.

Noodle let that thought go as she kicked at the ink black water where her submerged feet began to feel a little cold due to the water temperature. Dwelling on Russel's possible sorrows was probably not the best of ideas, even if it did take away from hers for a given amount of time. Her mind wandered to the Android for the 3rd time in a ten minutes time span and Noodle grunted in annoyance at her obsession. '_Demented…yes. Obsessed…yes. Fascinated…definitely not._' Her musings were brought to an abrupt halt when she heard heavy footfalls approaching. Craning her neck to the side, she nodded as the large shadow of Russel towered over her.

"Ohayo, Russel-san."

"Baby girl…talk to me."

"I guess cutting the bullshit is your specialty, right?"

He took a seat next to her. "Baby girl…what's goin on? You used ta talk to me all the time."

"Used to is right," she said without the faintest hint of sarcasm or disdain. Where she'd normally felt the urge to gush to 2D and Russel there was only indifference and dull interest. She felt bad for the response she'd given her father/brother figure; but she felt so empty she didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell him she was in love with their vocalist or Russel might flatten him into the plastic ground. She already knew that he was aware of how much she hated Murdoc at the present moment. What else was there to say? Speaking about the Android was an off-limits topic because that would surely arouse an interrogation and total invasion of privacy. Not that she saw the point in such a concept when she'd had none for the last 7 years. Sighing, she kicked her foot in the water. "Russel-san…there is nothing to say. I'm sad, and this place is foreign to me in every way possible. That's all."

He matched her sigh with his own. "That ain't what's botherin ya."

"I'll be okay, I promise," she replied as she pulled her feet from the water and made to stand up. Russel made no move to follow her, choosing to stare out at the horizon instead. "Russel-san?" He nodded to her. "What was…Del like, in real life?"

The question caught the drummer off guard and he didn't answer, though not because of surprise. Noodle had met Del before, back before they'd filmed their 19-2000 video. But she hadn't really asked him about the ghost before this. Struggling to stay on the topic of her and not his past, Russel shook his head. "Don't try an' change the subject."

"Russ…I promise I will talk to you…but not right now," she said, her mind not ready to discuss the images that wanted to rush back and pledge to become her undoing. She knew that she was going to need to tell them what was going on but she preferred to say it once, and only once, in front of all of them. Even Murdoc. Though, still, she would rather he go experience it for himself. Shuddering, she gave Russel a weak, uncertain smile that he accepted though they both knew everything was far from over. "Russel-san…did you…still want to get lunch?"

Smiling, he gave her thumbs up. "Come on, I'll pilot."

Sometime later found Noodle with a belly full of sushi and Miso, her hand rubbing her full stomach contentedly as she and Russel watched old videos on MTV. Murdoc had gone outside to drink himself silly, which neither had objected to; 2D had yet to surface from wherever he was hiding. Noodle found she wasn't so inclined to seek him out or to even look at him, for that matter. The television set blared a song by the band named "Flyleaf" as Noodle took a sip of her Japanese soda pop. She had always enjoyed trying to get the ball out of the top once it'd been popped down into the liquid. She'd also never managed to retrieve it. Giggling at this she turned to Russel and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. He grinned back and they began to reminisce on their many pseudo-games involving game controllers and them being characters for Murdoc and 2D to utilize. She was laughing so hard her sides hurt when they heard footsteps coming towards them. Both looked back in time to see 2D emerge from the dark shadows, his eyes downcast and body language demonstrating despair. Although her heart went out to him, her body screaming to comfort him, Noodle turned her attention back to the TV just as the song ended and "Korn" came on. Russel was talking to the singer but she paid no attention to him, the incident from the morning replaying in her head to cause constant disappointment. Without warning she stood and began to walk towards the lift. Russel blinked at her retreating figure.

"Baby girl…?"

"I had a lot of fun today, Russel-san. I fear, though, that I need some rest." Without another word she stepped into the doors of the lift.

Neither 2D nor Russel knew what to say in response as they heard the whine of the lift before it descended. It was 2D's turn to blink, scratch his head and turn his attention to the African America man. "Russ…wot's wit 'er?"

Russel just shot him a dirty look before returning his attention to the TV. 2D couldn't figure out why everyone was so angry with him, especially Noodle. Didn't he do everything she wanted? '_Well…come ta fink of it, I don' e'en know wot that' girl wants_.' Shrugging, he went back to his search of something to eat inside their refrigerator. Meanwhile, downstairs in the lower reaches of their rotting, cesspool of a home stood Noodle at the forefront of the Engineer Room. She could hear the hum of Android Noodle's life support. She was right above the cupboard and had the intense urge to descend the staircase, turn the corner and enter the brick red, double doors that held the machine captive. '_Wait…captive? That damn thing isn't even real,_' she told herself as she took small steps towards her destination. But this time instead of entering the doors she simply opened them as wide as they could go and stared. She stared at the Android as it sat there, mouth slightly open, lips dripping and looking positively stupid. The wires were continuously pumping oil into it, giving it some form of life that she deemed pointless and unnecessary. '_I'm back…why is he still keeping it?_' As she sat there looking at it she began to feel eerie. The more she stared, the longer she stayed there, the more the urge to rip it free of its confinement ran through her every cell. And before she could stop herself Noodle had leapt into action, her hands wrapping themselves around the chords and ripping them from their sockets. Each hole spurted oil at her in angry, desperate protest as she discarded them on the floor next to the machine. Suddenly she felt it making its way up her throat, like willful bile; a laugh burst forth from her lips. Noodle tried to suppress it but found she could not as fresh tears sprang to her eyes, trailing down her cheeks as she reach for the android and shook it.

"What the fuck makes you so special? What makes you better than me? What the hell makes you…what makes you?" She screamed at the lifeless Cyborg in her grasp, the tears still flowing as she collapsed on the floor, the Android in her arms. She wept, her body shaking with the sheer energy pouring forth from her slender, wasted frame. The machine felt heavy atop her, its full weight crushing her as she sobbed into its hair, the synthetic, silky locks becoming matted and slick. "Why can't I…why can't I get 2D to feel? Why can't I stop doing this with you?"

The android gave no reply and Noodle sobbed harder, clutching the machine like a lifeline as she held it close. However, moments later she had thrown it to the floor, rage filling her as she stared at its silent form lying haphazardly on the floor. Its hair was askew; arms bent awkwardly, eyes staring straight ahead without any consideration for her turmoil. Letting out a feral shout, Noodle's feet kicked its midsection, its legs, and its face. She brought her foot down on its arms in hopes to mar it in some way, to mess up the paint, to create a blemish like all the ones she saw on her own olive skin. Nothing worked—not a single scratch was given to her. The rage consumed her and before she knew it she had began to rip at its hair with her hands. She slashed through its clothing as best as she could, trying to make it look like a creature and not like her former self. By the end of her tirade she managed practically nothing, coming out of her one-sided fight with a few strands of artificial hair and a piece of its military inspired outfit. Her knuckle wounds had reopened, blood seeping through the bandages and staining her white t-shirt. Her nails were broken and brittle from so much tearing at its clothes, her feet aching from kicking it so violently. Worst of all, she'd barely come away with any success of her original goal. Instead, like it had before, the Android had won. Its perfect appearance remained, more or less, intact. She, on the other hand, looked worse for the wear. Internally, she felt exhausted and drained.

She didn't know how long she'd been there with it, abusing it and trying to, essentially, kill it. But at the end all she knew was she was dragging it into the lift towards, then, to the nearest bathroom. She said nothing as she walked by 2D and Russel—both whose mouths were hanging open as she passed—entered the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it. Inside the bathroom Noodle stared at her hands, noting the fresh scars on her olive skin, cuts and gashes as deep as the memories that plagued her. Then she saw the Android's hands, flawless and blemish free. Though they were metal, they looked soft and perfect. They were the complete opposite of hers at the present. The rage that had consumed her moments ago threatened to return as she focused on its untouched skin—everything she used to be. And she felt like a monster, ugly and foreign in her own body. Now, in front of the mirror, the Android next to her, Noodle could see every cut with a clarity she'd previously been missing. Staring at her broken reflection made the tears spring back to her eyelids, fresh and heartbroken as she observed herself. Every minute detail felt like a stab to her continuously crumbling self-esteem, a mockery of bitter truths she wished she could erase.

Her torn eyelid looked relatively minuscule most of the time but she could see how prominent it really was. The scar across her cheek was faint but still slightly visible in the dim, flickering yellow light. Her hair was limp and scraggly though the purple was still lush and luminous. Taking a glance at her hands and arms, Noodle pursed her lips at the ever fading burn marks and cuts that served as a testament to her days spent in hell. Shuddering, she closed her eyes to block out the, more or less, pristine image of Cyborg Noodle sitting silently on the toilet's lid. It said nothing, as usual, with a completely blank expression on its face, lips slightly parted in dumbfounded silence. She realized, in that split second, she hated it more than anything. '_But I need it…and I hate that I do.'_ Sighing to herself, she reached for the Android, hoisting it over her shoulders and making her way out of the bathroom. 2D and Russel were still there, both still gaping at her as she walked past them back to the lift. She ignored them as she made her way towards her room in search of the box she'd taken from 2D's room in his absence. Inside the solitude of her room Noodle began to do the unthinkable. She stripped the machine of all its military clothing, throwing each article into the rubbish pile in the middle of the room. It was more than a little irksome when she observed the 14 year old body Murdoc had blessed it with; it felt almost perverted to know that this is what she looked like and he had SEEN it. Biting back the urge to vomit right then and there, Noodle returned to her task at hand. With careful precision and the utmost twisted care she slid on the knee highs, the shirt, the coat, the jacket, the skirt and lastly, the duck hat. She was applying the blue eye-shadow to its eyes when she felt a sudden sense of déjà vu over take her. Stepping back, one hand flew to cover her heart while the other flew to cover her mouth.

It was her; her that everyone supposedly missed but no longer existed. Wearing the clothes she found, the Android looked the spitting image of the young girl Noodle had left behind shortly following the shooting of El Manana. As it sat there, quietly, she felt the horror build up and her last shred of hope drain. It was so simple. If Murdoc really wanted her phased out this was all he had to really do. A simple dress change would make it almost everything the old Noodle was. Personality differences would cease to matter as long as it could play guitar as well as she could. The fact that it had to constantly charge when it wasn't performing seemed a small price to pay for all the stress free positives it offered. None of the fans seemed to be affected by the fact that the machine looked so young, not caring that it was clear she hadn't aged over the years. The band wouldn't have to pay any extra expenses for it other than a generous supply of machine oil and electricity. If it was this simple she didn't see the point in trying to make peace with her band mates. The Cyborg had truly replaced her. Tearing her eyes away, Noodle held her face in her hands as the tears burned for release, pushing to fall over the brims of her tired eyes. All she could see was 2D moving on without her, his back to her. Her heart felt like it'd been incinerated, burned, stabbed with a dagger that was twisted to make its point.

'_I can't do this anymore…_' Feeling the despair taking over, Noodle fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around the machine. '_But…I think you may be all I have left to getting somewhere._' Knowing that she probably looked like she was losing her mind—she knew she kind of was—Noodle felt that in order to gain some semblance of who she used to be, such a feat would require something of the Android, though she wasn't sure what just yet. She hadn't counted on it being so important, especially when she despised everything about it. But she had found that since it didn't talk, it didn't judge when she did. Part of her knew it wasn't listening to a thing she said but the other part of her was content to pretend that it was. She was teetering dangerously on the edge of the fence between reality and insanity, neither of which she particularly cared for much these days. Her tie to the replacement had taken a strange masochistic turn and she knew it. The fact that she was so aware of all that was transpiring between her and the machine made for a sick transmission of feeling whole and feeling interlinked with something that wasn't real. It was her fantasy to look that way once again, to replace her battered self with the image of perfection and innocence everyone adored. She strived for it.

Gathering the Android in her arms once more, Noodle returned it to its haven in "Noodle's Cupboard" with the utmost carefulness, taking special care in placing it in a comfortable position. She waited silently for the lift, fatigue gripping her when the doors opened to reveal 2D gaping at her in concern. She gave him a half blank stare before she was pulled, rather unceremoniously she thought, into the elevator. She could only stare at 2D questionably when he did not press any buttons for the lift to go up or down and the doors remained open. Instead he just looked at her, fractured eyes unreadable. She felt her eyes getting heavier as they stood there in the silence, not really sure what his intentions were but so tired she didn't care. After a few moments passed with nothing said Noodle finally rubbed her eyes and coughed.

"2D-san…what is the meaning of this? I'm tired. I'd like to sleep now."

"Not until yew tell me wot's goin on wit yew an' tha' machine," he answered heatedly.

Though she abhorred the machine, she still couldn't bring herself to detest it the way everyone else had. Sighing, she placed a hand to her head as her headache grew; Noodle hardly ever had headaches. "2D-san…she's not a machine. Please…can't we discuss this later? I promise I'm not running. I'm just…very tired."

When she made to press a button to direct the lift somewhere, anywhere, his hand shot out and blocked her. Any other time she would have yelled at him. Instead, all she did was sigh and lean back against the lift wall. Moments later her eyes slid closed and she began dozing off, their conversation forgotten as exhaustion set in so heavily she could barely stand. Seconds later her legs gave way and she pitched forward, 2D barely managing to catch her. He began to panic as he realized that she wasn't just sleeping but was, indeed, fully unconscious, her head lolling to the side sloppily as he held her. His medication-addled brain searched for a viable option as he glanced around her filthy room, eyes narrowing to slits as his attention refocused on the Android. He could only gape at it in horror and sick fascination as he took note of everything it was wearing, its head hanging on its left shoulder while it was propped up against the wall. His mind only had one response once he'd spotted it. '_Wot tha fook is goin' on 'ere?_' Not wasting another minute he jammed his finger on the lift, counting the milliseconds it took for it to climb up to the floor where Russel was surely still seated on the couch watching TV. When it stopped he practically kicked the door down, shocking the hell out of Russel who, though shaken, only gave him a blank stare. 2D placed Noodle's limp form on the couch before turning his gaze to meet the drummer's worried one.

"Russ…"

"What happened to her, D?"

The blue haired vocalist shook his head. "Um…Russ…'ere somefink yew need ta see."

The drummer shook his head. "First, tell me what's goin on wit Baby girl!"

2D grabbed his head as the other man's shouts echoed in his ears. "Fook man…I'm tryin ta—

Both were surprised when Murdoc burst in, stumbling, his tequila bottle sloshing amber liquid all over the floor as he made his way towards them. "Dullard, shut yo face! Me 'ead is poundin cos all yer bitchin! And yew, Lards, betta start showin me some respect!"

2D shot them a withering look, his fractured eyes frustrated, as he beckoned for them to follow. He cast one last glance to make sure Noodle was okay before opening the lift doors. When Murdoc didn't follow immediately, Russel grabbed him, tequila bottle and all, and dragged him with them. They spent a short minute squished rather uncomfortably in the lift before it opened to Noodle's floor. 2D rushed out, Russel and Murdoc in tow though the latter was cussing and protesting like a screaming child throwing a tantrum. But nothing could've prepared them for what they saw. The tall singer stood silently to the side, lighting a cigarette as Russel dropped Murdoc mid tantrum. His jaw fell as he took in the image of the Android. Murdoc, for his part, was still drunkenly trying to stand and make sense of everything that had just occurred when his own hazy gaze landed on the machine. He paused, alcohol bottle forgotten as it crashed to the floor at his feet. His bloodshot, mismatched eyes widened in terror—his blood went cold.

"Wot the…bloody 'ell…?" He suddenly whirled around on 2D, who backed up as the older man jumped at him, shouting. Russel held him away from the singer's fuming form. "Wot the fuck kinda sick joke is this, fuckin face ache?"

"Joke?" 2D looked incredulous though the effect was lost on his bruised, red rimmed eyes and drugged glance. "Wot tha fook yew talkin 'bout Muds? This s'all yo fault, yew know! Don't accuse me of this!"

"Look, s'time to stop playin the blame game. Baby girl, clearly, ain't well. Muds, get rid of dat damn machine, now!"

Murdoc gave him a spiteful look before shaking his head. "The fuck I will. I made tha' machine. It's a piece of work, that is. Fuck yew, Lards."

"Don' yew care 'bout anyfink but yerself, Muds, yew selfish ass'ole?" 2D yelled back as the drummer kept them away from each other. Being the stronger of the 3 had its advantages but 2D was truly wishing he could deck Murdoc like no other. The sallow skinned man made another lunge for the blue haired man, this time successfully breaking free of Russel's grasp before taking 2D down to the floor with him. The two struggled, kicking and punching each other before Murdoc leapt back, howling and clutching his arm where his skin was bubbling. 2D glowered at him, cigarette smashed but still in hand as a reminder. "Come near me 'gain Muds, an' I'll burn yew, yew sick bast'ad!"

Just as the two men made to fight again, Russel knocked the wind out of them, his massive fists sending them to the floor. He was about to rough house them more in order to calm them when he stopped, frozen in place.

"Please…please stop it…" Murdoc and 2D whirled around, eyes ashamed at their behavior when they saw Noodle standing in the doorway, feather weight frame leaning against it for support. Her eyes were tired, body sagging against the doorframe as she tried to keep herself conscious, which was proving unsuccessful as her head rested on her chest. She brought her eyes to theirs, struggling to speak. "Please…don't fight. I…I just can't take it any...more…"

Her words died on her lips as she collapsed in the pathway. 2D rushed forward despite the ache blooming through his midsection and ribs, gently lifting her into his arms before she could hit the cold, hard floor. He gave Murdoc one last chillingly deathly glare before heading towards the lift. As the doors started to close his eyes narrowed hatefully while he held Noodle. "Next time…yew won't be so lucky, Murdoc, you filthy git. Next time…s'yo eyes."

On the floor by Murdoc's feet sat the cigarette, burning angrily in his face.

**TBC**

* * *

_(I suppose the next chapter focus will be Murdoc and Noodle since I barely covered him ANYWHERE in this story, so far. But yes, there have been some deadly exchanges between 2D and Murdoc—or there will be, lol. Oh, don't you love Russel? I love him so much! Oh…must go, time to write chapter 7! Thank you to all who R & R'd. You are the best in the world! ^.^)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: Um….yeah, I'm a jerk. It was weird but when writing this I couldn't figure out how to tie in the new "Rhinestone Eyes" Storyboard. It's hard but I'll either rewrite that part or leave it up to your imaginations since this story focuses on Noodle's mental stability and her relationship with the Android. This chapter is more 2D and Noodle but we get a little more Murdoc and Russel. Sorry it took so long…don't hate me, please? Hope those of you that follow enjoy this. Thanks. Off to chapter 8 now…and preparations for the Concert can commence!_

'_thoughts' & __**Flashbacks**_

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_On the cloud of unknowing  
My world seems open  
Every satellite up here is watching  
But I was here from the very start  
Trying to find a way to your heartAll the days are forgetting  
They've gone out with the tide  
Lost at sea somewhere, waiting  
Like setting suns at the rodeo  
Trying to find someone you'll never know_

_~Plastic Beach—Gorillaz Ft. Bobby Womack_

**Canvas of Imperfection**

No words could describe the anxiety 2D felt as he burst into his room, Noodle's limp form in his arms. Though she wasn't heavy by any means she did feel like straight dead weight as her head hung over the crook of his arm, which ached from his fight with Murdoc. His ribcage felt like it was bruised from Russel's punch but he refused to let it make him collapse for fear of waking the woman he held. He couldn't place the anger flowing through him like a river of polluted blood, the very essence of his upset infiltrating every cell of his body. He wanted to hurt Murdoc more than anything, to make him pay for what he'd done to Noodle and himself. But his compassionate nature never truly allowed this. A calmer, more rational and kinder part of him had already forgiven the man; he attributed this to Noodle. Even in her absence he'd felt like she was guiding him on the "right" path despite the fact that 2D wasn't even sure if he'd been on a path in the first place. For as empty-headed as he usually was, 2D knew he had no direction—according to society—for his life to go. His accidental, to put it mildly, christening into the band had been all at the hands of Murdoc though, to the day, the price, he felt, was a heavy one to pay in exchange for all the fame. Having blackened, abyssal eyes, missing teeth and bruises all over was not exactly how he pictured himself years later; that was just for starters. If he had to look back over the last 10 years he had to say that he never pictured his life where it was now. Not in this time, not in this moment with Noodle in his arms, not with her at all. He thought he'd be following all his crazy, spectacular ideas from his childhood. Whether it'd have been becoming a painter or an astronaut he didn't care which one. All he knew is that had he done any of that, he may never have met the beautiful woman in his arms. That she was younger than him by a good amount of years made it a little difficult to fathom, let alone commend; but he loved her, and that was what was most important.

'_I need ta fink…_' he mused. Noodle's form was shaking with the tell tale signs of a fever as she tossed and turned in bed. He felt helpless as shivers wracked her heat laden body, the cold compress barely keeping her body temperature at a decent level. She whimpered suddenly and he brought his hand to her cheek, running it softly up and down the expanse of that scarred olive skin. But it did not have the desired effect of soothing her; instead it caused her to thrash violently. Surprise overtook him as she kicked at him, fighting him with all her unconscious might before she bolted straight up. 2D fell back instantly.

Disoriented, Noodle rubbed her aching, sweaty temples. She could feel her hair matted to her head and looked down to see the cold washcloth lying in her lap. Uncertainty crept over her as she glanced around until her eyes met his. "2D-san…what…happened to me?"

"Sshhh," he soothed, taking the cold compress and placing it back against her head. "Yew fainted, love."

"I did." It was more of a statement than a question. She figured something had happened since she only remembered the ruckus occurring, then darting down to her room. She'd been "lucky" enough to burst in through the door in time to see Murdoc and 2D fighting. Fear had coursed through her, anxiety riding the waves transmitting through her brain, as she witnessed the vicious scene. They couldn't be doing this—she couldn't take it anymore. Sighing, Noodle slid back against the wall parallel to 2D's bed, her mind in a boggle, thoughts heavy with mood. She couldn't understand what it was that caused her more anxiety: their constant bickering or her memories of Hell. "I suppose, 2D-san, you want to know the truth of what happened to me?" The matter of fact tone of her voice coincided with the prominent nod of his head, informing her that it was time to spill her secret and all the horrors that followed. Shuddering, she beckoned him forward with her slim, olive colored finger. "I am sorry to disappoint you but…I cannot. I am sorry, really. I do not wish to relive such…things."

Her casual, nonchalant demeanor irked him and he proceeded to nod slowly though he had a million questions for her. Instead, he sat back as she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her lithe arms around them. He burned to know what had happened but he suddenly remembered her mentioning that some things were better left unsaid. He looked at her again. She was still sitting silently and resolutely on his bed, seeming distracted. "Noodle…I fink s'ok if yew don' wanna share."

"Thank you," she replied quietly right as a yawn began to escape her throat. "I'm exhausted. I wish to go to sleep again. Do you mind if I sleep here, 2D-san?"

Again, he wanted to bombard her with questions. But he did not ask this as he left her there, lying desolately on his bed while he went to fetch Murdoc and Russel. Luckily, neither had left Noodle's soon-to-be room, both standing there, still staring at the Android in utter, dumbfounded amazement. 2D made a disgusted face at the display while the Android remained limp against the wall; eyes open wide but staring into continual nothingness, its limbs at awkward angles. He wanted nothing more than to grab the Android and feed it to the wretched whale. Once Noodle had arrived at Plastic Beach he'd been more than relieved—not just because she was back. But since they'd put the machine away he'd felt a sense of peace and he slept better knowing it wasn't stalking his room and keeping him prisoner. Now he just wanted to get rid of it in any way possible; and then he wanted the whale gone as well. He had been informed that whale would not leave since Murdoc was still feeding him in order to keep an eye on 2D. Snorting, he rolled his fractured eyes at this. Noodle had told him that she was working on this but that it was hard since being around Murdoc pissed her off and she wanted to punch his lights out no matter how much she loved him as family.

Now that she was sleeping—peacefully, he hoped—upstairs in his room, he figured it was time for them to go back up to the upper levels and try to return to some normalcy. He casually, and somewhat tentatively, cleared his throat to grab their attention. Murdoc looked greener than usual as Russel dragged the bassist with him, steps heavy as he followed suit after 2D's retreating figure. Though the singer had yet to say where they were headed, the drummer was sure of one thing. Keep Murdoc and 2D separated or else there'd be hell to pay. Upon his return Russel had been pretty surprised to see that 2D stood up to Murdoc more than he had before but was even more floored in the last half hour when he'd threatened to burn out the bassist's eyes. They weren't, by any means, spring chickens anymore and their old age was catching up to them; therefore, he wasn't sure how many more fights either man could get into without seriously harming each other, especially Murdoc. The man was pushing it age-wise. With 2D well into his middle 30s, Russel knew that none of them, save for young Noodle, was in their prime anymore. Sighing, he was somewhat thankful when they reached the common area where 2D promptly walked into the lift, took it a floor up and slammed the door to the recording studio. The drummer could feel more than hear Murdoc bitching and so took him up to the patio where he threw his drunken leader onto a lawn chair. He was thoroughly disappointed with Murdoc but knew voicing it to the drunken man was a complete waste of time.

Russel departed the patio without a word, making his way down to his own room to think. As for Murdoc, he sat there on the lawn chair, already feeling hung over and wishing he had another bottle of rum or tequila. '_And some fuckin fags_,' he thought as he slumped back onto the chair. For him, everything that just occurred had been almost unreal; and he would've continued to think it such had it not been for the bubbling skin on his arm, courtesy of the dullard. He hadn't thought that, after all the years of torture and careful watch by the Android, 2D would've done something so brave. '_Or stupid. 'At dullard s'gonna pay,'_ Murdoc fumed, though it was half-hearted even in his alcohol-laden brain. He figured the man had only done such a thing because Noodle was here, and he had somehow found the balls to do it. Whatever the case, the older man knew that he wouldn't always be able to push around the cerulean haired man, not anymore. Being his age, the dullard was still younger and much more able-bodied even if he didn't generally have the courage to challenge anyone. If there was one thing he knew about his band mate, it was that 2D was pretty mellow most of the time, easy-going and spaced out 23 hours out of the day.

This seemed even more noticeable when they were in band practice. 2D was in the zone, as Noodle would say. '_And what 'bout Noodle?'_ Murdoc knew he'd be lying to himself if he thought he could continue his little charade in regards to Noodle, especially without an apology; or a formal one, at the very least. He knew Russel had been trying to get him to do it since her return but he'd adamantly refused since it "wasn't his thing" or "because he didn't feel like it." But telling Russel that, and trying to believe it himself, would only last for so long and time was wearing thin. As it was, he was lucky the large drummer hadn't beaten the shit out of him for holding off for so long. He was still pondering this when he heard 2D's voice drift out from underneath he recording studio's door, rising until it reached him at the patio level outside. The haunting lyrics of their most recent album seemed to be a constant reminder of all the wrong he'd ever done to anyone—especially them. In his older age Murdoc knew his time was running out and he knew that he would end up a sour, lonely old man without anyone if he kept the asshole routine in effect. '_But breakin 'abits is so 'ard,_' he mused to himself, thoroughly agitated that things had gotten to this point. He would come around but he hoped that by the time he did, Noodle was still willing to truly forgive him.

Downstairs in his room Russel was feeling depressed and missing his best friend like never before. With Del gone he wasn't sure how to deal with his anger anymore. His friend had protected him, even in death, and Russel felt empty without his presence there. Del had been like his brother, not just a friend. And now with his adopted family in turmoil he wasn't really sure where to go or what to do. It had taken forever for him to get to Plastic Beach and be able to go inside—being a giant as a result of nuclear mutation had its major drawbacks. But when he'd managed to overcome such a feat he was disappointed to find his family in the state they were in, especially since Noodle was all together absent from the picture. That 2D was lifeless and Murdoc was even more of a raging alcoholic than before was the cherry on top of the already fantastic discovery of what his life had become—fucked up, in a nutshell. When the result of Noodle's return was standoffish behaviors coupled with nonchalance, general disconnect and debilitating discontent he knew that they were a long way from Kansas, so to speak. '_How do we get back there?_' Being the brother and father figure of a young girl was hard enough; being both to a young woman was even worse, especially when—at this point Russel had no more questions—she was in love with someone 12 years older than her. And, consequently, someone who happened to be the lead singer and cover face of the famous Gorillaz, let alone someone who was considered family, was not exactly the best relationship development. The drummer already knew that Noodle had a crush but upon realizing it was their vocalist had just opened a whole new slew of problematic situations for them. Though he suspected neither 2D nor Noodle had voiced these beautifully destructive sentiments, he wasn't sure how much longer they could keep them quiet.

'_This is gonna make Muds restless,_' he concluded as he looked around his room with disinterest. He wasn't entirely sure Murdoc didn't have suspicions about their two other band mates but he didn't really want to see the other man's reaction to the official announcement of such a relationship. While in the past Russel adamantly refused to let Noodle and 2D even interact at a level inappropriate for a child and older mentor, he knew he was fooling himself in assuming she'd never grow up. However, he didn't quite think she'd take a liking to 2D who was so disconnected from reality that Russel couldn't fathom the blue haired man ever being with anyone for too long, especially not their Noodle. "How foolish of me, ain't it Del?" He whispered to the silence in remorse. Without Del, there was no one left to consult, no one left to really listen. Sighing, Russel hoped that Noodle was okay for now, until later when he could talk to her.

Downstairs in 2D's room Noodle was doing everything but sleeping. She was fidgeting, rolling back and forth on 2D's bed in discomfort and annoyance. She knew she should tell them what happened to her but the memories were too horrific for her to constantly relive—who would wish this upon anyone else? Rolling over back to face the window Noodle stared through it just in time to see the whale's eye fill up the view. She glared at it through the glass and when it appeared uninterested in her as its subject, it swam away. '_Probably searching for 2D-san. I am going to seriously murder Murdoc,_' she thought bitterly. At the present she still very much wanted to punch the living daylights out of him but seemingly never found true energy for it. Instead she continued to lie there in the silent, lukewarm air of 2D's bedroom, her mind wandering back and forth about her decision. After everything that had taken place Noodle was determined to tell 2D that she was in love with him. She wanted the fairytale ending but was prepared not to have it come true. She recalled her vow: if she could not be with 2D, she would gladly find the person who made him happy in order to restore that smile she loved. It all seemed less of a big deal when she'd originally came up with such a plan. Only now she felt like the biggest fool. '_Noodle, you fool,_' she mused bitterly. '_You know it's not that easy to let go of someone you've loved for so long,_' she scolded herself. She knew she was kidding herself with such a ridiculous plan, to think that she could just walk away from the vocalist as though she hadn't been in love—not crushing—with him for the past decade. '_A decade sure is a long time…_'

Flopping back onto her other side, Noodle stared over the edge of the bed in boredom as she continued to ponder her dilemma. '_And oh…what a dilemma I've got myself into, isn't it?_' she muttered to herself as she heard movement above her. For all it was worth, the haunting melody of 2D's forlorn voice did soothe her despite the ache it brought to her heart. Murdoc was unusually silent and she had also heard Russel go into his own room. That Murdoc was as quiet as he'd been was irksome but she didn't bother to try and figure out the reason; as long as he was silent she was happy. The words of 2D's latest melancholy tune of choice filtered into her ears, eerily and beautiful, torturing as it soothed, too. As accustomed as she was to these dual feelings lately, it didn't change the fact that she would prefer to just experience one since both led to confusion. On occasion, even annoyance and sadness, too. Sighing, Noodle brought herself upright into a seated position. She needed to figure out what she was going to do and soon. As it was she was already frustrated with where to begin on finding this woman, or man, who had broken 2D's giving, peaceful heart. Restoration of this precious treasure was her ultimate goal in life, for now. '_Perhaps…telling 2D I love him is not what is most important now…_' her thought trailed off when she heard the abrupt halt of his singing and then, seconds later, the lift making its way down. '_What the…_' her thought was answered when the door to his room was thrown open, catching her mid gasp, her body still upright. 2D was glaring but she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or just the room in general. When he simply stood there silently, his fists clenched and eyes still glaring, she wasn't sure what to do. Opting for the safe approach, Noodle cleared her throat semi-loudly to get his attention. He glanced in her direction, instantly startled, seeming to suddenly remember that she'd been in there the whole time. He shook his head before offering her a small smile.

"Oh…'ello, lil love. Didn' see yew 'ere!"

He had completely forgotten, she figured. Smiling at him, Noodle patted the space next to her to signal he should come sit next to her. Outwardly she knew she appeared calm but inside her stomach was doing flip-flops and her heart was hammering madly in her chest. She was about to put her plan into action and she already knew that it was ridiculous to pretend everything was alright when, clearly, it wasn't. But luckily for her, she thanked that 2D hadn't picked up on any of it. Instead, he simply fell down next to her, a dopey smile on his face just for her. Truth be told, 2D was more than happy to join her, finding himself the mellowest around her—if not, also, slightly aroused. She seemed quiet and reserved at the moment though her innocence still shined through, even if just a little. He hummed a happy tune as they both stared out the window. He had found that, with Noodle around, he was less and less afraid of the whale. Yet he still cowered and hid when it swam by on various occasions. Dismissing that thought, 2D turned his face towards hers to find that she too was looking at him, her bangs covering half her face and her torn eye while her other remained in clear view. She gave him a crooked smile followed by a nervous laugh when she realized that their faces were inches apart, noses almost touching. It was as if time stopped when she noticed that their current position was all too familiar. Noodle suddenly recalled their previous encounter on his bed the night before, their breath intermingling and her body needing more than just a glance from her male counterpart. Sighing, she figured it was best to cut such an interlude short to curb her loss when logic won over desire. She began to backpedal when suddenly his hands were cupping her face.

Alarmed, Noodle's eyes widened when 2D hesitantly brought his lips a scant millimeter above hers, hovering for a moment. Neither moved a tensed muscle, their ragged breathing the only sign that they were still alive. 2D had no idea what had come over him or his body when he'd reached out for her retreating form. The only thing he did recognize was a need to keep her there and he'd grabbed as the need surged through him at a ridiculously fast pace, like quicksilver. She'd frozen when he'd done so but he couldn't stop himself, bringing his lips down to hers but not touching them. When she didn't reject him or push him off the bed, 2D began to wonder what it meant. He felt his heart beating rapidly as he thought of the possibilities of her returning his affections. He loved her, he loved her more than he could even say or express. And it was all that intensity and fear that was holding him back from telling her right away. She was so broken and fragile; he couldn't hurt her. His reverie was shattered when he felt trembling fingers settle on his wrists and his attention was returned to the beautifully scarred woman before him. Noodle's emerald eyes looked terrified and uncertain.

"2D-san…I….I don't understand…" she trailed.

The logical part of his brain was pleading for him to halt his actions before he ruined their friendship. But his desire was slowly but surely winning over such logical thought processes the longer she peered into his fractured eyes. He couldn't explain it and he sure as hell didn't want to think right now, not when she was there looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming big rig. When he said nothing to her she began to pull away, her small, calloused but delicate hand leaving his wrist. 2D felt the connection disappearing and in a desperate attempt to keep it he yanked her back on instinct, bringing her plummeting into his stiff form where she collided and they both fell off the bed. This simple action seemed to awaken both of them and Noodle quickly stood, stuttering apologies with a hand extended towards the blue-haired singer. He, too, seemed to have come to but simply stared at her hand as if it had grown three heads like Cerberus. When he didn't take her offer Noodle apologized again before darting out of his bedroom; he didn't go after her. Instead, he sat there trying to discern why he hadn't actually kissed her. And what had overcome him that he almost had.

Meanwhile, Noodle had escaped back into her room where the Android was still sitting. She breathed a short sigh of relief that no one else was in her room and sat down next to her new "friend." Feeling lost and hurt, she leaned her head on the Cyborg's shoulder, the cool, hard metal surface bringing her little solace but offering her somewhere to rest her weary head. She felt confused and upset all over again, disappointment coursing its way through her; but this time it was followed with animosity and self-deprecation. Was she just a toy? She'd felt as such in the past. Satan had not wanted to fuck the living daylights out of her young body but he had done his share of having other people use her. Though she'd remained pure and untouched in every physical aspect, her will had been broken repeatedly, her mind convinced she'd been there for everyone else's needs. She was no longer a person but a thing to be handled as those creatures saw fit. The horrors in her mind, the ones that lived behind her bright emerald eyes, were enough to make tears spring back and spill over her eyelids on to her scarred olive cheeks. Sobbing, Noodle curled herself into the Android, wrapping its arms around her once again as she nestled into his uncomfortable chest, tears still falling. She wouldn't ever tell them what had happened to her. All she wanted was for the pain to go away. She glanced up at the imposter's perfect, dolled up face with the utmost disgust and anger. She was supposed to be as beautiful as the monster that held her, the monster that was her constant haven when things with her family now went awry. Sniffling, she sat up evenly with the Doll, her hand cupping its face for examination. She gently touched the Cyborg's hair, then her own; its eyelids, then hers; its cheeks, then hers; and so on until she'd touched every visible part of its upper body.

At the end of such an intimate session Noodle had to come one startling conclusion: she may be scarred and broken, but the Cyborg would NEVER be real. It may have been her perfect past image but it would never be her. The fact that it possessed her amazing guitar skills was wonderful but how long would it last before breaking down again? How long would the machine be of use before Murdoc had to create another prototype? In the end she knew that if she left the band it would all fall apart again, despite Murdoc's hack of a plan to keep it together. Therefore, it'd been established that he needed her breathing and in the flesh. What she couldn't understand was why Murdoc insisted on keeping it, especially offline when she knew he liked it better when the damned thing was operating at full capacity. It'd been lifeless for a year; why hadn't he reactivated it against her request? Murdoc wasn't one to usually listen to anyone else, especially not her. Perhaps from the guilt? It must've been, she'd surmised before. But now she was beginning to doubt her own assumptions regarding such a delicate matter. Didn't they realize what they were doing to her? Didn't they? Her mind screamed that they were a bunch of insensitive pricks, each in his own way. Murdoc had made her feel so insignificant that she could've been replaced so easily by an artificial creation. Russel made her feel like she had no right to be angry about what had happened. And 2D…he had made her feel the worst, catching her heart threads then dangling her over a pit of acid with his actions. It was the second time he'd almost kissed her but then, he'd stopped. Didn't he understand how much he was hurting her, playing with her, toying with her emotions and heart? Every time he pulled her in then threw her out into the sea made her feel worse and worse, any hope she had that he might love her diminishing with each instance.

'_Maybe…he doesn't love me…_' she concluded, noting how he'd expressed a major physical interest in her but perhaps, nothing more than that. '_Maybe…he just wants to sleep with me._' This thought was unwelcomed and left a sour, acidic taste in her mouth as she swallowed at the lump forming there. Her heart clenched and she stared at the lifeless cyborg before her. "Maybe…do you think that…perhaps 2D only wants my body?" The machine gave no response but she could've sworn she saw it smile evilly and nod. Freaked out, she threw it to the side where it landed haphazardly, limbs bent underneath its side and behind its back. It looked wrong lying there but Noodle felt the despair and irritation growing; she didn't care about the Android's position. She was seething now, her mind focused on the thought that 2D only wanted her body, that he didn't love her, that she was just the closest he'd ever get to getting laid again. Furious, Noodle stood up and brought her foot down heavily on the Android's side. Her rage rose and she continued to beat the machine though the end result, she knew, would be the same as last time. She kicked its side, its neck, its arms, then its face. However, she was pleasantly surprised and horrified to see that her last kick to its face had knocked the faceplate straight off. She let out a shocked, uncharacteristic shriek at the true image of the Cyborg's face revealed. The lights and machinery beneath it were non-operational; it looked like a real machine now, not a girl. That seemed to knock her from her sick, deluded mindset as she fell back on her bottom, her hands flying over her mouth in true fear.

This machine, this monster is what she'd been running to for the last month or so. This is where she'd been taking solace instead of confiding in her family. She suddenly felt extremely pathetic and sick. Before she knew it she had turned to her side and vomited again, the sick realization infiltrating every rational part of her mind and frightening her. Trembling, Noodle fought the urge to vomit again but lost miserably as more liquid spewed from her mouth, past her lips. The tears continued to fall as she heaved and sobbed altogether, her weak arms barely able to hold her up. Her stomach felt like it was going to come straight up through her esophagus, organ and all. She felt awful physically. Mentally she was tired and she could careless that she was going crazy. In fact, she blamed her upheaval on the fact that it was a shocking surprise more than that she was completely losing her mind. When it was all over and she smelled like acid indigestion, Noodle slowly wiped her mouth and scrambled to find the faceplate. Once found, she quickly put it back on the android's face, marveling for an instant on how it looked just like her all over again. It was as if the incident had never happened. She gave it a twisted smile, adjusting it back into a seated position, her hand glistening with vomit smoothing its hair out again before she stood and made her way to the lift. She needed to clean up. As it was her mind was going in circles, her brain operating on auto-pilot as she stood inside the lift, eyes blank and smile eerie. When the doors opened it revealed that everyone was sitting in the common area which led to the studio and patio. They all looked at her as she stepped out, that twisted smile still on her face. She was walking by them when Murdoc called to her.

"Oiy…yew, come 'ere a minute, will ya?"

She turned to him, her smile causing the hairs on the back of his neck to rise and 2D's mouth to gape. Russel looked uncomfortable and worried as he stood, Murdoc joining him while 2D could only keep staring. She was clad in the Android's old outfit, the beret with the bullet hole fitting snuggly over her long purple hair, eyes not in view and artillery hanging from her shoulders. The Ithaca shotgun in her hand looked intimidating but she was holding it facing upwards, her stance stiff. She said nothing as they approached her, her eyes still blank and glassy from her previous tears. Russel was the next to speak. "Um…baby girl…you feelin aight? You don't look so good."

She let out a sinister chuckle as she swayed from side to side, her eyes narrowing and smile widening maniacally. Murdoc raised a brow before giving her a suspicious look. "Oiy…get me my rum, right now." Russel and 2D looked at him incredulously. They both knew Noodle would NEVER get Murdoc his rum. She hated him that much. But everyone was floored when she nodded before running off, disappearing from view. Slapping his forehead, Murdoc fell back onto the jukebox while Russel's eyes widened and 2D hopped over the couch, panting.

"Yew see tha'? Summink ain't right, Russ!"

"Yo Muds…what just happened man?"

"I'll tell yew lot; tha' 'ere is one twisted girl," he replied solemnly. "She thinks she's the Android, tha's wots goin on 'ere!"

"Damn it Muds! I told ya to get rid of that damn machine! Now I'mg onna pound yo face in!" Russel began advancing on the older man when 2D jumped between them. "Outta my way D."

"Russ, wait!" He held his ground. "I…I 'aven't been…completely 'onest wit yew…"

The drummer stopped mid-punch, having already pushed 2D out of the way ; he'd already grabbed Murdoc by the collar at this point. "What you mean you haven't been honest?"

2D looked fearful and sickened all at once. "Noodle's been…visitin' tha machine all 'is time…I saw'er but when I asked, she freaked out 'er somfink…got kinda…crazy and started yellin at meh…I knew she wosn't awright but I…" he trailed off as Russel's eyes narrowed at him. "I'm sowry Russ…"

"You mean Baby girl's been going crazy dis whole time, and you ain't said nothin, D?" Russel looked more murderous than confused, if Russel could look that way to begin with, 2D thought.

"Wull…yeh…but I swear't wos an accident!" 2D wailed pitifully as he craned his neck to look in the direction Noodle had disappeared. "Wots gonna 'appen to 'er, Russ?"

Two pairs of eye landed on Murdoc as he hung from the drummer's large hands, mismatched eyes darting from one to the other. "Wot? Yeh expect me ta fix this rubbish?"

"S'yo fault, Muds!" Russel roared in the older man's ears. Murdoc winced but the dark-skinned man did not let up. "Muds, you lousy, no-good, shit for a conscience son of a bitch…you best be fixin this, and soon, or ima break yo nose…AGAIN."

That seemed to shock the bassist into reality, especially since he didn't want to have his nose broken yet again. The numerous, previous times this had happened was plenty to last him a lifetime. And at his age who wanted a broken nose? So he decided he would fix this but he wouldn't do it quietly, not at all. It was unlike him to go quietly into anything he didn't want to do, or that didn't directly boost his needs or ego. '_Kinda does tho, doesn't it?_' He mused. Having Noodle be "all-there" would definitely be a good thing should they decide to make another album in the near future, even if the Dullard was getting too old to be the face of the band. He could always switch them around for his own selfish purposes; and he probably would as Noodle would make a great replacement with her youthfulness. However, he'd have to do something about her face since her girlish features were marred by scars and she, even now, wore that ridiculous mask over her face. He hated it, mostly because, after all this time, he wasn't quite sure why she still wore it in public. At first he thought it might have to do with the fact that they still had the Android around; but then it became apparent this was not the case once he'd shoved her in the cabinet of the engineer room. Sighing, Murdoc batted Russel's hands away as he took a long swig of his alcohol. The looks his bandmates were giving him were all but comforting and definitely accusing. He didn't feel like giving them the time of day but if 2D really was as bold as he thought, then the stupid blue haired singer might burn his eyes out while he slept. '_Damn…wish me 'ah me Winnebago.'_ The thought died as Russel glowered at him, the scowl on his big face deepening and his all white eyes narrowing menacingly.

"Awright Lards, wot yew all standin 'round 'ere for?" Murdoc threw them a dirty look before going off.

Russel and 2D exchanged worried glances—though 2D's looked more lost than anything else—as they watched the Satanist disappear into the depths of his underground lab, his footsteps echoing as he descended the thousands of stairs. Neither really knew how to approach the issues, especially since Noodle was pretty estranged as it was. Russel could behave like the typical big brother/father figure he'd always been but he wasn't so sure that she'd be receptive since she thought she was the Android. As for 2D, he really had no clue how to go about any of it. He was afraid to death of the Android and he hated it about as much as he hated the whale. He would've just retrieved its bazooka and blew it up; but it wasn't the Android. It was Noodle parading around like the sick machine, made more obvious by the fact that the Android's clothes didn't fit her at all. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat, somewhat disgusted by the fact that, while she was in mental turmoil, he was thinking about her assets that shone through the tight, too-small clothing she now sported. With a squeak 2D made some lame excuse about going to the bathroom before darting down the lift and out of sight. Annoyed by the whole situation, Russel scratched his head while trying to figure out what their next step should be. Yes, Murdoc would have to try and convince the Real Noodle that she was human and not a machine. In the meantime, he decided he would put the android back into its cupboard; and lock it real tight so she could no longer have any interaction with it whatsoever. If he had known about her crazed obsession—granted he did, but now how deep it actually went—he would have thrown the Cyborg into the water, Murdoc fighting him inconsequential. He would've simply punched the bassist's lights out if he tried to save it.

Sighing, he too went to search for their recently crazed bandmate, hoping against hope there was something they could do for, quickly. In his room, 2D was curled up on his bed, tears burning his eyelids as he attempted to keep them from falling. It only made them burn more. He couldn't figure out how it had happened other than, he surmised, the cause being her incessant visits to the machine. Sure, he'd witness this countless times, heard her talk to it; but he didn't think she'd actually go…well, crazy. He didn't think she was crazy per say. He simply preferred the word imbalanced, as she'd taught him years before, since sometimes saying someone was crazy had an undesirable reaction. And it wasn't politically correct, apparently. At times like this, 2D really wanted nothing more than to pull every single piece of his hair out, mostly because it distracted him from everything else going on around him. This instance seemed to call for such an action but then, as he reached for a strand, he remembered something, though how he had absolutely no clue.

"_2D-san…where are you going?" _

_**He 'd mentioned that he was going to get a haircut. She'd looked aghast. He'd smiled at the young Japanese girl, her thick accent sounding funny even though she'd been speaking English for a few years now. He'd let it grow a little longer and was suddenly inspired to cut it when Noodle had shouted at him not to do it. As a result, he'd asked her to give him a reason as to why he shouldn't. **_

_**She'd simply replied, ""2D-san…I love the length and color of your hair. It makes you…unique."**_

_**Not known for the being the sharpest tool in the shed, he'd asked her what that meant. At first she'd hesitated, thinking of a way to explain it in logical terms—or so he assumed. Instead, she'd said, "It makes you…the brightest crayon in the box."**_

_**That he'd understood and a smile graced his lips. **_

The memory wasn't exactly painful to his drug-addled mind but 2D would be lying to himself if the memory didn't strike a chord of loss and uncertainty within his heart. So many questions swirled around his head, some more meaningful than others. Did he cause her to snap? Did he even eat breakfast that morning? Was that whale lurking behind the curtain? Would Murdoc ever fix Noodle? Did he love her? That last one made him sit up, albeit slowly and forlornly. In the grand scheme of his random thoughts, that one took the cake, in his opinion. He didn't consider himself a man of many words—that made sense anyway—nor did he consider himself a man of many romantic thoughts, or many thoughts for that matter. But this one thought stuck out like a purple crayon in a box of cerulean ones. Pausing, 2D began to ponder if, perhaps, she felt something for him too. Yes, he almost kissed her moments before she appeared posing as that wretched machine. But the look in her eyes was frightened, that he could see. "Wot if…wot if I wos wrong?" This statement, made out loud, seemed all the more true and he swung his legs over the bed, elbows to his knees and head in his hands. Had he ruined her? He blamed himself for her sudden snap, the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. He couldn't believe that the entire time she'd been with them since she'd made it back from hell and off that confounded boat, that he'd been such a fool. Now he wasn't sure they'd ever get her back. He couldn't fix it, he felt at a loss to do so. He was still pondering this when he smelled cigarette smoke drifting into his nostrils.

"Yew gonna sit there all nigh' like a dullard o'what?"

2D closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Murdoc right now. "Wot yew wont Muds?"

"She's callin our fer yew, face ache," came the quiet reply.

"Wot?"

Murdoc inhaled a deep, long breath off his cigarette, relishing in the nicotine as it hit his lungs. "Like I said, yew insufferable git, she's callin out fer yew. Righ' now. I though' I'd put'er straight, I did. Seems she's…lucid."

2D could only stare at the older man, dumbfounded. He had no clue what Lucid meant, in any context. But even more than that did he not comprehend what the older man meant when he said Noodle was calling out for him. As far as the vocalist knew she was completely mad, mental to the point where she'd never been the old Noodle again. Sighing, he glanced back at the surly man standing in his doorway. Murdoc seemed to be telling the truth, no hostility evident in his eyes despite the fact that 2D had burned a hole in his arm earlier that evening. Surely the bassist wanted to beat his brains out with a crowbar, right?

"Oiy, Dullard, don' think that I don' wanna bash yer brains in wit' a stick."

"Figures…" 2D muttered to himself as he returned his gaze to his knees, curious as to when this beating would occur.

Murdoc rolled his eyes, still smoking. "I ain't got time ta be babysittin yew, face ache. Go speak ta Noodle…she's callin yew."

With that he was gone, leaving 2D silently in his room with his irked thoughts of the young Japanese woman. He chanced a quick look at his door and the empty space Murdoc had occupied only seconds ago. Part of him really wanted to burst from the room and sweep Noodle into his arms; but this was unrealistic. Sighing again, he ignored the lift as it disappeared up, signaling that Murdoc had departed. It made no further movements and he knew no one was moving around, at the moment. Instead of going to her, defeated, 2D curled back up on his bedspread, eyes staring blankly at the wall.

Below him, Noodle was in a semi-lucid state, her eyes staring in mild disgust at the clothes she now wore. The Android was gone, nowhere in sight. But she felt like the machine was still very much with her not only in her thoughts, but its very presence seemed to be extremely close to her. She glanced around, seemingly paranoid, only to find that her room was empty. Yet she could swear she heard the Android moving around like a predator about to pounce its prey, stealthily, sneaky, like liquid quicksilver; and it irked her, making goosebumps spring up along her olive tinted skin. When she looked in the dirty, opaque mirror she saw a the Android sneering back at her, it's eyes full of malice. It was laughing at her and she could do nothing about it. Noodle wanted to punch the glass surface but knew she'd only injure herself more though this did barely anything to calm the urge as she cracked her knuckles in anticipation. And then misery. All she felt was jumbled emotions, conflicting as they fought an internal battle she didn't quite understand yet. Her mind was telling her to let go of the pain and become numb, to embrace the sinister thoughts passing through until they became whole. But her heart refused, crying out, fighting with everything she had to stay intact, to remain hopeful and positive even if she felt like she was dying inside. Her mind laughed: What do you have left, it seemed to ask.

Noodle tried to push the thought away but it seemed to become stronger and stronger. She hated the Android in that moment, thinking that, for a split second, the machine was stronger than she was, superior in ways she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Every part of her felt tired and drained from her head, to her heart, to her very limbs that supported her. She wasn't fatigued in ways she'd been after a vigorous workout or a heated recording session, nor even from a good long cry or a confusing argument with her band mates. Noodle was tired of life, most of all. And everything it had thrown at her. The fact that she'd made it back to the island and that Android had looked surprised upon her reappearance was one thing—Murdoc had reawakened the wretched machine after Noodle herself had come to—but having to see it everywhere she went was taking its toll on her. This was all granted that she'd been seeking the stupid thing out and yet this was besides the point, in her eyes. She would never have looked for it if the damn thing hadn't been invented in the first place. In a happy world she would've returned with Russel, seen the machine's surprise and killed it right then and there. She wouldn't have had to take off her mask and reveal her destroyed face to anyone, especially 2D. Sighing, Noodle turned away from the grimy refection of herself sporting army gear and a tricked out Ithaca Shotgun. Instead, she chose to look at her soon-to-be room for the thousandth time, it seemed.

"How should I decorate this place…?" She spoke to the silence. Rising to her feet, a smirk placed her lips.

Noodle went to work.

**TBC**

* * *

_(I'm sorry the focus was not Murdoc and Noodle…I have to get around to that but I'm not sure when. I'm also not sure I will elaborate on what she went through in hell because Damon and Jamie might end up filling that in soon, so…yeah, not gonna, for now. I really want to try and do a good job of capturing her transitional stages. Anyhow…I realize that this chapter is short—and maybe not even that good—but I hope you enjoyed it. I've been really side-tracked with work, school and adoring the Gorillaz and how I can go to the Concert…so…yeah, no real fan-worthy excuses. My sincerest apologies all. Thank you to all who R & R'd. You are the best in the world! ^.^)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: BIGGEST JERK EVER! Please...forgive me? I have no excuse to give so hate me if you must. You probably will by the end of chapter!_

'_thoughts' & __**Flashbacks**_

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_Oh stylo_  
_Go forth, blossom in your soul_  
_When you know your heart is light_  
_Electric is the love_  
_When the mako flies_  
_Up from the bottom in your eyes_  
_Then I know the twilight skies_  
_Not so broken-hearted_

_~Stylo-Gorillaz Ft. Bobby Womack_

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Decorating ones room, Noodle now realized on further inspection, required a certain amount of focus and sanity; sparing such things was hard at that moment. Seeing as to she hardly had any of either, it—simply put—made her job all the harder. When one was deranged it was hard to make a room look like oneself, especially when one suddenly had become two-selves. Coming back to Plastic Beach would've been a dream come true had she not had to look upon another version of herself, one that was, more or less, insane and a slave at that. Sighing, the sane part of her argued that artillery and military weapons were not her style. But the less rational part, the one that was convincing her to be more like the Android—since it seemed everyone loved the damn machine—told her it would fit perfectly into her new persona. Aggravated, Noodle slumped against her wall, feeling lonely and even less sane now that the Android was no longer around. What had happened to it had made her curious; but she dared not ask Murdoc where it had disappeared to. In fact, she was pretty sure he wasn't the one who had removed it from her room. She wanted to think that it had been 2D, her sadistic savior, and yet something told her it wasn't him either. For as long as he'd suffered the guarded watch of the Android, she highly doubted that he'd come anywhere near it again. So her last bet landed on Russel, her father figure as of the late. She was sure it was him.

Despite all this, Noodle continued to wonder how to decorate her room. '_Well, OUR room, really,_' she mused as she glanced around. The fact of the matter was that, to her, she was indeed sharing a room with another person. She was glad to be rid of the android, if only physically. But another part of her was sure that Murdoc liked the Android better and that they were all used to it; so why not become one with the damn thing? Sure, it seemed like a sick thought but Noodle knew better than to think she was all together there in her own mind. Who was she to judge such morbid, irrational thoughts? Sighing, Noodle placed the Ithaca shotgun against the wall where it rested heavily, barrel making a loud 'thunk' as she let it go. Her old clothes had been stripped off the Android again and were folded in a neat pile next to where she'd just put the shotgun. Scowling, she reached for the duck hat, momentarily surprised when she saw "the mask" drop next to it, worn, breaking and dirty. She stopped for a second, staring at it like it was alien to her before grabbing it and slowly bringing it up to her own face, covering the scars from an audience that wasn't present. As she cupped it to her damaged facial features, Noodle felt like a blanket of irking serenity overcame her and she relaxed, if only a bit. However, she knew such things were not to last as she had been trying, diligently, to put the mask to rest before she'd had her transformation, as it were. Sighing, she placed the mask back on the pile, gathering it up and going in search of the protective box it had been kept in all the years prior to her return. 2D had done a miraculous job of cowering under Murdoc's wretched hands; and yet he'd managed to keep some part of her safe, and it amazed her.

However, that alone was not enough to stop what had happened. Struggling to not choke herself with her own two hands, Noodle tried to contemplate whether it was a smart idea to deny this. On one hand the idea of silencing her own body and mind felt like a relief to her aching heart; the other half wasn't so willing to give up when she'd just started to live. Even if 2D's love was unattainable at the so-called finish line, she could at least be near him until someone came, stole his heart again and took him away—for the time being anyway. As it was, his heart was nowhere to be found. His abyssal eyes were the only thing that continually reminded her of such a state. With a twisted, renewed vigor, Noodle placed the contents in their newfound home and shoved it unceremoniously into a secluded corner. Once done she returned to her task at hand, beginning to hang random artillery on the walls alongside pictures of recently rummaged and rediscovered items that fit her other personality. Next to the prized Ithaca shotgun sat a large paper fan, stolen mercilessly from 2D's room prior to her discovery of the missing Android. It looked odd sitting there, the large red paper fan contrasting beautifully against the menacing black of the metal murderer. She felt like this combination quelled the warring part of her heart and mind in a way that could not be silenced by mere death. The compromise of her two minds seemed a practical, if not absolute and only choice, method to satisfying the rage simmering beneath the surface of her olive visage. Her decision to split the room into two sides seemed reminiscent of some American Cartoon villain she couldn't quite place, which also seemed to be a ridiculous thought for the time. Shrugging, she returned to mounting the complete opposite decorative items about the room, hoping that she would be done in time for dinner. Despite the fact that the Android never craved dinner, Noodle couldn't say the same for her human half.

Therefore, some hours later, after plenty of work and no interruptions, she found herself more than halfway done with her room. Satisfied at what she'd accomplished she dusted off her hands and made her way to the upper reaches of Plastic Beach, intent to fill her grumbling stomach with something other than the demented solidarity that lingered around whenever she was alone for too long. To her surprise she was floored when she ran into Murdoc, who was standing in all black at the entrance of the common area. The Astronaut with the skeleton head seemed to be laughing at her as she stood, frozen in puzzlement, in front of their band leader. He was giving her a peculiar look, as if gauging what to say to her, when she shot him a dirty look. At this his mien immediately changed from perturbed to what she considered amazement, before settling back into strange assurance all at once. If she was surprised then, it was nothing compared to her reaction when, without any warning whatsoever, a hand wrapped around her shoulder and yanked her backwards. Noodle let out a shocked yelp as she stumbled, landing disgracefully on her bottom and coming face to face with their fearless leader. Her left eye, not covered by her bangs, was wide as she stared up at him, mouth agape like a fish. Murdoc seemed to be studying her intently, which explained her inability to snap at him. A few more moments passed before he stood up and began walking away from her. She was still recovering from her shock when he turned around and looked at her again. He seemed to be pondering what to say to her when she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Where is 2D?"

He looked thoughtful. "Noodle…"

"Yes?" She answered quickly, her emerald eyes furious.

"Hmm…'at Dullard is downstairs…why?"

"I want to see him."

"Eh…'e don' wanna see yew." Murdoc's reply was firm and cold, but didn't seem quite sincere to that aspect.

Somewhat confused by the contradiction lying in his tone and words, Noodle could only stare. "I don't…I don't believe you!"

"Stop yer blubberin," Murdoc replied bitingly. He had been pretty sure he was dealing with Noodle and not the rebellious Android. He was definitely sure when she'd yelled at him. "Face ache is in 'is room, whinin. Why don' yew go'n get'im?"

With that he departed the room, leaving Noodle alone in the almost complete silence, the humming of the fish tank the only sound. She couldn't hear any other noises, no other occupants in the area. Even the recording Studio was silent, which signaled that none of her "family members" were present. Murdoc had disappeared behind his bookshelf, no doubt to his secret lair, while Russel was conveniently absent. It seemed her last option was to find 2D, the nagging feeling of doing so persistent in her head and heart. Instead of heeding it, she detoured into the quiet, solemn Recording Studio, wanting to disappear into a dark void. Her mind was drawing consistent blanks as she sat at the synthesizer, hands in her lap as she tried to think of a tune, anything but 2D's heartbroken expression. Yet no matter how hard she tried it remained, burned into her mind like her brain had been branded with the image. '_Why_ _do I feel so bad? He hurt me, dammit…_' she mused bitterly as her thought returned to the scene of offense, the one where he'd almost kissed her. '_Almost…bastard…_' She paused at this, emerald eyes darting over the open window of the studio, focusing on the darkening night sky. She could see stars shining brightly since Point Nemo was in the middle of nowhere without an obstructions. They sparkled, and previous to now, she was sure she would have found such a view magnificent, gorgeous even. But cynical thoughts plagued that hopeful view into a dead ground. Looking away, Noodle felt like crying but couldn't seem to find the actual tears within her. It was as if the well of her emotions had dried up from drought. '_Which…isn't entirely off now, is it?_' She was thoroughly convinced the "Drought of Love" had consumed her and she would forever be a dried of rosebush, thorns still ever present but beauty gone with the summer breeze.

"And now I'm spouting poetry to an invisible audience…" she whispered to no one in particular. Resigned, Noodle put her head down, resting her chin on her crossed arms as she stared out the window, lost in her wandering thoughts.

Some hours later found 2D wandering around the upper reaches of his home, groggy, drugged and generally foggy-minded. He seemed to be, more or less, lost though not in his thoughts as one might assume. He was actually just lost. He couldn't remember, for the life of him, where it was that he was trying to go or what he was trying to find. His mind seemed to be swimming in confusion, like a bunch of colors swirling in one huge mass had swallowed his brain right up. This is why, of course, he found himself in the common area, puzzled and staring at the jukebox in awe. It was alight with its bright neon colors, not playing but making whirring sounds as it turned the CD and vinyls over in its case. The silence would've been more irksome, troublesome even, but 2D found it eerily soothing as he glanced around the empty area. He had seen no sign of Russel for hours; and no sign of Murdoc since they'd last spoken. However, he couldn't fight the sudden urge to peep into the recording studio. What he found there made his jaw drop but he managed to stay relatively quiet as he stared. Noodle was bent over the synthesizing board, asleep it seemed, with the Android's clothes fitting, still, too tightly on her lanky but surprisingly curvier form. Her silhouette seemed leaner than usual but he could still make out her slightly more girlish figure in the opaque moonlight streaming through the large studio windows. Her even breathing was quiet for the most part, the occasional whistle escaping her slightly parted lips instead of light snores. 2D's drug-addled brain struggled to make the connection of leaving and pursuing, the opposites not sitting comfortably in the fog that surrounded his mind. He almost took a step forward but quickly halted when she seemed to come to, also seemingly unaware that he was there in the doorway. Instead, she paused, rubbing her tired eyes before blinking sleepily at the synthesizer board.

"Say…" she murmured. "Do you think 2D-san would even…talk to me anymore?" He almost blurted out that such a question was utterly ridiculous when she spoke again, her voice bitter, sinister even. "_Why would he do that? You're always hysterical…nothing like the Noodle-san he remembers_." The bite in that tone of voice seemed queer and sent chills up his spine as he continued to listen to her. "Yes…I suppose you're right…" Again, her voice changed. "_Yes…I'm all you have now, Noodle-san. No one will ever have you without me near._"

"Lil…love?"

Her head slowly turned to him, as if processing that he was actually standing there—or if she'd been dreaming. Upon realizing that 2D was indeed there, in the flesh, her face dissolved into blankness. "2D-san…yes?"

"Yew…awright?" He seemed perturbed, though the expression was harder to understand as he looked the same as always.

Noodle nodded. "Hai." She continued to gaze at him with her nonchalant face for a few more moments; but when he made no moves, she hopped of the stool and walked past him through the door. For the briefest of moments their shoulders touched and she gazed up at him, eyes searching his for something. Seconds later her face went placid again, and she seemed to revert back to the Android's creepy personality. She shot him an evil grin as she poked him in the chest. "_I'll be watching you...prisoner."_

The mere term made 2D stop dead in his tracks, terrified eyes following her disappearing form as it vanished behind the bookcase to Murdoc's underground lair. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise as he heard loud footsteps descending the stairs to the patio. He looked up in time to see Russel's massive form exiting the stairway. He blinked, hoping the fear would not show to the drummer but it was far too late. Russel was eyeing him questioningly.

"Yo 'D…you aight?"

2D shook his head. "Russ…s'gettin worse. Noods…she jus' threatened me…as'tha Android."

Russel could only give 2D a weary shake of his head. "Muds…I'm gonna pound his face in fo' dis…" The drummer seemed intent on beating the bassist senseless at any given opportunity and 2D knew he had to stop him, despite everything.

"I wos finkin, Russ…maybe we should…talk ta Noods…see if she is…mo'receptive…or summink…" The dark-skinned man appeared to be thinking it over and 2D breathed a short sigh of relief when Russel nodded. "Awright…so…yew gonna go first?"

"No, 'D…you gonna go first."

"Wot? Yeh but I…" 2D gulped when Russel gave him the death look. "Why?"

"Much as I hate to say it, 'D…yo' the reason she snapped…not Muds." 2D didn't seem to comprehend what his friend was saying but finally agreed, whether out of true understanding or defeat not seeming to make a difference. Russel just seemed determined to make 2D fix everything. He glared at the lanky vocalist for a minute before letting out a heavy sigh. 'Look, 'D…just…go talk to 'er. Somethin tells me you is the only one who can fix dis."

Defeated, 2D nodded and turned away, making his way towards the general direction he thought Noodle/the Android may have went after disappearing into Murdoc's lair moments before. He had a strong feeling the split entity made its way into Noodle's soon-to-be-room-was there a door connecting the lair to her room?-and decided that it was the best place to start. All was quiet as he made his way down the lift, an eerie feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as it opened slowly on Noodle's floor. The silence that encompassed him as he stepped out seemed stifling, as if invisible hands were beginning to wrap themselves around his throat as he approached the door at the end of the hall. He couldn't hear a sound coming from her room, not one; this irked him. And 2D was not easily irked since he fell asleep to Zombie movies every night of his existence on earth. Carefully, and with a large amount of hesitation flowing through him, 2D pushed the door open, noting the quiet that rolled out in his face in thick waves. He glanced around, blackened eyes searching for some form of life in the dimly lit room when he heard a chuckle from the right of him. He quickly turned, his head beginning to pound at the quick action, and came face to face with Noodle leaning up against the wall next to the Ithaca shotgun, which was resting on two metal hooks above her head. Her face was in a twisted smirk though her sparkling emerald eyes seemed soulless as she beckoned to him with her lithe, delicate fingers.

"2D-san…what brings you here…so late at night?"

He gulped, not sure he was comfortable with her tone of voice, or the way she was looking at him. In fact, he would've rather preferred the predatory glance of the Android to the empty, placid gaze she was directing towards him. Her body language did not signal any hostility, but then again, to him, it signaled very little of anything regarding life. He stood rooted to his spot though he'd completely entered the door. Yet he made no move to further approach her distant figure. He wasn't sure where the dim light was springing from as he didn't see any lamps or lighting of any sort. Seeming to sense this, Noodle languidly pointed to a stand in the corner to her far left. He blinked as she shifted her position, resting all her weight on her left hip as well.

"Candles, they're useful when one doesn't have lamps."

He nodded numbly, still not sure what to make of her current state of actions, let alone her state of dress, which consisted of a tailored version of the Android's outfit though now it looked less revealing. Her lips were also stained in that red lipstick she'd sported upon her return, and the shimmering purple eye-shadow on her eyes accented the highlight of her olive skin. Had this been any other situation 2D would've admired her stupidly, maybe even let her lure him into her soulless gaze. But she was not only Noodle; and he would not be sucked into the Android's games. He was still utterly terrified of that creature. Nodding at her indication of the candles, he decided it was best to just leave her be for the moment since he had come to speak to Noodle, not the split personality she was sporting these days. He made to leave when the door was slammed shut before him. Disbelief placed his features as he looked into the emerald eyes of Noodle, her brows knitted together and door still tightly on the handle.

"Where are you going 2D-san? You did come to see me…didn't you?"

He gulped audibly, his voice squeaking as she began walking towards him. He back pedaled at her actions, not really paying attention to where he was going; not really sure where he'd end up until his back hit the wall. "Yeh but…yew seem tired. Though' I'd…leave yew be fo'while." He scratched his head when she said nothing. "S'ppose I should go now. Yew be awright. Sowry ta bother yew!"

"_Don't be so ridiculous…"_ came the hushed reply even as the young woman trapped him, both her arms on either side of him like a cage as she smirked up at him. He wasn't sure now if he was looking at the Android or his beloved Noodle. She seemed to have Noodle's eyes but that smirk made him think otherwise. He cringed as she sidled up to him, her body brushing against his in areas that craved her touch but were disgusted by the Android's inhumane presence. 2D felt his lower lip shaking when she stood on her toes and breathed him in as if he were her next meal. In the case of the machine, he believed that to be the case. Trembling, 2D bit back a cry of fear as she leaned in closely, her lips lightly moving past the shell of his ear as she released a low, uncharacteristic giggle. "_Prisoner…I'm glad you've returned. There are so many more games we haven't had the chance to play…_"

2D let out a yelp as she slammed one of her hands into his shoulder, shoving him into the wall even though there was no space left between him and the hard surface. She let out another sinister chuckle as his eyes widened in fright. He could barely move, his heart beating so fast he thought it might burst through his chest cavity. And then the headache began; first a dull throb that eventually mutated into a heavy pounding that made tears of pain spring to his red-rimmed eyelids. His shoulder ached but he couldn't focus on that pain when his head felt like it was going to explode and she was looking at him like she wanted to sink her teeth into him. There was nothing sexually charged to her gaze. Mostly malice and sadism could be seen in her eyes, which he was used to though, nonetheless, afraid of. His mind did a complete 180 when she suddenly removed her hand and backed away, her eyes glazing over in sudden confusion as she glanced up at him, her green spheres portraying loss and puzzlement. He could only stare at her, solemnly, while she seemed to reorient herself to their surroundings, her purple bangs rocking back and forth on her forehead as she peered around them. He wanted to reach out to her, more than anything he did. But he was scared of her, not sure which Noodle he was dealing with in that moment. And he sure as hell didn't want to risk re-inviting the Android back into the semi-secured space between him and the young woman he loved.

"2D-san…what…what're you doing down here, in my room?"

He was at a loss for words, again. Sighing, he rubbed his aching temples, wishing he had his pills right then and there. "Summink…Russ told me ta…come check on yew…"

"Oh…did…something happen?" Any bad blood between them seemed to have disappeared as she stared at him, eyes wide. "2D-san, are you feeling alright? You don't look so well."

"Need me pills…" he trailed as he wracked his throbbing brain for their location. They weren't in his jacket pockets or his jean pockets. "Mus'be in me room…fook…"

She continued to stare at him, uncertain as to what she should do. Part of her wanted to help him through the peril of his constant migraines but another part of her wanted to shout at him to get the hell out of her private cache. She couldn't remember him coming into her room and assumed this was because she was asleep. She never gave the Android a second thought. Not having it there physically seemed to erase the notion that it still existed. 2D saw this confusion on her face through the haze of agony dominating his head; his heart began racing. '_Muds wos right…she's…lucid,_' he thought, realizing, albeit rather slowly, that she was indeed not all together there. His heart suddenly ached terribly as he discovered the woman he loved was losing her mind, so to speak. Not sure what to do now that she was in and out of reality, he continued to stand there, wanting nothing more than to disappear from her view. She still appeared to be piecing things together when a sudden frown placed her face. 2D could only shift from foot to foot in the silence.

"You…you didn't come here to visit me, then? Just to check…Russ asked, right?"

He nodded slowly, unsurely. "Yeh but yew…s'not totally my reasonin…"

She scowled. "Well, I'm quite fine, thank you, 2D-san. You can tell Murdoc-san and Russel-san that I do not require any…supervision. I am not a child."

He blinked stupidly, fractured eyes still unsure as to his next course of action. "Yeh but…" She shot him a disgusted look and he faltered. "Awright well…I'll jus' be goin then."

"You lied…"

He whirled around though the movement made his head pound and nausea rise in his stomach. "Wot?"

"You lied…you came down here to…" she spun around to face him as well, a pleading look in her usually unreadable eyes. "Please 2D…tell me you lied…that you didn't just come to check on me." He didn't really know how to answer her plea and felt another wave of nausea making its way up through his esophagus, begging for release. He did not grant this as Noodle stumbled towards him, her eyes glassy as she clutched his forearms in fear and loathing. Her glassy eyed gaze turned into one of distaste and anger at his lack of reaction. "You…you're just checking up on me…because Murdoc-san needs a guitarist. None of you care, do you?" 2D, still paralyzed by the sudden change in personality and emotions, said nothing. Noodle became frazzled. "I hate you, all of you. None of you care about me, or what's happening, none of you love me…she really has won…hasn't she?"

The desperation in her voice seemed to snap 2D out of his stupor and he shook her hard despite Mike the monkey playing the bongo in his head. "Wot? Stop sayin'at! We do love yew, lil love!"

"You," she spat scornfully, "have a funny way of showing it, 2D-san!" Then it came out, like verbal vomit and Noodle was frantically shouting at him, her form trembling within his grasp, horror filling her eyes at the words coming out of her lips. "Is there anything you like about me? Is my body that repulsive that you can't even kiss me, just for an easy fucking lay? Are these scars marring your perfect perception of what a woman should look like? You are a fucking coward! At least if you're not going to sleep with me, then stop teasing me and pretending to care!" To her continued horror 2D seemed to be about as surprised as she was. By the time she was done, her hands had flown to cover her mouth as she red tinted her entire face. Whether this was from embarrassment, anger, shame or some other emotion, both he and she were completely unable to discern it now.

She would have made to apologize, the guilt seeping into her, but had little to no time as her back was slammed against her wall and she felt 2D's hands all over her. His lips were bruising her own with such intensity she found herself seeing stars. Her own hands were digging into his hair mercilessly, her mouth opening to his as their bodies pressed so close together Noodle thought she was melding with him. '_Isn't this…what I wanted?_' Her mind refused to succumb completely to the action—because it wasn't wholly welcomed. It had been surprising yes, but it had not be necessarily welcomed. In fact, all the emotions pouring into her from 2D's lips did not seem loving in the least. She could taste anger and fear, upset and betrayal, lies and shame. Right as his hand reached for her shirt, Noodle pushed him away, roughly. She glared at him despite the tears threatening to fall. 2D looked more than ashamed; he looked distraught but equally angry with her. Instead of saying anything to him she turned away and felt the tears burning her eyelids so harshly she thought they might be made of acid rain. She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to feel the animosity toward him that would make it all okay for the time. Yet none of it came. All she felt was disappointed, and crushed, by fault of her own, as well as his. She had finally received her desired kiss and it felt emptier than anything else. '_It wasn't even a kiss, was it? It was a desperate attempt to shut me up! No…wait…that's not it…' _She sighed again as she heard 2D move, slowly, behind her.

"Please…just go away."

"But Noods," he replied quietly, "S'not wot yew fink…I swear…I jus' though' tha'…."

"Not another word. Please…" she half turned to him, hair shrouding her face. "Just leave me alone."

Yet he remained, rooted to his spot and unsure of whether to really listen to her, or not.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the upper reaches of their synthetic homeland, Russel and Murdoc listened intently to the scene downstairs. It wasn't as if they were afraid to join in the argument that ensued between Noodle and 2D; but rather they figured he was the only one who could fix it. Murdoc had admitted this, begrudgingly, to the drummer, all the while hoping his precious Android hadn't really been destroyed. But one look at Russel told him that the machine had probably been thrown overboard, short-circuited and sank to the bottom of the endless ocean around him. Having his nose-broken again seemed too-big a price to pay for a piece of machinery, though this was questionable as the Android was more than just a machine to the Satanist. Sighing internally, he kept his ears alert incase the situation changed. So far it seemed as though 2D was only making things worse since Noodle had already asked him to leave. They'd both heard a slight ruckus but weren't exactly sure what had transpired. Was Noodle tearing the room apart? Was she bashing 2D's face in? Neither of them really knew but they decided against asking, not really wanting to risk what might happen should they, too, infuriate the young Axe Princess. However the anticipation grew when they heard silence ensue after the loud banging noises and such. And silence usually meant something else had gone awry, more than it already was. Murdoc figured ignoring the situation was best; but upon Russel pointing out the nasty repercussions, he had to pay more attention to it.

"E're quiet down 'ere."

"Ya think?"

Murdoc let the sarcastic response go, not wanting to fight with the drummer for he would surely lose, even if Russel was good at controlling his temper. The quiet atmosphere was suddenly interrupted by the lift coming up; both men would've scrambled to appear normal had the lift not stopped one floor away from its previous resting place—and had they not been who they were. When it stopped just above Noodle's floor, both them realized that 2D had returned to his room. Even with Plastic Beach being so vast they were sure they would've still heard Noodle's sobs or 2D's pitiful whaling or sorts after such an event. However, no such complaints followed. All was still deathly quiet below them and both men looked at each other; Russel weary, Murdoc peeved. It would seem as though nothing had been solved save for a few punches thrown, and, more likely than not, rightfully deserved. And yet this did not sit well with either man, for it signaled that there was still a long way to go where reconciliation was concerned.

"Yo Muds…go check on baby girl."

"Wot tha fuck? I'm not doin 'at, Lards!" Murdoc roared, suddenly finding his voice despite the fact that Russel looked positively murderous. "I like bein alive, thanks!"

Russel rolled his eyes. "Muds, she's only gonna kill ya if she ain't da Android." Murdoc raised a brow. "I doubt she's Noodle right now anyway."

Murdoc still refused to go, digging his heels in, figuratively. "I ain't doin 'at."

Sighing, the drummer decided he would venture on down, calling the elevator up to their floor. What awaited him below seemed ominous but he doubted that it was anything to be physically afraid of—even the Android didn't intimidate him. What he didn't think he could deal with was an emotional young woman turned basket case, or an emotionally challenged and voided middle aged man. His choices of 2D or Noodle were both bad, in a manner of speaking; both were species to avoid. Yet the decision was taken out of his hands when Noodle appeared before him once the lift door had opened. She seemed to actually be Noodle, her eyes tired and bloodshot but otherwise, lucid enough to realize who she was looking at. In the background Murdoc managed to slink away before he was noticed, too. She raised her eyebrows to the drummer, interest evident there but form still almost lifeless in the now tailored Android suit.

"Russel-san…I am hungry."

If Russel thought he couldn't be anymore surprised, the uttered request practically brought his jaw to the floor. He knew she had to eat sometime but that she'd actually asked was still a shock—the Android didn't eat. Shaking the thought from his head, Russel nodded his approval. "What you wanna eat, baby girl?"

She looked thoughtful though her eyes remained red rimmed and sleepy. "I would like waffles…a lot of them. I feel like I haven't eaten in ages. When was the last time I ate?" The mere fact that he couldn't give her a quick answer confused her and Noodle's brow creased in puzzlement. "I…never mind. Please…I'd like to eat."

As they made their way to the dining area Russel could not help but wonder if, in this state, she'd even taken notice of the state of dress she now sported. He didn't think she wore the most comfortable clothes to begin with, considering what she'd shown up in was a dress, thigh-high socks without shoes and a mask. The tommy gun she'd left by the entrance was another indication of her time in hell. Nevertheless, he didn't think the short shorts, tight-fitting button up jacket or beret would have gone unnoticed. It irked him but as she seemed truly famished, he would not keep her waiting. In fact, whipping up a batch of his famous waffles seemed all the more of a normalcy for them, especially for her. What he wasn't sure of was how long it would actually last—an eternity would be nice. And if Noodle had caught on to the fact that she was only half-there she said nothing, which made him all the more certain her lucidity would only last for so long. In the meantime, he would try to get Murdoc to talk to their vocalist, even if the two men hated each other. Something he had learned long ago was that when the going got tough, in the Gorillaz, the tough got beaten. He would make Murdoc fix it, even if it meant breaking his nose again. Smirking to himself, Russel began pulling out the ingredients to make waffle batter just as Noodle's stomach growled loudly. At least some thing was the same, for now.

* * *

In his room 2D was reminiscing over all the good times he had with Noodle, at least all the ones he could actually remember, which weren't many. Having taken far too many drugs over the years caused a lot of lapses in his memory; and he knew it couldn't be good for his overall health. Despite that thought he couldn't help the bitterness that welled up inside him at the memory of Murdoc leaving all their things behind at Kong. How many pictures had they lost when Kong was abandoned? How many priceless memories were still there, rotting away on the landfill they'd once called home? He figured now would be as good a time as any to find out. He knew it would require leaving Plastic Beach and returning to Essex. But if it put to rest the demons it had summoned, he would do it. If anything he'd do it to get away from Noodle for a while as it appeared she was only half with them, not to mention she seemed to hate him even prior to his kissing her. He felt awful about what he'd done, kissing her without warning but glad that, for a moment, she had seemed to respond. He knew it was not the right away, not the right time and for that he punished himself. Instead of pulling out stray strands of hair as he did in the past, 2D decided to leave on his mission, to return to Kong. That he would be doing it alone is what scared him the most. He'd spent the last 7 years awaiting her glorious, if not unrealistic, return home. He spent years pining away over her disappearance, almost killed himself doing it. Now she was back and he couldn't make things right. _'Not 'ere in this place…_' he told himself over and over again.

Plastic Beach was not going to bring back the old Noodle. It was not going to release its strangle hold on him until he dealt with the past; until he dealt with himself. And Noodle was not going to be the same if he didn't figure out what she'd been doing at Kong the years before she vanished into thin air. Sighing inwardly, 2D began to pack lightly. It was true that he'd have to steal a boat—Murdoc might eventually kill him for it—and find out how to use it. It was a small price to pay when one thought about what was at stake. Taking one last look in the mirror, he tried to give himself a morale boost before he managed to forget what he was doing in the first place. It was now or never.

He hoped when he came back, Noodle would still be there.

**TBC**

* * *

_(Yeah...so who hates me now? I know what you're thinking-"WTF, that's IT? WHERE THE HELL IS THE REST OF IT? AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME?" *flame launcher authoress* Yeah...hate is welcomed right now. I can't say sorry enough or give excuses...R&R, if you'd like? .)_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: Here's chapter 9 everyone. I wish I could say it was stellar and worth the wait but then I'd be a big liar. I'll let you be the judges of how good or bad it is._

'_thoughts' & __**Flashbacks**_

"Talking"

Everything else

* * *

_Distant stars come in black or red,_

_I've seen their worlds, inside my head_

_They connect with the fall of man_

_They breathe you in, and dive as deep as they can._

_~Plastic Beach—Gorillaz~_

**Canvas of Imperfection**

It shouldn't have come as any shock that 2D was gone but when Russel knocked on his door that morning and received no answer, suffice to say he was equally floored when he'd burst through the door only to find the room empty. He'd scratched his head, puzzled for a minute before stomping his way back up to the studio area where Murdoc was practicing plucking the strings of his bass. Noodle was absent as was the norm. Russel tried to control his hands but they were on Murdoc's collar of their own accord.

"He's gone. D is gone, Muds."

Even though he was hanging from the large drummer's fists, the Satanist didn't seem the least bit concerned. "Yeh? An' wot of it? Like I care, Lards."

"You is some piece of work, Muds," Russel replied with annoyance, dropping Murdoc back onto his stool. The bassist casually returned to his plucking, face impassive. In any other instance Russel would've pounded his face in but decided it was the less wise decision, for now. "Where d'ya think he went?"

"The 'ell if I know. At' Dullard could fall in'a black 'ole fer all I care."

The drummer shot him a death look and Murdoc had the decency to flinch. "Whatever, Muds, you fuckin bastard. I'm gonna go look for baby girl."

Murdoc rolled his eyes at Russel, not really caring what any of them did anymore. The fact that the drummer had thrown the Android overboard was a particular sore spot for the bassist. It was his finest piece of work and Russel had thrown it away like it was trash. It was Murdoc's prized possession, his best accomplishment other than the success of the band. Grumbling madly under his breath, he returned to his previous task, not wanting to think about the matter any further.

Outside the studio door Russel gave a long, frustrated sigh. He didn't know how he was going to get through to any of his band mates, especially Noodle. She was currently locked up in her room and he wondered how she could be seeing as to it hadn't been fixed yet. Then again, he had heard her banging away down there for more than a day or so, before 2D left. His curiosity would've got the better of him and he would have ventured down to see what she was doing if she hadn't suddenly appeared from the lift, a wrench in her hands. She still seemed lucid, which he was thankful for, and she threw him a small smile, emerald eye shining from the side of her face not covered with her purple locks.

"Ohaya, Russel-san. I was wondering if you had a hammer I could use. I need to nail something to my wall but I'm still…not familiar with everything here."

The statement was unsettling to him seeing as to how long she'd been residing in Plastic Beach. While it had many a place that hadn't been discovered, most of their fake homeland was relatively old now. He couldn't fathom what she was referring to but decided to let it slide lest he upset her back into her paranoid state of the "Android." He wasn't convinced Murdoc didn't care about their guitarist but the bassist was doing a good job of acting aloof if this was not the case. It was disturbing to him how much their leader could ignore them or torment them—2D and Noodle were both living testaments of that. Russel himself was enough of an example of shunning since Murdoc had, conveniently, failed to let him know about the new album. But they'd all found their way back though without permission in 2D's case. Noodle's reappearance had spawned something of a concern for them now, especially since she wasn't all together there, and no one seemed to really be addressing it. With 2D gone and Murdoc in his guilty funk, it left only Russel to deal with the repercussions of Noodle's mental breakdown. He would be bashing heads in and soon if he was any judge. Nodding to her, he beckoned for her to follow him to his living quarters.

At least around him she was consistently lucid; the Android didn't seemed to exist for very long periods of time when they were in each other's company. He was glad of this but it also, frighteningly, reaffirmed his belief that 2D and Murdoc were the major causes of her losing her mind. Shaking his head at how excited she became when he handed her the hammer, Russel took a seat on his bed. She didn't follow his example but paused at the action, her gaze questioning.

"Russel-san…are you alright?"

"I should be askin you that, baby girl," he answered.

Noodle blinked at him. "I…I do not understand."

"You been actin funny. You don't notice?" He asked the question straight out but in a tone that resonated worry instead of anger and confusion.

The emeralds of her eyes tightened and glistened as she stopped swinging the hammer, her hands trembling. "I…I'm sorry, Russel-san…I can't remember. I feel as if…I feel as though I have pieces of my memory missing…but I can't recall any of it. Have I…have I done anything wrong? Please tell me."

And what could he tell her? That she was on the verge of a split personality that was becoming completely functional as each day went by? How was he going to inform her that she was mentally unstable because of her emotions surrounding their vocalist and resident bassist? Russel felt as though telling her these things would only worsen that which she strived to get away from, that which would only become more of a detriment than helping to solve the issue on hand. Sighing, she shook his head. He wouldn't lie to her, no; but he wouldn't disclose everything for fear that it might completely break her. He wouldn't dare mention 2D's absence, either.

"No, baby girl…you ain't done nothing wrong. Ya just…been outta it, I guess," he offered instead. A truthful lie. She didn't seem to be buying it though, her eyes glistening more and lips in a tight frown. _'Shit…this ain't gonna work.'_

"I…" she seemed to be struggling for words as she shifted from foot to foot. "I am…not well, I know, Russel-san. I see it in everyone's eyes. But I…cannot remember or make sense of why…not anymore."

'_Did she ever?'_ he asked himself as they stared at each other. Shaking his head, he nodded to her in agreement. "I'm sorry, baby girl…guess I ain't much help."

She let out a small, Noodle-like giggle, very much a resemblance of her old self that Russel cherished as her surrogate big brother and father figure. "It's alright Russel-san…I don't blame you…you've treated me the best since I've returned. And I…appreciate it. I only wish…" she paused, her eyes glazing over and he feared the worst; but she remained relatively "normal" to his eyes. "I suppose dwelling has never suited me…onii-san."

He'd become familiar with the term over the years and liked hearing it from her. It meant she cared for him and their mutual familial relationship was still intact despite the Android's poison. It made him wistful and he returned her smile. "Let me know if you need any help down there, aight?"

She offered him another large, friendly smile before skipping out of his room, whistling a pleasant tune all the way to the lift. He supposed it was better for her to have even the smallest hint of happiness rather than long, drawn out bouts of the Android's personality. It meant she was still quite alive in there and kicking, too. Either way, it made no difference in his planning to find 2D. That was certainly going to become an issue once she became more Noodle than the Android. Her bouts of lucidity were sure to decrease when she realized 2D was gone. Russel hoped she hadn't already understood this, or there would surely be hell to pay.

Downstairs in her room, Noodle was sitting resolutely and almost statue-like on the stool adjacent to her bed, her fingers firmly crossed in her lap. She knew she was only half there, in her mind; but not missing enough to realize 2D was, indeed, no longer residing in Plastic Beach. The only hope that was still alive within her rested with the knowledge that most of his belongings were still eerily, snugly packed inside his room a floor above. Odd as it was, this did not bring her the amount of comfort she wished for, nor did it ease any troubles she had regarding his return. Normally she would've been thrown into a fit of rage, an angry stupor. But as the years had passed without her family's presence, without the man she loved, Noodle had become sadly accustomed to his absence and yearned as she would any other time. She was also sure that the Android's constant presence in her stress-addled mind had something to do with this. While the Android did not miss 2D the way Noodle herself did, the twisted creature seemed to miss torturing him at the very least, a thought which made Noodle cringe inside. She would've been sick but she had eaten nothing nearly sustaining enough to expel from her stomach.

Sighing, she decided a nap was in order. After all, her eyes burned like she hadn't slept in days. And seeing as the Android did not sleep, she wasn't surprised to find that now, she too couldn't.

* * *

Trudging one's way through the latter part of Britain was already an unforeseen annoyance for Stuart Pot. He wasn't really cut out for long journeys through anywhere, at least not while he was conscious. Rubbing his head again, 2D tried to alleviate the oncoming headache surfacing through the effects of his medication, hoping that their power would last at least until he reached somewhere to rest. He'd managed to slip away in the dead of night without alerting Murdoc—or maybe the Satanist no longer cared—and was gone before anyone seemed to notice. While he felt terrible about leaving Noodle and Russel behind with the crazy bassist, he convinced himself—however hard that actually was—that he was doing all of these things in the best interest of his friends. He knew Noodle would do worse if he hung around in the state of mind they both were in; Russel might end up killing him on accident. All of these were risks Stuart Pot was not willing to take where his friends well being was concerned. He figured the best way to get them through whatever hellish atmosphere had settled over them was certainly not being together, not this time. The many years passed between them only amplified how much they had missed each other, and how much they lost on each other. It made him sad to think, when he was thinking, that this is what would, ultimately, become of them of they were not careful.

Trying to clear the thoughts away without a physical shaking of his head, 2D slumped against the nearest bus stop, content to wait for it to come and take him closer to Kong. He hadn't been there in ages and it scared him, slightly, to think of what it may have become in their absence. He had overheard Noodle talking to herself some months ago about how she'd returned to a wasteland even inside their old home; he dreaded to think what might inhabit it now. But he wouldn't give up yet, for he felt if he did he was also giving up on Noodle. And he wouldn't do that, no matter how empty-minded he was. Trudging his way towards the bus stop, he boarded the auto with relative ease and leaned back in the closest seat he could find. The bus itself was pretty much empty, which wasn't entirely surprising. He doubted many people would go in the direction he was headed to. There wasn't much out by Kong as it was a deserted landfill. He also doubted anyone would recognize him from that part of town as they'd been living in the middle of the ocean for the last 7 to 8 years. He felt no need for a disguise or to travel incognito; no one would be visiting their old home after all.

Even before he arrived he had an ominous feeling settling in the pit of his growling stomach. Clearly his being hungry was not enough to overrule the eerie feeling taking over every inch of his being. After jumping off the bus he paused before the gates of his old abode. Kong looked particularly menacing where it stood; the landfill looking like it had started to eat up most of the building that remained. It didn't seem like any thought had been given to the care of the building, as though it had been easily forgotten, which he was sure it had been. Who would want to take up residence in a zombie filled, horrific smelling dump other than themselves? Only Murdoc could make something so horribly disgusting seem glamorous and attractive to the outside world. The fact that they were abnormal star sensations had nothing to do with it, not at all. Convincing himself of this small, unimportant pleasantry seemed pointless as he pushed open the gates and proceeded through casually until he remembered that it was indeed a zombie infested place. At this recollection he high tailed it to the door and burst through as quickly as possible, slamming it shut behind him. This, he realized shortly after, was probably going to awaken anything that had been sleeping in the place for however long it had been there. He also decided he wouldn't stick around and wait for that. He didn't intend to remain at Kong for an extended period of time; he wanted answers, then to get the hell out. Finding those answers, on the other hand, would prove to be quite the challenge as he wasn't even sure what it was he was searching for in the first place. Scratching his head in frustration, he set about looking through the rooms of Kong—the important rooms—one by one to see what might uncover the truth into Noodle's disappearance.

* * *

Noodle had awakened from her nap with relative grogginess, her mind foggy and eyes blurry from her rather long nap. She figured it must be sometime around dinner given the lighting but then again, there was no real light in the lower reaches of Plastic Beach. Her room, without its candlelit fixtures or light bulbs, was like an Egyptian tomb, cold, dark and dank. Sighing, she pushed herself off the bed to go in search of food when her stomach growled loudly. She continually reminded herself that while the Android did not require any real sustenance to continue going, she truly needed food to function. Such necessities seemed annoying with the Android's thoughts and presence residing within her fragile body and mind. She knew it had yet to touch her soul but she attributed this to the fact that the Android probably had no soul, being a metal machine and all. She wondered why this particular maddening occurrence didn't extend to her heart as well, why it didn't make her heart somewhat into stone so she wouldn't have to feel the ache and pain that lingered at the mere thought of 2D? Sighing, Noodle resigned herself to another torturous, long evening of pining away for the Vocalist while she tried to normalize parts of her life that no longer seemed to have any light in them with his absence starkly present. Her eyes felt filmy as she glanced around the room to take in all the objects she'd used to decorate it. Many of them were reminiscent of the Android while others reminded her of 2D, which caused the ache in her heart to flare up and double over. Her arm flew out to keep herself from falling over at the force of the ache, the pain swelling as she tried to picture herself during happier times. The only problem was that most of those times involved 2D himself.

Thinking of him hurt her and made her happy all in one; what could she do about that? _**'Not think of him at all.'**_ The thought hit her like a ton of bricks as she could swear she'd heard the Android's laughter following the statement, the evil tone of voice lingering just beneath the surface of those words. The thought itself had been in her mind but had it been her own? _'No…I would never…I couldn't do that. 2D is too important to me…I love him.'_ Shaking her head, Noodle refused to let such a thought even to permeate in her mind. The Android's poison could be fought off for a little longer. '_How much longer Noodle…how much longer?_' She did her best to push the thought further and further into the darkest recesses of her mind, not wanting to allow it anymore energy. She vowed to herself then and there that if 2D did not return by the end of the week that she was going to go after him. In all likelihood she was pretty sure he wouldn't since 2D probably didn't even remember leaving his home let alone where he was going; but Noodle had a pretty good idea. '_Maybe having the Android for this particular journey won't be so bad_,' she surmised. If returning to Kong—she was sure the singer had ended up there—alone was the plan, and she was sure it was, then having the heartless machine's abilities to wield guns and such could only help with her martial arts abilities. She didn't really know if there were still hungry zombies lumbering about but Kong was a landfill and graveyard all in one; better to be safe instead of sorry.

Sighing, Noodle looked around her room for anything useful to take. The Ithaca shotgun sitting on its hinges made sense but not much else did. She wasn't sure if the remaining guns in the room even worked; let alone how to use them properly. '_I could learn within seconds,_' she told herself. And yet the idea of that carnage didn't appeal to her the way crushing zombie heads with her bare fists did. With another sigh, this one heavier than the previous one, she decided to pack a few things and leave them ready for whenever it was time to depart. Telling Russel her decision was going to be the hardest part. She already knew that, without saying so, he would adamantly refuse her resolution and ask her to wait until the blue haired singer returned. Doubt settled in her mind that he eventually would. She quickly jabbed her finger on the lift button. Tapping her foot didn't seem to do a thing to expedite the process but she opted for continuing the action to relieve stress. In the end it didn't seem to help so she eventually ceased the action. And the ride up to Russel's area wasn't any easier; anxiety piled on with every inch of ascension. Breathing in deeply, Noodle tried to calm her already frayed nerves to prepare for whatever Russel might say to deter her from the mission at hand.

As luck would have it when she exited the lift he was seated there on the couch with Murdoc looking every bit annoyed and perplexed. Russel tended to have that look about him even when he was focused, mostly because the whites of his haunted eyes made him look mindless. Murdoc's normal eye seemed to be searching the room for her, seconds later spotting her standing sedentary on the lift's threshold. Russel brought his gaze to her as she attempted to appear normal; as normal as possible with the Android's thought process swirling around her head in constant motion. She was about to step out when Russel stood and began shaking his head.

"Ya ain't goin baby girl."

She opened her mouth in protest. "Russel-san, I have to find 2D! I'm the reason he left, I know it."

"No, Muds is the reason he left, damn cracka ass," the drummer replied firmly and accusatorily in Murdoc's general direction. To his credit the bassist seemed completely unfazed as she took another long sip of whatever was in his glass. Noodle had the feeling it was bourbon or scotch. Again, the drummer shook his head. "Don't see how you rushin over dere is gon' make him come back, Noods."

She blanched at this; not having thought what would happen if he refused to return to Plastic Beach. "I…" her words trailed off and Noodle felt her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. "I…" she tried again, steeling her resolve. "I know he will come back, if only I go to him. You don't understand…I made him leave."

Russel blinked. "How?"

She signed, shoulders sagging. "It is a long story, one I don't have the time to tell. Please," she begged. "Please let me go find him. I promise you, I will return with him. Please, Russel-san."

"Let 'er go, lards. Yer wastin yer time wi'tha one, yew is," came Murdoc's drunken slur.

For once Noodle was grateful Murdoc was trying to get rid of her. He would not stand her way like Russel did now. For a moment Russel regarded the Satanist like he was a lunatic, which he was. But after a few more minutes of silent contemplation he nodded to the purple haired guitarist. Noodle granted him a small smile as she quickly made her way to the nearest dock, hoping that there was another boat around. She didn't know how long it would take to get to Kong but she was not looking back, not now.

* * *

2D clambered through another pile of junk that littered the old car park where Murdoc used to reside when they had all called Kong their home. The cemetery graves were all empty, he'd surmised. The good amount he'd passed on the way were the perfect indication of such. Mere seconds into remembering this discovery found 2D falling face first onto the concrete as he tripped on a pile of rubble he hadn't seen. Cursing, he picked himself up, cringing when the previously dull ache in his head strengthened. He muttered irritably to himself as he searched for his bottle of painkillers in his pockets, which were full of useless items he's snatched along his journey through the dilapidated living space. He'd stopped in Noodle's room on his way down, pausing there to see if the room resembled anything of its former glory, wondering, idly, what had happened to Shaun. The Japanese style dividing panels were cracked, torn and broken on the floor. Noodle's bedspread looked rumpled on the mattress, as though it had been used though perhaps not recently. CD's lay strewn across the rotting red carpeted floor while various pieces of an old boom box lay smashed in a corner. He gave it a forlorn look, ready to move on when he caught sight of her football helmet and keyboard wedged underneath a fallen piece of ceiling. He recalled these items in particular from her first video shoot. DARE had been a major success, especially for a budding, young girl, who, at the time, was still mastering her talents and living with 3 grown men.

He wondered, for a second, how Noodle felt living with the 3 of them. She had no other females to look up to and they weren't the best role models. '_Well…cept' fo' Russ…_' he thought as he scratched his head, all the while still peering curiously and sadly into Noodle's once uniquely decorated room. The memories that her room shook up inside him left him feeling forlorn and wishing he hadn't left her in the first place; but he knew, on some level, it needed to happen. He wasn't right for her at the present because he didn't understand her. And it was abundantly clear that she didn't understand herself, what with how easily the Android infiltrated her usually strongly guarded psyche. Letting out a sigh he pushed past Noodle's room and made his way to the car park, where he presently stood, pondering where his bottle of pills were. Murdoc's Winnebago remained where it always had, resolute and dingy in the corner of the concrete floor. The area smelled like old whiskey and urine that must have been years old. He wasn't even sure how the fumes remained but either way it was a disgusting display of how low Murdoc had let Kong sink after their break up. After Noodle's disappearance he hadn't seen any reason to stay around; Russel had vanished after too, torn up over Del's true death. Glancing around he caught quick sight of a large hole in the car park, the area sending eerie vibes his way that made him uncomfortable and the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. Cringing he inched closer and closer in cautious curiosity though everything told him he should not even go over there.

He was almost on the threshold of the broken wall when someone grabbed him from behind. 2D flailed unceremoniously in an attempt to throw of his attacker, thinking it was a rogue zombie that managed to find him. He was, mostly, relieved and shocked to find a pair of emerald green eyes staring back at him, one scarred but bright all the same. "Noods?"

"Hai, 2D-san. I am sorry if I startled you but this…is not a good place to be. There is…nothing back there you need to see. Russel-san wishes you to return home now," came her quiet, but firm voice.

He fumbled for words and she began to lead him away from the gaping hole in the decrepit wall. He wanted an explanation and he wanted a real one. Throwing her hand away 2D dug his heels in as she stumbled forward at the force. "No, lil love. I need ta see." She stared at him curiously. "I fink…I fink s'betta if I do, don' yew?"

She shook her head. "No, 2D-san. It no longer matters, what's back there."

"Wot is back 'ere?"

Noodle narrowed her eyes, lips pursed in warning as she felt the Android's voice egging her on, straining to get out. "Nothing of further importance. This place is a dead place. Why did you come here, 2D-san?"

He shuffled his feet from side to side, not really sure what to tell her, not really sure how to tell her the reason why. What kind of reaction would she have, he wondered? He felt a little strange telling her that the reason he had ran to Kong was to discover the truth behind her disappearance and to scrounge any clues he could find to help him understand the girl they'd both left behind, the girl they'd both lost when she'd become the woman they now knew. She continued to give him a hard stare, her patience thinning as the Android persisted in her psyche, pushing and prodding for any weaknesses.

"Look, lil love…wot 'appened to yeh…I jus' want to know. Yew was gone fo' 7 yea's…" She bristled and 2D felt his worry being overridden by frustration and anger. "Wot 'appened?" When she didn't answer, instead looking off to the side, he became aggravated; the effects of his earlier fall irritating his already pained mind. "I said, wot 'appened?" he roared.

Noodle's eyes blazed. "I was trying to save Murdoc, okay!" Her shout echoed around the car park and they both, simultaneously, wondered if the remaining zombies—because surely there were still some lumbering about—had heard her. Clenching her fists, the purple haired guitarist strained to answer him through gritted teeth. "Look, what's back there is a gateway to hell. I was trying to save Murdoc, okay? I was trying to reach everyone once I found it. I was never able to get a hold of any of you. And then…" she turned away but 2D did not miss the sniffling sound. "He just went off and replaced me with that damn Android…you all did. 7 years…7 years after that damn mishap that was El Manana and no one…gave a shit about little Noodle. I was 14 years old…not even from here, didn't any of you care?"

2D struggled for comforting words. "Course we did, lil love. I care 'bout yeh…always 'ave."

"**Then why didn't you come, any of you?**" She asked though her voice seemed tired more than upset. "I waited…I hoped."

His blackened eyes, red rimmed from countless days and night of crying for her, were exhausted with their circumstances. "I did, love. Muds…Russ an' I begged 'im ta send ou' a search party for yeh."

She seemed slightly disbelieving, if not completely unconvinced. "I know…I know. I'm sorry." She fought the Android's wishes to voice its thoughts, to guilt 2D into believing that she, Noodle, did not believe him. Deep down the young woman knew he had come looking for her, if anyone would have, she knew it'd have been him. He was her closest friend and seemed the most distraught by her disappearance when she finally returned. Deep down she was beginning to truly believe that he did love her though the Android made this belief seemingly impossible. Her shoulders sagging a little, Noodle turned her gaze back to 2D, stretching a hand out towards him.

"Please, 2D-san…please come home."

He stared at her, remembering their kiss from the couple of days before, feeling that intense urge to kiss her again though more gently. Her eyes were glistening and he figured she wanted to cry but knew she would not do so. A part of him wanted to reach out, take her hand and walk away. But another part of him could not yet leave the place where it all started for them, the place where he had last walked the halls with her, made music with her, spent time with her as she truly was. Seeming to sense this, Noodle let her hand drop and made her way towards the brink of her past despair, pausing once she'd reached it. Blinking back tears she looked to him.

"This is where I died that day…this is where it all started. Murdoc…he knew, he knew all along. The plan was for me to take a break but things don't always go to plan, as I'm sure you've noticed. And when it comes to Murdoc, anything is expendable for the price of glory and fame. He left me to rot…I ended up in the one place he should've. I was in hell, 2D-san, HELL. I'm not the same person you knew," she said bitingly. 2D's blank stare only hardened her resolve and he felt powerless to change that, especially when looking at her now. "I never will be again. The sooner everyone at home adjusts to that, the less issue we'll all have; trust me."

But a part of him could not let go of what she said because for him, it was admitting defeat and accepting it, which he did not want to. He knew she had changed and he knew change happened to everyone over extended periods of time. But her change was unnatural, the Android's poisoning not something that he could accept and continue on with, not when it was clearly affecting her so, hurting her so. It made him curious as to how she went on everyday without barely any complaints. Had she accepted the Android's personality as something to call her own when it was clear that the artificial piece of life was not something normal or healthy for her? He wondered, momentarily, if she had accepted the Android's twisted psyche into her own head as a defense mechanism, as a way to ensure that she would not be hurt again or as a way to preserve her fears, to protect her heart. Was it safe to say that hers was now fading away as a result of the Android's treachery? Something in his gut twisted and urged him to press her further. He figured that maybe if she blew up, vented and let out all her frustration that things would change, that she would open up and let him in where she hadn't before. That she would become her old self once again.

"Yew're lyin' Noods," he whispered quietly.

She whirled around to face him, eyes ablaze but narrowed at his still figure at the other end of the car park. **"I must have misheard you, 2D-san. What did you say?" **He gulped as she began to advance on him.** "I believe you said I was lying, that I am a liar." **When 2D said nothing more, though his eyes betrayed nothing, Noodle's mouth turned into a prowling smirk.** "I don't believe you, the coward, afraid of Murdoc's bare hands, should have anything to say to my brave Noodle. She fought so valiantly, with such dedication and anger, the feeling of betrayal coursing through her as she fought to come back here…who are you to call her a liar?"**

"The android…" he mumbled with irritation and a momentary lapse of fear.

She nodded, Noodles eyes and expression seeming to have disappeared in the wake of the Android's presence. **"We'll be integrated soon. Call it what you will but you didn't seriously think this wasn't going to happen, did you? I am a prototype based off facets of Noodle's DNA. Murdoc's experiment has been a true success. A fool to think he could manipulate a person's DNA without repercussions. I am not a machine 2D-san, my veritable prisoner." **2D shivered at the word and the Android's smirk widened.** "I'm not some knock-off personality of hers." **The vocalist gaped in horror at her words.** "Don't upset her further. I'll be watching you." **

2D barely had time to try and register what the Android was saying when Noodle stumbled a little, glancing around wildly as though she didn't recognize where they were. "2D-san…I thought we had left."

He tried to think of a good response to give her but failed miserably, simply extending his hand to her. "No…but we should now, lil love."

Grasping his hand, Noodle looked up at him with a small, tired smile. "Thank you 2D-san…for coming home."

He graced her with a weak, crooked smile of his own. "Course love…wotever makes yew smile."

They high tailed it as gracefully and slowly as the wandering zombies and stench of Kong would permit. Noodle's lucid state remained as they walked the miles to the nearest bus stop before catching the next one headed towards where 2D had left their boat. Plastic Beach, being in the middle of nowhere, would probably take them a while to reach, especially with 2D feeling the beginnings of yet another migraine; Noodle was still in and out of her lucidity by this point. She was glancing around in what appeared to be slight paranoia, which worried 2D because if the Android made yet another appearance he wasn't sure what he'd do. Sighing as they rode the rickety bus back to the nearest dock, 2D couldn't help but throw Essex a mournful look as the last visible remnants of Kong disappeared over the horizon, and with it, all of 2D's hopes for Noodle's smooth recovery faded as well.

She, for one, never looked back at their old home, her gaze glued to her lap as if it was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. Oddly enough, her fingers were still threaded through his, which brought 2D little comfort when her words continued to ring in his ears. The constant, incessant echo of what was now a seemingly tangible, very frightful reality for the young woman and the family he called his own only served to exacerbate his pre-existing fears. _**"I'm not some knock-off personality of hers." **_The phrase struck him to the core and 2D shivered; at this, Noodle brought her gaze to meet his, her other hand coming to his face.

"2D-san…are you feeling okay?" Her emerald eyes sparkled at him, the gash on her eye illuminated by the setting sun behind them.

Shaking his head and giving her yet another of his fake smiles, 2D answered her with as much honesty as he could must. "S'awright, lil love. Jus' tired. Get some rest."

Nodding, a yawn escaping her lips, Noodle settled back into the bus seat, nestled comfortably against 2D. He didn't know if she was grounded in reality at the moment, judging by her actions and state of euphoria. But he could only sigh, millions of emotions swirling around his head, when she fell fast asleep. They had a bit of ways to go back to the dock and 2D wanted nothing more than to view this as a peaceful moment with his Noodle. And a part of him took that concept and ran with it while another scolded him for considering this when Noodle was still blatantly unwell. What he did know was that upon their late return to Plastic Beach, there would indeed be hell to pay. If one thing was for certain, Murdoc would be semi-furious if even for selfish, unimportant reasons—of this he was sure. Stretching his legs to their full extent 2D allowed himself the smallest hint of personal satisfaction by tightening his grip on Noodle's warm fingers; he let his head rest upon hers, letting sleep claim him. Whatever it was that was going to happen, he decided not to worry about it.

For now.

**TBC**

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_(Hey all. I'm currently going to be refocusing my time on my Dragon Age fic—at least Chapter 7—which is almost done. Then I'll be coming around full circle and working on my KH, then this one again. I have an idea that this one will come to a close soon, maybe in a few more chapters as it deals mainly with the emotional drama between 2D and Noodle up until they get together. Don't expect anything more than that. Yes, I still need to finish addressing the issue with the Android and I will. Thanks to everyone who had read, reviewed, and is still doing all that. I appreciate all your support.)_

_~Sadistickunais_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gorillaz or anything about them—they are fabulous. But they belong to Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn, ladies and gents. I only play with them. Therefore, please do not sue me; you won't get a dime, trust me. **

_A/N: Here's chapter 10! I want to say it's fabulous but I feel like that'd be untrue. Anywho, I'll let you all be the judges of this chapter's worthiness!_

'_Thoughts' __**Flashbacks**_ "Talking" _Everything else_

* * *

_Oh joys arise_

_The sun has come again to hold you_

_Sailing out the doldrums the week_

_The polyphonic prayer is here, it's all around you_

_It's all around you, out here_

_~Empire Ants—Gorillaz ft. Little Dragon~_

**Canvas of Imperfection**

Noodle felt drained beyond anything she'd felt before, limbs aching and head spinning as though she would soon get a migraine. Her world seemed fuzzy and she couldn't seem to place where she was at the moment, unsure of her surroundings. All she knew was that the bedding beneath her was comfortable, lulling her into a state of slumber she hadn't experienced in years. She felt warmth circulating through her until it seemed to settle against her back where it was the most concentrated. It was in those seconds of realization that she now could feel the imprint of hands on her back through her clothing, hands that were definitely male, hands that were strong. She blushed to the roots of her hair as the memories came flooding back from her journey to Essex and back to Plastic Beach with 2D accompanying her. Her anxiety began to rise when she discovered that they were safely back in his room, lying on his bed, snuggled under the covers while 2D's chest rose and fell from the steady rhythm of his breathing. He was in a deep almost trance like sleep, obviously exhausted from whatever they had done or talked about on the way back home. Sighing, Noodle couldn't make up her mind on whether to carefully extract herself or to sink into the warmth of his embrace. However, the decision was made for her seconds later when 2D groaned and pulled her closer to his chest, locking his arms around her slim frame. Her cheeks flamed.

'_Did we…no…we couldn't have! 2D would never do that without my consent!'_ Her mind rattled off reasons as to why they couldn't possibly have slept together, each sounding more ridiculous than the next when she knew he would never do such a thing by force. He was aware of her bouts of lucidity, wasn't he? Biting her lip, Noodle remained perfectly still and pliable in his arms as she contemplated the various scenarios and outcomes of what could occur should he wake up and find her, too, awake. Shrugging it off, she decided to enjoy the brief moment of comfort while it lasted. When he awakened she was sure he would be disgusted given how much she'd melded with the Android. It was something that, as time passed, she became more and more unsure of whether it would change. She felt her blood run cold at that very thought but knew that saying anything at that very moment would change nothing for her current situation. With a heavy hearted sigh she sank back into 2D's embrace with the silent vow to truly enjoy what he was giving before he woke up. She didn't want to think about what the rest of her band mates were doing let alone where they were, presently.

She could hear the whale swimming around outside 2D's bedroom window, massive girth anything but silent in the fluidity of the ocean water. However, this did not disturb the vocalist's slumber, which she suspected was heavily induced by his medication and their journey back to Plastic Beach. She didn't remember much of the actual trip back but she did recall falling asleep on the bus, head on 2D's shoulder and feeling comfortable, calm. Aside from the panic that occurred moments ago, Noodle now felt serene in his arms, a sense of silence that accompanied contentment reaching her scarred soul as she lay there. The dread that had caught hold of her was gone now, replaced only with a feeling of dampened happiness. It stuck to the threads of her thoughts, tendrils of muted emotions that lay there upon her skin like fragmented stitching. It felt surreal to be where she was now and remembering where she'd been years ago, wishing and waiting for something she wasn't sure would ever happen. Yet here she was now, warped and twisted but in a place she'd only ever really dreamed of in the solitude of not only her own room, but her own thoughts as well. She would never be able share these feelings with Russel or Murdoc unless she wanted 2D to be bludgeoned to death by her onii-san's fists. The thought was frightening if not a bit comical in retrospect. Nevertheless, she laid there, a thin and hesitant smile on her chapped lips. She only wished the moment would last longer so she could imprint it in her memory if things went awry. As it was, 2D was still, clearly, knocked out if his light snores were any indication of how deeply he was asleep.

Curiosity suddenly got the best of her and she managed to wriggle an arm free from his grip, not that alarmed when he didn't even flinch at the movement. He slept like the dead zombies back at Kong, maybe even worse. Raising her fingers to his face she gently traced the contours of his pale flesh, stopping at the miniscule scars that were easily disguised up by cover up and such when they had toured. His eyelids fluttered a bit when he fingers lightly trailed over them but they remained closed, which she was thankful for. His blue hair fell over the middle of his face, the spikes beginning to lose their stiffness and the gel wearing off now that he had been laying down on it. It was still soft to the touch, however, and Noodle rolled a few of the fine strands between his fingers before returning them to their proper place. Her exploration didn't end there, her emerald gaze focused on his sleeping features as she simply stared at him while he slept, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. These were the moments she had missed so dearly during her time in Hell, the moments she cherished and what she clung to in times when she felt like ending it all. It wasn't a pleasant thought, the notion that she had considered giving up; but it happened. She couldn't deny that those times had been some of her darkest contemplations nor could she deny how aggravating it was to deal with the dark times now. Everything should've been better but it wasn't. Reality wasn't kind to her, she now knew.

She was so lost in thought that when 2D's hand moved to her arm she practically jumped out of her skin. "2D-san!"

He gave her a lost look. "Lil love, yew sleep at all?"

Composing herself, Noodle nodded very slowly as if she hadn't quite understood the question. "Hai, I did." His face remained expressionless but he tilted his head to the side. Noodle blushed. "I…how did you sleep?"

He let out a yawn at this and stretched his seemingly endless limbs in all directions. "Awright, lil love."

She watched in fascination as the more he stretched the more scars were revealed on his pale skin. His lanky frame didn't hide the bruises or cuts either but she suddenly found herself really wanting to trace every one of them with her hands. In fact, she found herself increasingly interested in touching him without a real reason. Upon realizing the proximity she knew that it'd be a good idea if she decided to back away and leave at that moment. Yet right as she made a move to do so, legs starting to slip from underneath the cover, 2D's arm went back around her, eyes still sleepy despite appearing to be awake. The urge to touch him only intensified with this action and Noodle found herself suddenly pinning him to his bed, her smaller body atop his. 2D's wide eyed gaze did little to deter her and Noodle wasn't sure if it was her or the Android who was in control. Part of her was suddenly aching to strangle the crap out of him or, at the very least, play mind games while the other part was willing her to kiss him. The push and pull between her feelings and the Android's thoughts caused her to hesitate, her face screwed up in confusion and debate. 2D gaped.

"Noods…yew…wot yew doin…?" His puzzlement hung in the air between, so practically tangible that Noodle could swear she tasted it. His lips pursed when she said nothing, one of his hands rising but whether to push her off or pull her closer, the purple haired woman did not know. His abyssal eyes gazed up at her questioningly. "Noods…?"

"I…sumimasen, 2D-san, I don't know…I must go." With slow, languid movements Noodle slid off his bed with glazed eyes, something that signaled she was not completely there again. Her mind felt foggy all of a sudden, like her mind had drifted behind a curtain of sheer silk just thick enough to blind her more coherent thought process into nothingness. As it was she didn't trust herself not to do something she'd regret later. Sighing, she turned back to his doorway with an eerie slowness that made her feel like she was having an out of body experience. "See you later."

2D stared, dumbfounded, after the door had been closed. There was an odd sensation settling in the pit of his stomach that made him want to bolt after her yet warned this was a terrible idea given her current state of mind. He had already kissed her once and it hadn't ended well. This time, if it was to happen, he knew he'd have to wait for her to come to him and do it of her own volition. It was awful, the ache of how badly Noodle herself wanted to taste his lips again, hot, sensuous, powerful against her own in the dim lighting of her remodeled room. Something told her it was not a prime idea no matter how much she wanted it. Her mind felt cloudy again, confusing her for a moment as to which button she should press on the lift. Eventually she settled on the Studio area since she figured it was early enough that Murdoc would still be in his lair, and Russel wouldn't be in the recording area. It wasn't exactly 5:00 AM or anything but even 9:00 AM was too early for the band of drunken misfits, at least in Murdoc's case. Russel would eventually stir due to a rumbling stomach with the intention of, more than likely, making waffles or pancakes for whoever happened to be awake at the time. Normally, it was just her and Russel eating together.

Sighing, she made her way to the synthesizer where 2D would usually try to come up with new melodies and such for their songs. Her fingers hovered idly above the black and white keys, unsure of whether she would bother to try and play something at that moment. Her heart ached in a way that left an unexplainable feeling swirling about her, a feeling that seemed to penetrate every fiber of her being to a point of pain. It was a constant heartache, one that settled in the pit of the organ and would not budge for anything; it palpitated. It grew, festering like a diseased wound for the entire world to see, except no one saw. Choking back what she considered a practically pitiful sob Noodle swiveled around to face the brightly lit walls of Plastic Beach's new, improved studio, courtesy of the Satanic Bassist. She couldn't honestly say she didn't like the way it looked but it was so foreign to her that a mere glance at it made her want to break every light bulb and tear down its walls. Sighing, she brought her attention back to the synthesizer with her fingers hovering over the keys once again, unsure if she should play something or try to even create something. The hollowness she felt, the emptiness that had begun to eat her up, tearing at the fragile seams of her consciousness was becoming a bit too much to bear every day. As result, she figured it was why the Android took over so much and left her with blanks in her memory, left her with moments of lucidity she could only attribute to her psychosis.

'_But what psychosis is it? If I'm aware that I have moments of lucidity and the Android wasn't, technically, a part of me…what's the matter with me?'_ Frowning, Noodle pondered these questions over and over again until they became a broken record in her mind, causing her to pull her hair in frustration. She didn't have amnesia nor did she believe that she had a split personality disorder or anything of the like. And the knowledge of this made her more and more antsy, uncomfortable and unsure of whether she'd ever fit in again. Staring at the black and white keys before her, Noodle's fingers slid until her arms were hanging at her sides in despair, eyes burning and tired from unshed tears. She felt like the world was closing in on her, like the walls were going to swallow her whole in their unforgiving, unrelenting arms and suffocate her until she breathed her last breath. Times like this she wished she had some kind of sick habit like smoking or drinking—she wasn't exactly thrilled about other negative coping methods. At least there might be the off chance of her enjoying drunkenness or marijuana laced intoxication, though she highly doubted it. Part of her personality was to never be caught off guard, and substances that hindered awareness were not high on her list. As it was, she was having issues with feeling like she wasn't herself, and knowing that her mind was a muddled mess of thoughts and memories she wished she could erase.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't even hear the door to the studio crack open. She practically screamed when a hand landed upon her shoulder but her current state of wonder caused her to merely look over in blatant yet dulled surprise. Murdoc stood there, mismatched eyes looking hazed over with a hangover and breath smelling like scotch or some other dank alcohol. Noodle eyed him warily if not confusedly, as if she was wearing a pair of opaque sunglasses clouded with grime. There was no disgust on her face. Simply puzzlement. Almost as if she did not recognize him at all. He felt concern make its way up his throat and thought to say something nice but nothing came out. As if sensing something was off the young woman shot him another curious look before sliding off the stool as if her legs were made of Jello before slinking out the door to leave him standing shocked in the middle of the studio. Outside the now closed door Noodle's heart was pounding in strange fright from Murdoc's sudden appearance, as if he was terrifying when she surely knew he wasn't_. 'So where is this coming from?_' She glanced around the empty common area, noting the dull thrum of the jukebox. The window covers were shut to block out the light and she knew it would be safer to return to her room than to remain where she was currently standing.

Moments later she was in the lift, riding it down to her floor while she bounced, anxiously, on the balls of her feet. There was a sudden itch in her fingertips to access a laptop to search for an answer to why she felt like her mind was not her own. She had not ever believed that there was the possibility of having a mental health disorder, as it was so commonly referred to—but lately, she was beginning to find no other explanation. She could not begin to fathom what was happening to her other than the feeling of loss and confusion that rattled her mind. She knew she was not schizophrenic but she couldn't think of any other disorder she may have. _'Perhaps seeing a therapist or something would be a better idea.' _It was strange that she would be considering, for her, a non-traditional approach to solving her issue—usually mediation or training would help ease her mind. But if she was indeed going mad then a possible shock to her normal methods might be the wiser choice. This decision did not come easily and Noodle figured it was best to keep such from 2D and Murdoc. However, she knew she would need to inform someone and that someone would be Russel. The drummer was more than capable of dealing with her, not to mention she was far more lucid around him than the others. She had, briefly, noticed she'd spiral out of control far more often when the vocalist or the bassist was present. Sighing, she resigned herself to the pathway she'd chosen and carefully made her way back up to the living area to find Russel. Instead, she found him perched at the stove in the kitchen cooking.

"Russel-san…I have a favor to ask."

Turning around slowly the drummer glanced at her, his white eyes wide and curious. "Baby girl…?"

Noodle clutched the table, her grip so tight her hands turned white. "I need you to take me back to land. I need…" she paused. "I want…I want to see someone."

"See someone?"

She nodded, lips in a thin line. "Yes. Please, can we go today, while it's still early?"

With a spatula in hand, and a half cooked piece of ham sizzling in the pan before him, the drummer still agreed, his head inclined in consent. "Yeah. Jus' lemme get da boat."

A couple hours later found Noodle and Russel sitting in a comfortable, cozy looking office with soft, classical melodies playing in the background. The chairs were soft, plush and they made Noodle's back ache for a slightly more firm backrest. She twiddled her fingers and Russel thumbed through a rather boring magazine with blatant disinterest. There was a large moniker hanging outside the office, the first thing they'd seen after their long journey, welcoming them in soothing colors. Noodle had to blink a couple of times at the name of facility. **Cherry Tree Therapy Centre.* **She had repeated the phrase to Russel in slight wonder, unsure of what to make of such a name. Cherry blossom trees, or Sakura trees, were a common symbol in her Japanese culture, speaking volumes about the human life cycle, she was unsure of its meaning here It appeared as though Russel had even less of a clue and they had proceeded in with general caution and discomfort. They had quickly filled out the paperwork, even given aliases instead of Noodle's real name though she doubted anyone would recognize her anymore. Now they were sitting, waiting in anticipation to be called. She was nervous, the feeling of dread and uncertainty slithering up and down her spine like a snake. It was as if every molecule was multiplied and she could feel every minute change filtering through her system, not unlike the odd sensation that resurfaced when she thought of hell.

So focused on what she was feeling Noodle almost shot out of her chair when the door opened and she heard someone call her name. When she brought her attention to the doorway there was a petit woman standing there, her auburn hair falling to her shoulders in ringlets. Noodle blanched. The woman's face was soft, round and seemingly clear of imperfections with a pair of 50's style glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. To her benefit the woman didn't appear over 40 years old, her clothes casual, relaxed and loose. A cream colored blouse hung loosely over a gray pencil skirt—she looked like a 50's housewife thrown into modern day times. Yet the woman offered her a warm smile and walked the short distance between them before extending her hand in greeting.

"Hi, you must be Asa. My name is Lisa and I'll be meeting with you today to discuss why you're here." She glanced over at Russel with a warm smile. "And you must be her friend, Randall." The drummer nodded. "Have you ever been to a place like this before…?" When both shook their heads Lisa simply smiled again. "Well, in that case, let me tell you how today will go. Asa, I will meet with you for about an hour. We will fill out a few more pieces of necessary paperwork, and then we can schedule another appointment if you feel ready to come back. I'm afraid you will have to wait here, Randall. Is that okay?"

"Yes," Noodle croaked in semi-fear. She hadn't done this before and it irked her. She quickly turned to Russel and gave him a small nod. "I will be back."

He just stared at her, which she took as acknowledgment before disappearing behind the wooden door with Lisa. She followed the woman into an open office furnished with more plush couches, a couple side tables and an automatic coffeemaker. The young Japanese woman wrinkled her nose at the acrid aroma of the coffee, preferring black teas and such to the caffeinated beverage. As if sensing this, Lisa carefully extended Noodle a steaming cup of water and a tray of assorted teas. Noodle blanched as she picked one and took a seat across from the woman, eyes wide.

"So, Asa…tell me why you're here." Lisa's cheerful smile felt genuine.

Noodle shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure of whether or not this was a good idea. But it was too late, and she was there. Sighing, she brought her gaze to Lisa's. "I think…I have a personality disorder." She, also, figured there was no point in hiding what she felt and thought was going on with her. "I have moments of lucidity. Some days I just…feel like I'm missing information, things that have happened. It's as if…I have another person living inside my head."

Lisa cocked her head to the side in interest. Noodle prickled. Immediately Lisa smiled again. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I am simply astounded at how easily you've told me this. Please…continue."

With another sigh, the olive skinned woman kept talking. "I go days without eating because this other person doesn't require sustenance the way my body does. She…she requires malice." Looking to the side, the hot steaming cup cradled in her hands, she spoke some more. "She is a part of me but…I don't know how."

Interest piqued, Lisa nodded to her. "Does she have a name?"

"Yes. It's Android Noodle. Or…it was…" Noodle trailed off.

"Was?"

"Yes. She was…thrown overboard into the ocean. I surmise that she will rust before too long and be rendered completely useless." When Lisa gave Noodle a blank look, the younger woman elaborated. "She's…she's not a living person. She was kind of like…a cyborg. Something created by a crazy man from my very DNA." The psychiatrist blanched, her collected, professional composure broken for a moment as she attempted to understand exactly what was transpiring in her patient. Noodle let out yet another sigh at the expression on Lisa's face. "Let's just say that…the person who made it was…less than okay upstairs. We can just call him…Mike. And Noodle and I…we became close when I returned home from a rather long…absence. As a result we melded, or, at the very least we certainly became like a part of each other. It's as if she's in all my thoughts, possibly controlling them to a certain extent. And I have…ceased to be, at time. Or so it seems."

"I see. And this Android Noodle, she was a physical, tangible entity?"

Noodle nodded slowly; as if she was unsure agreeing with the statement was a wise idea. "Yes. She was not an ethereal part of me. We were never in the same body. She was made of metal, of alloys and bolts, of oils and wiring. I don't know how but we could understand each other. Perhaps it was the DNA or some form of madness. I can't say. That is why…I'm here."

Lisa stared at her patient with more than slight shock. She had yet to encounter someone so fascinating and interesting and utterly broken. She could see the confused, wandering soul in the young woman's emerald eyes. "Asa," which Lisa began to believe was not the woman's name, decided that it would be good to continue having sessions, and figured doing a background check was a good idea. While it was not protocol, and maybe even against the rules, she just knew that there was something different about this case. Nevertheless, she wanted to help her and not just because her patient was a potential case for a thesis and such. Asa seemed to really need help. Resigned to this, Lisa handed Noodle a tissue. "Well, Asa, it seems as though we have a lot to discuss. Or mostly, I have a lot of listening to do. When would you like to setup another session? Let me know what times work for you and I can check my schedule to see how we can work this out. Does that sound like a good plan, for you?"

Noodle offered her a slightly apprehensive look, her mind twisting back and forth in discomfort at the sudden headache that began to threaten to take over. Something told her that the Android was not happy about what she'd just done and was trying, persistently, to take over and voice her opinions. Feeling a bit of panic drift into her system, she quickly took another gulp of tea and motioned to the door. "I'm sorry, but I think I need to leave now. Can I call you to setup a time?" Lisa nodded, quickly offering her a card with information on it. Noodle thanked her hastily and practically bolted out the door into the waiting room where Russel sat staring at his thumbs. Upon hearing her he looked up, white eyes wide as she pointed to the door, a strange calm starting to settle over her stress addled mind. For the oddest reason Russel always had this effect on her. "We ah, we should go now Russel-san. Please. Back home."

Moments later they were gone. In the back office Lisa jotted down notes and hoped she'd be hearing from the mysterious Asa.

* * *

The ride home was more or less silent with Noodle staring out the window in what looked like boredom but most certainly was distress and uncertainty. Russel said nothing for fear he might startle her out of whatever reverie she seemed so stuck on at the moment. Seconds passed before she turned to face him, bright emerald eyes slightly glossy to alert him she was semi-lucid at the time. Smiling in a deranged manner Noodle leaned back comfortably in her seat as though she'd suddenly lost all her bone mass. Her eyes were glued to dashboard of the Stylo as if curious. He already knew he was going to have a lot to deal with since he didn't exactly ask Murdoc to borrow the machine but he didn't care. If the bassist made the slightest stink he would gladly break the other man's nose again. They were nearing the point where the car would soon become an underwater boat of sorts, courtesy of Murdoc. It was designed to change when it hit the water but the prospect of diving into the water to initiate this change never did sit well with either Noodle of Russel. Only the Android and 2D seemed unaffected though they'd venture to guess 2D was unfazed due to his lack of attention and the constant intake of drugs.

He heard her sigh next to him and wondered what she could possibly be thinking. It was mere moments before they reached the water's edge to go into the murky ocean, moments until they'd reach the plastic, faux beach they called home. It appeared as though Noodle was still with him, all parts of her mind. It was refreshing, at the very least, to know that she was able to retain part of herself in the moment when he thought she'd fail. The therapy session, it seemed, had gone relatively well and he was less concerned than he originally anticipated he would be; she'd been calm. Instead she remained in her seat with her hands folded neatly in her lap, suddenly looking more like a Japanese doll than the Warrior Axe princess she was. It did irk him but he refused to interrupt her. The smile on her face had softened from deranged to contemplative with a hint of discomfort. But anything was better than her looking maniacally at everyone around her. He shook his head when they slowly crept into the ocean's water edge, inching in slowly to start the process of the Stylo changing into an ocean bound vehicle.

Seconds later the drummer was maneuvering through the dark, murky blue water with a carefulness that signified he was weary of their surroundings. Noodle was staring out the window in curiosity, looking very much like the child she no longer was with her hands and nose pressed against the glass and a comfortable smile on her lips. He could see jellyfish floating about and was more than thankful for the metal barrier between them and the dangerous creatures. Soon they'd be encountering other sea life and then, finally, Plastic Beach would spring up before their eyes. Their home was anything but ideal and, truth be told, he hated it just as much as Noodle did. Neither had become quite adjusted to the place but it was their new home. Kong was gone and this was how it had to be now. It wasn't much longer before they had docked into Plastic Beach, and Noodle had walked inside resolutely with her hands behind her back. Russel followed at a much slower pace behind her, hands at his sides while they both listened for anything that might be happening in the upper reaches of their home. While both had been against leaving 2D with the bassist alone, the vocalist had survived quite some time without them and it seemed he'd be fine. It was then that they heard the racket above.

"Yew wasn't supposed ta tell'er nuthin, dullard!"

2D's confused voice could be heard responding. "Muds, I wosn't gonna lie to'er anymo. Yew fink she's stupid?"

Noodle raised a brow at this, clearly irritated that this conversation was happening while she wasn't around to defend the less coherent man. Russel cracked his knuckles in response as they took the lift up. The lift's noise alone alerted the other two that both of them had returned and they listened to the footsteps coming towards them. When they stepped out of the tight space Noodle immediately grabbed 2D's hand and dragged him away from the bassist into the recording area, surprising both of them just in time for Russel to grab Murdoc by his collar and drag him up to the studio patio. Neither ever looked back.

Once in the odd calm of the recording area Noodle pushed 2D down into the nearest seat, ignoring that fact that such a gesture made him cower a little. She didn't wait for him to get comfortable, delving head on into her interrogation. "What happened at Kong? I can't remember everything."

The semi-sinister look on her face, the ever-present hints of the sneer of the Android made him cringe. "Wot yew talkin' 'bout lil love?"

Frustrated, she shook her hands in the air. "What happened on the bus ride? Don't act daft, Stuart."

As realization dawned on him, a small relieved smile broke out on his face. "Oh. Nufink. Yew fell asleep."

"I didn't say anything, didn't do anything?" She questioned in curiosity. "Nothing at all?" He shook his head, confirming. "Oh…" she took a seat across from him, shoulders slumping though whether in relief or despair he didn't know. "That's…good then."

It was silent for some time, the quiet stretching between them like elastic until the point where Noodle thought her head might burst. But she was not mean to be the one to break the silence. 2D's eyes darted to hers. "So…where'd yew go wit' Russ?"

Noodle felt her cheeks flame at the inquiry, suddenly knotting the tissue in her hand, unaware that she'd still had it. "I uh…I went out to take care of some things. Spending time with Russel…errands…" She trailed. He didn't seem to believe her and she floundered for a better explanation. "I just can't talk about it right now, 2D-san. Please understand."

He shot her a slightly confused but forlorn look, ultimately agreeing to it and turning his head to look at the keyboard before him. Noodle felt her throat tighten at the action but waited patiently for his next move. He quietly turned the keyboard on, fingers splaying across the keys to play off key tunes and spinning them into something beautiful, something magnificent. It made tears spring to Noodle's burning, tired eyelids. She hated that he didn't even realize how talented he was, how much he made the Gorillaz what they were. Murdoc may have been their lead but the insufferable man was not the face of the Gorillaz themselves—the bassist had been smart in that aspect. Wanting nothing more than to curl into herself and vanish into the never ending depths of the ocean surrounding them, Noodle did little more than continue to stare at 2D as he hummed along with whatever tune he was playing. His fingers slid across the keys again and again only to drag out a sweet melody that felt like velvet slipping delicately, trance-like over her senses. It was only moments later that she realized he was playing the soft melody of "Sound Check (Gravity)" from an old album of theirs when she was just a girl. It made her fingers clench in uncertainty and a sudden fear that she was about to lose her cool and fall into despair before this very eyes. The Android's voice was starting to surface and she tried desperately to keep it beneath.

As if realizing what could happen, though she had no idea how, 2D stopped playing the keyboard and turned to her with a smile on his face. "Noods?"

She snapped from her reverie. "Yes?"

"Did yew…wanna go fo' a boat ride o'sumfink?"

The question caught her completely off guard to the point where she would have toppled from the stool she was currently seated on; but she stilled. Nodding slowly, she offered him an uneasy smile. "Um…yes…that would be quite nice. When would you like to go?"

"Now," he replied quickly hopping off the seat with a newfound fervor and determination that Noodle found quirky if not entirely unnerving and uncharacteristic.

She began to eye him suspiciously as if he were an alien who had grown three heads. Was this a trap? Suddenly the Android's paranoid thoughts began to interfere and she bit her lip in an effort to skirt the poisonous thoughts away. Only then were they able to proceed to the boat in relative peace. They both could hear Russel yelling at Murdoc but neither thought it wise to even venture into the fight. Noodle, for one, didn't feel like saving the bassist this time after everything that had happened. She figured he deserved to suffer a bit and if 2D's soulless gaze was any indication, it only reinforced this thought.

Out on the sparkling ocean the water rippled pleasantly, silently beneath the boat's weight. Noodle's chin rested comfortably on her palm, elbow sitting upon the edge of her knee while she gazed out onto the endless distance before them. 2D had stopped paddling to let them float about the peaceful water. Plastic Beach wasn't too far away from them but far enough that Noodle suddenly forgot they lived out in the middle nowhere. She let out a heavy sigh as 2D's blank stare continued to gaze out into the open ocean water. She couldn't tell if she was okay with how he was now, nor would she ever be. It was something she was slowly coming to terms with and it was not getting any easier by the day. Already her thought process was ridiculously train wrecked when she went down the road of trying to make sense of whatever her psychosis was surrounding the Android. As it was, the machine wasn't even physically around anymore so why was she freaking out about it so much? Looking into the inky depths she wondered how far it had sunk below the surface of the water, curious as to when it had actually been disposed of. Russel had only mentioned that he'd made the bassist throw it overboard but nothing further, and not even the location of where it happened.

"Lil love?"

Wincing a little at the nickname she had once prized as special, Noodle brought her eyes to his hollowed, blackened pair. Nodding, she gave him a small fake smile. "Yes, 2D-san?"

"Do yew…is'ere someone yew…like?"

The question threw her into a state of confusion and she arched a brow. "Is there someone I like?" He shook his head. "I…do not understand. Where is this coming from, 2D-san?"

Fingering a bottle of newly produced medication the blue haired singer fiddled with it in feigned interest, which the Japanese guitarist could blatantly see. "Well…yew know…yew're an…attractive young woman. I fink s'normal to fink someone might…yew might be…yew might like someone."

If it had been any other time and she had been in any other mindset she would've laughed herself off the small boat they were currently drifting in; but she only frowned. "I…there is…someone." She hated how her voice cracked but she looked imploringly into his eyes, hoping that they would convey what she felt but unsure whether this was the right method. 2D looked relieved for a moment before he averted his gaze back to the ocean. "2D, is there someone you like at this time? It has been…many years. Surely there is someone?"

He blinked at her in surprise. "No…"

"Oh," she replied quickly, a blush rising to her cheeks just as he looked away again. It felt odd being there in a blanket of uncertainty with fear and anxiety coursing through her veins from the Android and a leftover therapy session she didn't know how to process. Her mind and body suddenly felt very heavy. Letting her fingers trail in the water in an attempt to calm herself, Noodle scowled. "2D-san…"

"Yeh?"

"Can we go back to Plastic Beach now, please? I have something I need to do."

He nodded and reached for the paddle. Moments later after a joint effort in paddling—2D had encountered an enormous of trouble doing it alone—they were back at Plastic Beach with Noodle taking the steps two at a time. 2D noticed this right away and quickly followed after her as quickly as his gangly, awkward, medication ridden body allowed. For all her anger and sudden complacency Noodle was still gracefully quick, ever the Axe Princess. 2D stumbled after her, tapping his foot impatiently when the lift had closed in his face. He had a pretty good idea where Noodle had run to and he had decided that enough was enough and he wanted—no, needed now—to know what was going on with her. He needed to know where she had gone and what she was hiding. It was no longer an option to just leave her be and hope she came to him. Granted it had been that long and he knew he needed to proceed with caution he still wasn't ready to let it go either. When the lift finally released him onto the common area floor he bolted to the recording studio door, throwing it open just in time to almost mow Noodle down. The things she had in her hand fell to the floor in a loud clatter. Shrieking, she knelt down in a spastic manner trying to retrieve all the items back into her arms before he could see. But 2D had already grabbed one of the LPs with his picture on it. Curious as to why she was taking them from the recording studio, he brought his eyes to the rest of the LPs in her arms. They were all of him, all signed, all with pictures of him on the front. They were his. Eyes widening to the size of saucers, he looked at her horror stricken features.

"Noods…?"

She stuttered, seemingly at a loss for words. "It's…it's not what you think, 2D-san?"

"Are yew stealin' LPs?"

His incredulous tone made her wince. "No, no, I'm not stealing LPs from our band. I…" She couldn't seem to figure out how to get the words to make sense of what she was doing. It was seconds later that his expression hardened and Noodle found herself in full blown tears at the accusation. "I swear I'm not stealing them!"

"Then where yew goin wit'em?" His voice was rising and Noodle choked back a sob. "Lil love, where yew takin those? Wot's wrong wit' yew? Yew been actin strange fo' a while. Yew an' tha Android…yew been actin' mo' like 'er! Like a monster! And now yew're stealing stuff? 'ho the 'ell are yew anymo'? And lyin' 'bout liking' someone? Yew fink I was bo'n yesterday? I kno' yew like Muds!"

His words cut deep and Noodle suddenly threw the records to the floor in surprise, anger, then distress, tears now flowing freely down her scarred olive skin. Her lips trembled as she tried to speak and 2D suddenly had the urge to slap himself. Had he gotten it all wrong? Noodle threw her hands up in the air in defeat when he said nothing further.

"You, you…you IDIOT!" She finally shouted, jabbing her finger into 2D's chest. "Muds? Murdoc, you think I like Murdoc? You're the stupidest man I know, 2D-san!"

Irritated and feeling nauseous the vocalist roared back at her. "Yeh? Well if not 'im, then 'ho?"

"You!" She shrieked back. "I like you, idiot!"

A quick, awkward silence enveloped them and Noodle clapped her hands over her mouth, tears still falling over her red rimmed eyes as she stared, wide-eyed and shocked, at 2D across from her. His own eyes had widened at the statement, hands falling to his sides in utter surprise as both face each other unsure of what to do. The choice was taken from him as Noodle jumped to her feet and all but literally threw him out of the recording studio and locked the door. Even in his shock 2D managed to start banging on the recording studio door, not sure what he was going to say now, but not about to ignore what had just happened. Upstairs he could hear Murdoc yelling at him to stop all the racket but he didn't care. He kept on hitting the heavy door, pleading with her to let him back inside. Noodle tried hard to ignore the shouts coming from the other side, her eyes burning as she hung her head in her hands, back to the studio door while she sobbed. His shocked face had said it all, had answered the one burning question that she had been wracking her brain about for the last 7 years. With another deep, choked sob, Noodle curled into herself and fell to the carpeted floor. She had never felt so alone and this time, even the Android's biting words did nothing to soothe her.

**TBC**

* * *

_(Hey all. Finally done with chapter 10. I'm think this will be completed in about 3 chapters. At least this story arc. Not sure if I'll make a sequel since this took SO long. But it will be done soon. Sorry about the wait. Thanks to everyone who had read, reviewed, and is still doing all that. I appreciate all your support.)_

_~Sadistickunais_


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